Bite-size Sheylara – Messy



My mind feels messy. It’s like, I have so many things to do every day. So many thoughts to think. It paralyses me because I don’t know how to prioritise. Everything seems equally important.

Sometimes I end up not doing anything of worth because doing one thing makes me feel guilty for not doing the other thing.

I end up playing a game to relieve stress.

I feel better after a while. And then I feel even more horrible because the “important” things remain undone.

Sometimes it’s because while I’m doing one thing, another urgent thing comes in so I work on it, then I forget the first thing.

Sometimes yet another urgent thing comes in while I’m doing the second thing, so I attend to it and then forget the first and second things.

It’s all very messed up.

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New computer

Bought a new super computer on Saturday with Windows 7.

It worked fine for two days, then I installed Mozilla Firefox and it started getting laggy. Firefox hung twice.

One brand new 500GB harddisk was diagnosed faulty.

The next day, the computer refused to start up. It said no OS detected after two hours.

I won’t be able to send it to the PC clinic until Saturday.

Using Fluffy in the meantime, which makes me uncomfortable. I love Fluffy but I can’t do serious work on her.

It feels very claustrophobic.

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Gamer Girl Friday

I’ve thought about this for several months. I finally decided it’s time to make some changes for Gamer Girl Friday.

A long weekly column doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m still going to keep the GGF tag because people have grown familiar with it, but I will now write gaming posts as and when, instead of just once a week.

So you’ll get many small posts over the week instead of one long post once a week.

Regular non-gaming posts will still operate as usual.

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Breakfast in Kuching

I’m flying to Kuching tomorrow morning.

It’s an impromptu trip!

I was talking to Nanny Wen on MSN about work and she went, “By the way, you wanna go Kuching tomorrow?”


Actually, I didn’t say all that. I just think I should’ve.

I said, “Okay!”

Because I love spontaneity.

We’re going to attend Kenny Sia’s new gym opening ceremony.

Provided we can get air tickets. AirAsia refuses to let us book online for flights less than 24 hours away. And JetStar doesn’t have a Thursday flight. Damn them.

Nanny Wen will have to go personally to the AirAsia office after work tonight to check.

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Princess Academy

Princess Academy is an awesome book. I realised after reading it that it had won tons of prizes and awards.

It’s been a long time since an author has impressed me so much that I felt compelled to Google her because I want to read all her other books.

Princess Academy tells of a group of mountain girls recruited into the princess academy to learn how to become princesses. The palace priests had divined that the prince must marry someone from that mountain.

The girls get to prepare themselves for a year to impress the prince when he comes to choose.

Although the book is kind of written for teens and young adults, I think it can be enjoyed by all ages. The prose is beautifully written (it made me cry several times) and the plot twists are inventive and delightful.

I wish life could tie up as neatly as they do in books.

But I guess that’s why we’re addicted to books and movies. Cos that’s the only way we can experience beautiful neat lives.

An embarrassing purchase

Still in the spirit of nostalgia, I did something mildly embarrassing last night.

I went to Borders and bought three teenage novels.

Teenage novels

Well, in defence of my honour, I didn’t set out to buy these teen novels, or any teen novels, for the matter.

I was at Parkway Parade waiting for the Goonfather to show up for dinner. I had about 10 minutes to kill, so I decided to use a $20 Borders gift card which had been in my possession for 15 months. (I can’t even find a picture of the old card on the Internet anymore.)

Borders Gift Card

(To digress a bit, the reason I’d left the gift card sitting in my wallet for 15 months is because I seldom go to Borders; my bookstores of choice are Kinokuniya and Amazon. Plus the fact that $20 is, like, one book, which doesn’t exactly make me want to rush to the store immediately.)

I walked into Borders and checked out the “3 For 2” display shelves. They were filled to the brim with teenage novels.

Teenage novels

So, it’s not like it’s my fault I ended up with the books I did!

I browsed every title carefully, hoping to find an un-teenage novel hiding somewhere among the piles. And that was when I saw this book, which hit me with a thick blast of nostalgia.

Horror High - Toxic Beauty

I used to love reading teenage supernatural horror books. I even once tried writing one myself, when I was about 11. I didn’t get very far with that endeavour.

Smiling at the memory of my youthly folly, I turned the book over and read the blurb.

Starting a new school is hard enough, but Bethany has never felt more plain and ordinary. She’d give anything to be popular, beautiful and clever.

When a mysterious man offers to make all of Bethany’s wildest dreams come true, she jumps at the chance. But she doesn’t realize that beauty comes with a price…

Not exactly the most creative plot in the world but I love “deals with the devil” stories. I’ve always held a keen fascination for the occult and can’t get tired of reading all the different ways people get enticed by promises of fame, riches, talent and looks, never realising the doom that lurks before them.

On a whim, I decided to buy this book, even though it had all of 200 words in large fonts and double spacing, written in a language style that makes me and want roll my eyes and smile indulgently.

As I continued browsing, the next book hit me with its pinkness.

Princess Academy

It reminded me of The Princess Diaries, which I enjoyed maybe three books of and then outgrew before the further sequels were published.

Since I was in the mood to be nostalgic, I experienced a what-the-heck moment. Looking left and right furtively to make sure no one could see me trying to buy this childish pink book, I added it to the growing pile of embarrassment in my right hand.


One more book to find.

Because good things come in threes, and we must always be mindful of old, wise sayings, I didn’t doubt that the third book I was going to pick up would be a teenagely one.

Probably in anticipation of Halloween, the “3 For 2” shelves are now full of vampire books. Maybe, like many teenagers then and now, I used to wish a handsome vampire would bite me so I could rule the night with him eternally.


I kind of outgrew that some time back, but I recently watched Twilight and, suddenly, vampires became somewhat appealing again.

I considered buying the Twilight sequel, but watching the movie actually gave me heartache and I didn’t feel like dealing with heartache at the moment.

I picked this one, instead, the first in a series of currently four books.

Vampire Academy

Besides vampires and the occult, I also loved boarding school books. I practically read my Enid Blyton “The Naughtiest Girl in the School” series to death. Like about 20 times each.

Thinking about the books now gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

The Naughtiest Girl in the School

I love reading school stories. Doesn’t have to be boarding school. I guess I just love school. I hated growing up and not being able to go to school anymore.

I’ve always harboured this thought that, when I’m 50 or 60, I’d go back to university and learn all the things I still haven’t learned by then. It would be such a wondrous way to spend the rest of my life.

I was inspired to this thought by a charming granny who was in my Philosophy class at uni.


So, anyway, I bought the three books with a faint prickle on my cheeks (from embarrassment and, maybe, a bit of eager anticipation).

When the Goonfather arrived, I blamed him for making me spend money on stupid teenage novels. (After the $20 offset, I still had to pay $18. Freaking books are too expensive these days.)

The Goonfather gave me a WTF look as he always does when I blame him unreasonably.

And before I could extort money from him to cover for my impulse book purchases, I ended up paying for dinner ($76) because I had the right credit card to get a discount.


And all because I had played Sushido the night before and gotten a sushi craving.


But that’s another story, I guess.