Patapon: Cutest game in the world

At first, I thought that the Goonfather had lost all his marbles.

He sat at his desk, chanting to himself.

“Pata pata pata pon… pata pata pata pon… pata pata pata pon.”

“Stop it!” I told him, “You sound retarded!”

“Hey!” he objected. “It’s a PSP game. Looks cool. Maybe I should get it.”

Then he went on chanting while I rolled my eyes to let him know what I thought of his patapon.

A few days later, the Goonfather slumped into the bean bag with his PSP while I was working on my computer.

After a while, his PSP started chanting, “Pata pata pata pon…”

OMG, he got the damn game. I buried my face in my hands and wept silently while, in the background, “pata pata pata pon” droned on merrily.

Shortly after.

We were in bed one night performing our nightly ritual (the Goonfather on his PSP, me reading a book) when, once again, I heard that confounded “pata pata pata pon” squeaking off his tinny PSP speakers.

What could possess a grown man to suffer such hideously cute drummings in the ear? Curiosity rolled me over to his side of the bed to peer at his PSP screen.

What the hell. As I watched the game, I started laughing and couldn’t stop.

Patapon is the cutest game I’ve ever seen. When I first heard the chanting, I was irritated by the whole cheesiness of it. But seeing it is altogether different.

In the game, you control a tribe of little eyeball soldiers. YES, EYEBALLS. With tiny little arms holding tiny little weapons. Absolutely cute! It’s a rhythm game, so you beat out relevant rhythms on your PSP to command the little eyeballs (to march, attack, defend or retreat).

Each time after you beat out a rhythm, your little patapons will chant the rhythm while they perform your command, so you get an endless loop of chants that go, “Pata pata pata pon… pon pon pata pon.”

It’s a simple game with a simple premise but it’s hypnotically captivating. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I couldn’t wait to hear the next chant. I couldn’t stop delighting as I looked upon the cute little eyeball patapons. I couldn’t stop laughing at the funny things they were saying.

They’re talkative, the little patapons. Speech bubbles pop out continuously as they comment on the battle or on your playing (they’ll complain if you suck).

The Goonfather is known as Lord Goon in the game. Hahahahaha.

I haven’t actually played it myself. I don’t think it’s fun because it looks pretty monotonous, being a side-scrolling game with only one floor to march through in each mission. The Goonfather is addicted to it, but I only like looking at the patapons and hearing their cute chantings. I don’t actually want to play it.

You can go to the official Patapon website to hear the chant.

Or you can watch this YouTube trailer.

While you’re at it, check out this funny TV commercial showing cute Japanese girls playing the game. At least, I think it’s funny. I don’t know because I don’t understand Japanese.

Can someone tell me what they’re saying??

Yesterday, I was at McDonald’s when I suddenly heard a soft “Pata pata pata pon!” straining under the noisy Sunday chatter and radio music blaring in the restaurant.

I pricked my ears (sorta like a dog except I can’t actually move my ears) and there it was again.

“Pata pata pata pon!”

A little girl was saying it.

I finally traced the sound to this table where an Indian man sat with his three kids. The man and his son were both playing a PSP each.

The little girl was watching her daddy play while she chanted nonstop, “Pata pata pata pon,” in time with the music.

OMG.

If I were her daddy, I would strangle her.

It’s super irritating when you hear someone chant it. Actually, the music/chanting in the game is also super irritating if you’re only hearing it. You have to watch the gameplay at the same time in order to appreciate the cuteness.

The Goonfather hasn’t played it for a few days because he’s now addicted to Dynasty Warriors 6 on the PS3 and God of War on the PSP.

But he’s very easy to influence. He’ll probably feel the urge to play it again after reading this blog. Then I’ll get to see more cute patapons!

Sly, eh?