Acting the office slut

The other day, I received a call inviting me to audition for the role of an office slut.

“Office slut? Hahaha…” I said.

“We have three roles, actually,” the producer said quickly. “The office slut is the leading role. Well, she’s not really an office slut. More like a sexy bombshell who attracts all the guys. There’s also a pretty bimbo and a smart accountant.”

When I got to the production office, I was given scripts and asked to read for all three roles. Although they had initially invited me to audition for the office slut aka hot mama role, both director and producer thought I was more suitable for pretty bimbo upon meeting me. They also considered me for smart accountant because they needed someone with good diction for that role.

A few days later, I got a call telling me I’ve got the leading role of the Hot Mama.


I don’t have a sexy bone in my body, wat? I don’t even have cleavage. But I happily accepted the role. A job’s a job, y’know?

It was a three-day shoot for a corporate video. We were supposed to act out several funny skits to showcase a well-known company’s office equipment products. The video would be shown at an event for business associates.

Corporate videos are usually boring jobs. But this job was just awesome. The script was funny and fun to act in. The crew was friendly and jovial, the director had a great sense of humour and kidded around with us, the cast got along well. I was quite sorry when the three days ended.

Two of the actors were people i’ve worked with before.

There’s Peer, who was Master Chief at my Halo 3 jobs. He played the boss of this dysfunctional company we work at, and he was damn funny at it.

Unfortunately, I didn’t take a photo of him because I only took out my camera on the third day and Peer wasn’t on set on that day. Sheesh.

There’s Fish, with whom I’ve worked countless times. Including the Halo 3 job! Yeah, he was there, too, as one of the marines.

Fish played the role of Handsome Guy. Isn’t he handsome? Incidentally, you can catch Fish in the latest Singaporean movie, Truth Be Told, starring Yvonne Lim. Go watch! Support local productions!

We rested in this room whenever we weren’t needed.

This meeting room had been turned into a holding area, makeup unit, dining room and rest lounge. We spent the time here joking with each other when it wasn’t our turn to be filmed.

Fish pretended to be a job interviewee.

I camwhored.

How fun.

One of my scenes involved a photoshoot in corporate clothes where I had to flirt with Fish’s character.

The role was really quite a stretch for me. Really lah! I look nothing like a hot mama and my clothes are wrong. But it was a rush job and we had to make do.

The result of the mock photoshoot:

Group shot! Me and Fish with the crew:

The other actors weren’t involved in this scene so they were resting in the holding area.

Here’s Judy (with Fish), who played the Pretty Bimbo:

And Janna (right), who played the Smart Accountant:

This was when they just arrived and haven’t gotten into costume yet.

We did this funny scene where we were all talking on the phone at the same time.

It was hilarious. In fact, the whole three days were hilarious. Comedy is so fun!

Director Zul is a superman. Apart from being the director and scriptwriter, he is also the DOP and cameraman.

For this scene, he took on one more role: soundman.

This is the first time I’ve seen anyone operate a camera and boom mike at the same time on a panning shot! It was amazing but so funny!

There was a lot of lighthearted banter between takes.

When the crew was busy setting up, Sani (who played the Office Secretary and my character’s main love interest) put on a straight face and asked the director, “Director, what’s my motivation for this scene?”

Which was funny because it’s a bit redundant to use motivations (an acting technique) for a short comic corporate video.

Laughter all around.

“Your motivation is to do a good take so I won’t fire your ass,” said Zul.

More laughter.

I’m paraphrasing the director, of course. I don’t remember his exact answer but it was funny like that.

Inspired thus, Sani decided to give an impromptu Acting 101 lecture. He put on this stupid accent and launched into his lecture to no one in particular.

Of course, he didn’t expect me to switch my camera to video-capturing mode. I captured a minute of his silliness before he realised that someone was videotaping him.


Will post the video tomorrow. Watch out for it!

It’s easier to be ugly

Oh my god I’m so ugly.

The bad news is that this is the least ugly picture of the ugly lot. I don’t dare show the others.

When the Goonfather walked past my computer to go to the bathroom, he peeked at the pictures I had open in my Adobe Photoshop. He squinted at them and said, “Ee-yer! Who is this toot!”

*strangles Goonfather*

The good news is that, at the end of the video, I go back to normal.

But the bad news is that I look like the first picture in 70% of the video.

The good news is that the video runs for only 90 seconds. It’s almost like a TV commercial.

According to the client, it will be shown on MRT screens in the Northeast line and at roadshows. I’m glad I don’t know anyone who takes the Northeast line.

Actually, in retrospect, looking ugly for this video is very worth it because it was really fun to act in.

I am this bumbling, loser executive type who gets the brunt of Murphy’s Law. At the end of the video I magically (kinda) transform into a happy, confident chick, thanks to NTUC (which this video is commissioned by).

It’s a comedy. A bit corny, but cute. And very, very fun to act in.

I want to act in comedies and not have to worry about people thinking I’m not good-looking enough to be on TV or in films.

You know how some people are very cruelly practical when it comes to passing judgement on actors and models.

“So ugly still dare to become actress! Wah lau!”

They forget that you need ugly people on TV, too. Yes, even for leading characters. And most comedy shows in Singapore don’t cast unbelievably good-looking actors. They cast real, average-looking people who are funny.

So, that’s what I want to be.

Right. Who am I kidding? I’m lucky to get a job, never mind the choosing part.

He-who-cannot-be-named said that I’m too picky.

No way, man. I did the Carlsberg commercial, didn’t I?

Speaking of which, that commercial is totally playing hide-and-seek with me. Some of you are observant enough to notice that there are four versions and I only appear in one. So far, I have seen all three other versions several times, but I have yet to see mine.

Perhaps it’s for the best. I have been told I look trashy in it.

See, it’s difficult when you’re anywhere above the category of ugly. As long as you’re not ugly, people obssess over your looks. They expect you to look a certain degree of perfection all the time. And if you don’t, it’s your fault.

It’s a stupid world we live in.