Being an actor gives one the license to do all sorts of naughty things.
So, that’s gonna be my line the next time someone asks me (for the umpteenth time) why I decided to become an actress.
Some of the “naughty” things I’ve done in the name of acting:
- Push someone into the Singapore River
- Dance in a graveyard
- Drink on the job
- Do a mock strip tease
- Slap someone
- Kiss under a fountain
- Scare an unsuspecting public with ghostly makeup
- Blow cigarette smoke in someone’s face
- Yell at someone older than me
- Tell a lie in court
I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to be an actor.
Of course, then again, one would have to be able to take all the shit as well as the fun.
Example of shit:
Long waiting hours between shots, sleeping in all kinds of weird places because there is nothing else to do.
This isn’t an extreme example of shit but I’m not really going that direction today.
I promised to tell you what this guy was doing to me, some time back.
Only one person got it right. Mince Pye said, “Sound technician installing your wireless mic?”
The wireless mic usually goes under the clothes, around the chest area. But, for some reason, my wardrobe during that shoot kept causing a lot of sound disturbance, so this one time, the sound guy decided to hide the mic behind my ear, where it could be covered by my hair.
He went a bit overboard with the tape.
The mic was held in place by surgical tapes because the sound man’s gaffer tape had mysteriously disappeared (again, he claimed).
On the first day of the shoot, the mic was placed inside my hat, just above my forehead where my hairline is.
It wasn’t done nicely the first time and the gaffer tape stuck to my hair and refused to come off. I had to pull off quite many strands of hair in the process.
Well, I generally have no problems with losing hair, but it’s painful when done forcefully.
My co-actors didn’t have any mic woes like I did. Their clothes didn’t mess up the sound, so they had their mics in the regular spot.
I had my long smoking scene that day.
(No smoking photos because, like I said before, I don’t want to glamourise smoking.)
The smoking scene was done in a big, beautiful house.
Smoking in style.
Me taking a photo of myself on the screen:
There was a scene in which I had to enter the house with two bottles of beer. We did many takes of that, so I had to spend many long minutes waiting outside the door.
There was nothing to do but camwhore. I set my camera on timer and did a self-photoshoot.
After years of experience waiting on the set, I’ve developed several effective ways to entertain myself, besides sleeping.
The smoking scene didn’t happen till late at night.
It was a very long scene. A five-minute scene done in one shot. That means there had to be many takes to get it perfect, because if there was even one small mistake anywhere in the five minutes, we had to do it all over.
I was literally chain smoking that night as we did take after take.
By my fifth cigarette (although I didn’t have to smoke each stick all the way), I started feeling high.
It was a nice sensation, actually, my first time experiencing it. Thoughts running through my head:
“No wonder people get addicted to smoking.”
“Oh, no, am I going to be addicted, especially since I hang out with smokers?”
That last one was me feeling happy and giggly from the smokes.
I lost count of the number of times we redid the scene. By my 10th or so cigarette, I started getting seriously giddy, like I had drunk too much alcohol, which actually kinda helped because I was supposed to be partially drunk in that scene.
But after way too many cigarettes, I started feeling not very good. My hands turned cold and I felt like I might break out into cold sweat any moment.
By about 1:30 am or so, we finally wrapped. I grabbed a cab and felt sick all the way home.
When I got home, I complained to the Goonfather, “I’m going to die.”
He informed me that I was suffering from nicotine overdose and asked me to drink a lot of water to dilute the nicotine.
I was nauseous and giddy and just generally horrible. So I cooked a packet of instant tom yam beehoon because I always feel better after eating something sour when I have a hangover.
After the tom yam, the nausea got a teensy bit better, but I still largely felt like shooting myself out of misery – https://www.nafsiyat.org.uk/viagra-online/.
The next day, when I finally felt normal again, I decided that the sickness was a blessing in disguise. It had totally turned me off smoking. The ordeal I had gone through had given me a huge distaste for smoking.
But still I love being an actress and doing things I otherwise wouldn’t get to do under normal circumstances.
I think it’s an interesting way to live, anyway.