Since I am not a famous actress and no one is going to give me rave reviews for my performance in I Not Stupid Too, I shall do it myself!
I was a certified journalist so I should be more than qualified to give official reviews, shouldn’t I? Even if it’s of myself.
So, here goes.
Shen Qiaoyun — The Review
Making a surprise appearance in hit movie I Not Stupid Too is actress Shen Qiaoyun (formerly known and credited in the movie as Serena Sim).
Ms Shen simply sizzles on the silver screen. Yes, she is hot because her character has a bun in the oven and she looks like she should be lying down on the delivery bed instead of gallivanting around with a bunch of hyperactive kids.
For her role of a conservative pregnant primary school teacher, the youthful-looking actress sacrificed her “Act Cute in Baby Tee” specialty…
…to put on a maternity dress and horn-rimmed glasses.
And it is a worthy sacrifice because the actress really stands out in the movie. That is, her belly really stands out. She has many speaking lines, which, in showbiz terms, means “significant role (but not significant enough to be named in press releases)”.
In fact, this reviewer would find it a daunting challenge if asked to pick a line delivered by the actress that could possibly be Oscar material — there are so many. Should it be the line that goes “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8”, when she counts time for the children for a dance performance, or the one that goes, “2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8”?
Regardless, it is now clearly evident that Ms Shen can count. To at least eight.
And it is only a matter of time before she receives her pre-school graduation certificate.
On Monday, Jan 16, after the gala premiere of the long-awaited sequel to 2002’s I Not Stupid, a few members of the audience could be heard raving over the actress, who is well on her way to graduating from her showbiz status of “Not So Famous” to “Still Not Famous Yet”.
“Acting is quite natural except for some parts!”
“Looks like a mother!”
“Who the hell are you talking about?!”
These were some of the phrases uttered in praise of the illustrious actress.
Asked to comment on her own performance, Ms Shen said, “I am very relieved that I don’t look as bad on the big screen as I expected I would.”
Pressed further, the actress revealed that she had her hands up at her face throughout the movie in anticipation of cowering in embarrassment whenever she appeared on screen.
Such endearing modesty.
The actress went so far as to disguise herself at the gala premiere so that no one would recognise her as the pregnant teacher in the movie.
Ms Shen was spotted at the cocktail reception emulating Emily, her favourite merchandise mascot.
But her identity was revealed when she was later seen heading towards the theatre seat bearing her name.
Some of the actors were visibly upset by this invasion of privacy.
“Oh my god, our names are on the seats! This is so embarrassing,” said an actor who refused to be named.
Ms Shen, however, graciously took the infringement in her stride because all eyes were on the main stars of the show a few seats away, anyway. Nobody noticed when she busied herself by peering into the goodie bag generously contributed by SingTel and other sponsors.
Watch out for more of Ms Shen’s appearances on TV and cinema screens as the actress lends her presence to any production that can afford her daily rate — an amount somewhere in the vicinity of the gross national product of a developed anthill.
Indeed, I Not Stupid Too, directed by the multi-talented director Jack Neo, is all the more richer with Ms Shen’s involvement because she will be elevating box office takings by forcing all her friends, relatives and neighbours to watch the movie.
I Not Stupid Too launches in cinemas on Jan 26, 2006.
