So, I’ve decided to come out of my unexplained month-long solitary confinement because A) It’s about bloody time, and B) I just had to share this story.

Remember that I have, on several occasions, remarked on Facebook’s sneaky monitoring of my Internet activities and then feeding me relevant ads?

And not doing a very good job of it, I might add, like when it started showing me ads for eyelash curlers immediately after I bought one online? I don’t need to look at eyelash curlers anymore after I’ve bought one. I’m not interested! Or, like, showing me loads of ads targeted at teachers when my occupation is clearly listed as blogger?

 

Me with curled eyelashes, courtesy of an eyelash curler.

 

Well, I’m thinking that Facebook must have taken my complaints to heart because it has recently improved its stalking skills, not to mention telepathic ones.

That’s right. Facebook can now read your mind.

Even when you’re not on the Internet.

And here’s the proof.

Last night, Piers and I went to Sainsbury’s to buy breakfast stuff for the weekend. When we were at the bread aisle, and Piers was busy choosing a packet of bagels to bring home, I saw a product I’d never seen before (because we normally shop online so we miss stuff that way).

It was this product:

 

Warburtons Sandwich Thins

 

I thought it looked very tasty so I said to Piers, “Hey, this looks really nice. I’m going to try it next time.” (We’d already agreed on bagels this weekend.)

Piers didn’t hear me because he was still too busy mulling over bagel flavours.

But someone else heard me.

Someone sneaky by the name of Facebook.

UH HUH!

Because, this morning, when I went online and logged into Facebook, I was immediately greeted by this ad:

 

 

In case you can’t read the small print, it says, “You like our Sandwich Thins, now like us on Facebook too!”

You like our Sandwich Thins…

 

WHAT MANNER OF SORCERY IS THIS, FACEBOOK?!?!?! HUH? HUH???

 

Last night was the first time I knew of the existence of these Sandwich Thins and I didn’t mention it to anyone apart from a selectively deaf husband, who was entirely focused on bagelry at that time, nor did I come home and google it or anything like that. The fact is that I forgot all about it the moment we left the bread aisle.

No one should know that I was showing any interest at all at Warburtons Sandwich Thins, okay, you hear me, Facebook?! Not a soul!

So there is only one thing left to do now.

We must all start wearing tin foil hats. And stat!

 

Man, some people just look good in everything! Pfft.