I’ve always felt that the yellow markings seen in MRT stations are an embarrassment to our country.
That the authorities need to draw bright yellow lines and arrows to teach us exactly where to stand and where to walk is an insult to our intelligence.
We do not need any lines, yellow, green or purple, dammit, because Singaporeans don’t give a freaking damn about them.
Your arrows don’t scare us.
We will stand exactly where we please, thank you very much.
So, here’s a little story to illustrate why we don’t need the markings:
One day, Little QY goes to take the MRT. It’s peak hour, so she stands behind a yellow marking to “queue up”.
Along comes OL (Office Lady). OL stands beside Little QY.
“WTF!” thinks Little QY to herself. (This compulsion to swear instantly robs her of her innocence so that she has to drop the “Little” from her name.)
Daaaamn.
“Stupid, uncultured OL,” mutters QY under her breath. “Wear so nice but got no manners lah. You’re supposed to stand behind the yellow line, not on it.
“As if standing on the line will fool anyone. And why must you stand right in front of my face?!”
Luckily, OL is as deaf as she is ill-mannered, so she doesn’t hear.
QY briefly considers going to stand right in front of OL to get her own back, but then she decides that she’s above such petty games.
After all, does it matter whether you’re the 10th or 11th person to get on the train?
By this time, many an RP (Random Person) has started to gather around the platform.
Shortly after, the train arrives from a distance away.
Some people shuffle anticipatively, some continue to stare blankly ahead, some take a step forward.
OL takes many steps forward as the train looms nearer and nearer.
A few RPs follow suit.
“WTF is wrong with you people?!” QY wants to shout out. “You want to stand there, then stand there from the start lah!! Why go through the farce of pretending to stand behind (or on) the marking in the first place? Siao lah, you people!”
She doesn’t, of course, yell those words out, because she doesn’t want to find herself accidentally pushed onto the tracks with a train pulling in at top speed.
By the time the train gets to a complete stop, the doorway area is crowded with inconsiderate morons trying to get on the train, sneakily avoiding eye contact with people inside the train trying their darnedest to get out.
End of story.
And now, the moral:
Isn’t it painfully obvious that the yellow lines and arrows in MRT stations do not work? People don’t even know how to use them.
As far as I can see, there are only two things that the markings and arrows accomplish:
- Make Singaporeans look stupid for needing markings to tell them where to stand.
- Make Singaporeans look stupid for appearing not to know how to use the markings.
So, get rid of them already. They’re such an eyesore. Just leave the original yellow line to stop people from standing too close to the edge of the platform and getting their noses sliced off by incoming trains.
Oh, and whenever I’m in the train trying to get out, I wish I were a bowling ball.
Striiiiiiike!
