How the Goonfather foiled a telemarketer for a makeover studio – Part 3

This is a stand-alone story and has no relation to the first two parts.

It’s just that the Goonfather keeps getting calls from makeover studios. I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE HAS BEEN LEAVING HIS PHONE NUMBER!!

I never ever get calls from makeover studios. Not that I want to.

Anyway, enjoy this short and sweet conversation!

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Telemarketer (female): Hi, is this Mr ____?

The Goonfather: Yes.

Telemarketer: Hi Mr ____. I’m Janice*, calling from a makeover studio and would like to invite you to our studio.

The Goonfather: Janice, is it? You want me to go to your studio?

Telemarketer: Yes, we’re offering you a free makeover and photoshoot.

The Goonfather: Hmm, I see. Okay, how about this. I would like to invite you to have dinner with me tonight.

Telemarketer: Huh?

The Goonfather: I’m offering you a free dinner. Would you like to come?

Telemarketer: Er… *nervous laugh*… no thanks.

The Goonfather: Like that cannot leh. If you can’t accept my invitation to dinner, how can I accept your invitation to your studio?


How the Goonfather foiled a telemarketer for a makeover studio – Part 2

This story isn’t related to the first one. It’s a separate call from a separate makeover studio and it happened quite a while ago…

Telemarketer (female): Good afternoon, can I speak to Mr ____?

The Goonfather: Yea, wassup?

Telemarketer: Hi Mr ____. I’m calling from Naughty by Nature, a makeover studio. We would like to offer you a free photoshoot.

The Goonfather: Mmmm… Naughty by Nature?

Telemarketer: Yes, we’re a newly opened studio.

The Goonfather: Okay. So, when would you like me to come down?

Telemarketer: How about the day after tomorrow? We have available slots for then.

The Goonfather: What?!? So fast? I need to go gym and do some workout first. My body not ready to be shot.

Telemarketer: Haha…

The Goonfather: So, is it a solo shoot or do I have a partner?

Telemarketer: It is up to you, sir. You could bring a partner if you like.

The Goonfather: But I don’t have a partner. Do you have models to pose with me?

Telemarketer: Er… no.

The Goonfather: Hmmm. It would be nice to have a hot female model to do this shoot with me, so I won’t feel cold alone.

Telemarketer: Er…?

The Goonfather: Is the photographer male or female? Cos I don’t think I am comfortable being naked and doing suggestive poses in front of a male photographer.

Telemarketer: Huh? You don’t have to be naked.

The Goonfather: What? But you said your studio is called Naughty by Nature, right?

Telemarketer: Oh, haha. It’s just a name. We’re not doing that kind of shoot.

The Goonfather: Hmm… then you’re the same as the last 10 studios that called me, which I normally hang up by the second sentence. So, tell me something.

Telemarketer: Huh? Like?

The Goonfather: Anything lah. Maybe about this photoshoot you’re offering.

Telemarketer: Oh, okay. This photoshoot is free of charge.

The Goonfather: Okay. Please leave me a message after the *toot*!


The Goonfather’s prank

The Goonfather played a prank on me earlier when I was showering. He turned off the bathroom lights.

Since it’s the middle of the night, the bathroom turned pitch dark. I hollered at him and he turned it back on after two seconds.

When I came out of the bathroom, I jumped on him and yelled into his ear, “Chao ah beng! You turn off my light!!!”

Wearing an innocent face, he looked straight at me with big, wet puppy eyes and said, “Never. That was a solar eclipse.”

Nanny Wen’s prank backfired (as usual)

Nanny Wen is always playing silly pranks, but they always backfire.

The other day, we were meeting the rest of our friends for a movie. I picked her up from her home, then we drove on to pick The Goonfather up from work.

While waiting for the Goonfather to come down from his office, Nanny Wen decided to hide on the floor of the backseat to surprise the Goonfather.

I said, “Oh yeah. He totally won’t be able to see you, like that.”

“Eeeeeee!” she yelped, “Hide me, hide me! Use your jacket!”

So I threw my windbreaker over her body.

“Can see me now? Can see me now???”

“Yes, I can see your head.”

“Cover meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!”

So I sat Mushroom on her head.

“Can see me now? Can see me now???”



“Yup, it’s perfect. The Goonfather is not going to notice a strange heap on his backseat.”

Then the Goonfather came. I got off the driver’s seat to let him take the wheel. Now, his habit is to toss his PSP on the backseat the moment he gets into the car.

He turned and looked at the backseat for two seconds, expressionless, and then he gently placed his PSP on top of the windbreaker covering Nanny Wen.

Nanny Wen was keeping very still and quiet at this moment. Her plan was to hide throughout the entire ride and then only spring out when we reach VivoCity to give the Goonfather a great big shock.

After placing his PSP, he turned back to the front and started to adjust the mirror and seat.

And then, he said to no one in particular, “Just make sure my PSP doesn’t fall off.”

With that, Nanny Wen burst out of the windbreaker, red-faced and giggling like there was no tomorrow.

“How come you know I’m there!!!!!” she shrieked, all the while laughing like a maniac.

“Got a funny pile on my backseat, who else could it be?”

“Booooooooo!” said Nanny Wen.

The Goonfather never falls for her silly pranks. But I’ll bet she’s already dreaming up the next prank.

Stay tuned!