GGF#4: Bimbo, babes, barbarian

[Gamer Girl Friday]

Gamer Girl Friday is busy being an actress this whole week, so have had less time to devote to this week’s column.

If you find it in any way lacking, please divert all your complaints to the Goonfather. I asked him to help me do some research and give me some topics to write about, but he played the busy card.

Yeah, he’s busy alright. He’s busy every night playing Ninja Gaiden II and Pixel Junk Monsters and Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune (freaking old game!).

Men!

Gamers!!

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Table of Contents

  1. Sheylara plays Ninja Gaiden II
  2. Play Guitar Hero III right here right now!
  3. The babes of Metal Gear Solid 4
  4. Adventures of Sheylara the Barbarian Part III
  5. Dragon Ball Z Burst Limit a surprise hit
  6. Winner of Ninja Gaiden II contest
  7. Winner of Grand Theft Auto IV contest
  8. Ask Sheylara
  9. Win a 1GB thumb drive!!

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Sheylara plays Ninja Gaiden II

Bimbo alert!

I’m really sorry. I very suck at action fighter games. Well, we can’t all be good at everything.

I hardly ever play this genre of games and I didn’t even know who Ryu Hayabusa was prior to my involvement with the recent NG2 Xbox 360 launch campaign.

Just be warned that I will be very painful to watch.

(Before you go on, please check your own IC. If you’re under 18, you’re not allowed to watch it because it’s a violent game!)

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Play Guitar Hero III right here right now!

Wear out your keyboard on this Guitar Hero III widget! It has only three songs, but it’s fun enough. Play it here!

Apparently, if you stay in the top ten leaderboard, you can win prizes from Rocket XL and Activision.

Not for me. On my second try on Easy mode, I only got like 75,000 points. The current highest legal score is 657,987. WTF? (I think the top three are illegal because their scores are like 999999999999.)

Well, I’m not playing anymore because I’d rather play the real GH3. Then again, if I had the time, I’d rather play Rock Band… until Guitar Hero World Tour comes out!

OMG I seriously can’t wait for GHWT!!

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The babes of Metal Gear Solid 4

Well, the Goonfather not only didn’t help me do research for interesting stuff to talk about, he forced me to talk about Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriot (what a mouthful).

He said, “You must write about it! It’s… it’s… well, it’s Metal Gear Solid!!!”

Yeah, like I care.

Well, ok. I have to admit that, although I only started becoming a console gamer last year (largely because of Wii and Guitar Hero and Rock Band), I have seen the previous installments of MGS and I really enjoyed watching people play it.

I prefer watching rather than playing myself because the game goes faster that way. If you’ve watched my NG2 video (above) till the end, you’ll know what I mean.

Anyway, one of the most interesting things about MGS4 are the beauties. Auditions were held around the world to seek the most beautiful women to serve as models for MGS4 characters.

I’m jealous. I want to be a game character, too.


Lyndall Jarvis, a famous USA model who has modelled for brands such as Guess and Bebe.


Scarlett Chorvat, a Hollywood actress and fashion model, last seen in Entourage and 24.


Yumi Kikuchi, a multi-talented Japanese artiste who can be seen in Godzilla: Final Wars.


Mieko Rye, a USA fashion model whose Maxim swimsuit spread has slain many a man.

Well, you’ll be seeing these faces in-game soon! MGS4 releases in like less than a week!

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Adventures of Sheylara the Barbarian Pt III

Read Part 1 | Part 2

Sheylara couldn’t wait to get into the city of Tortage now that she’s got her hair done and all.

[The Barbarian Dream]

As the kind-hearted and innocent barbarian girl walked towards the city gates, she chattered excitedly to her friend, Casilda, “What shall we do first thing we get inside?”

Casilda turned evasive, like she’d done when they’d been ambushed earlier. “Um… we’ll see.”

Not noticing because she was so excited, Sheylara continued, “Well, of course, I will want a cream soda first.”

The girls stopped right in front of the gates, where they were met by an imposing man wearing a huge question mark above his head.

[He wondered why he suffered a headache all the time]

He was busy barking orders at a quivering soldier but he spotted the girls and yelled, “Halt! Who goes there!” giving Sheylara an awful fright.

Casilda giggled. “Aww, sweetie Laranga, it’s me. I love when you exert your authority!”

Laranga’s eyes softened. “Yer all right, gal. Go on in.”

As Casilda went through the gates, Sheylara tried to follow.

She was stopped.

[You couldn't see into his eyes]

“Not so fast. Where do you think you’re going, delinquent?”

“I…” began Sheylara.

Casilda giggled and winked at Sheylara. “See you on the inside, babe!” And then she disappeared into the city.

[It was an abrupt farewell]

“But…” repeated Sheylara, flustered.

“All delinquents must prove their worth before being let in!” boomed Laranga.

“But…” Sheylara attempted again.

“The blacksmith needs help. Go to him.”

He gestured vaguely at a direction before returning his attention to the still quivering soldier.

[It was futile]

Disappointed and confused, muttering curses at Casilda, Sheylara trudged wearily away.

Before long, she came upon a scary-looking man with black stripes on his face.

[How's the weather today, mate?]

He was just standing there, not doing anything much.

In his hand was a hammer but Sheylara couldn’t see an anvil anywhere in sight.

“Excuse me,” said Sheylara. “That man over there said you needed help?”

“Right,” said the blacksmith. “You go through there, wind ’round the lake a bit, cross a bridge, get past a couple nasty pirates (you might haveta kill ’em), there’s some bricks them pirates have stolen. Get ’em for me.”

Sheylara gaped at him, confused. “You want me to fetch you bricks?”

[It was a confusing time for her]

“Them’s the orders, miss.”

“Kill pirates?”

“Them’s the orders, miss.”

“But you’re just standing here doing nothing!”

“Them’s the orders, miss.”

“But…”

But the blacksmith had turned into stone and just stood there impassively, waiting for his next showtime.

[He was going for the statue championship title]

Indignant but not having a choice, Sheylara went off to do as she was told. Night was looming and she didn’t want to have to sleep out in the open.

(To be continued next week…)

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Dragon Ball Z Burst Limit a surprise hit

Well, it’s a surprise to me, anyway. The game is supposed to release next Tuesday and I haven’t heard anyone talk about it.

Nobody I know ever talks about Dragon Ball games. Nobody I know ever plays them.

But what’s remarkable is that I posted a video clip of the gameplay two months ago on YouTube and I’ve gotten over 100,000 views, 285 comments and 109 favourites for just that little pixelated clip.

I’ve also gotten at least two pirates stealing my clip and reposting it on YouTube as their own. (That’s why I watermark all my videos now.)

Here’s the clip!

I do like Dragon Ball but more specifically the manga. I love it! I just can’t quite get into the movies and the games. The anime is alright, but the manga pure owns.

So, what do you think? Do you know anyone who is buying or planning to buy Dragon Ball Z Burst Limit?

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Winner of Ninja Gaiden II contest

As part of last week’s contest, I got readers to share interesting or funny gaming encounters they’ve had.

A lucky draw was conducted to pick a winner.

The lucky winner is Aves! He went home with a brand new Ninja Gaiden II box (kindly sponsored by the Xbox 360 team in Singapore) on official launch day, no less!

[Congratulations!]

Here is Aves’ winning entry:

When playing Team Deathmatch in COD4, we often need to tell our team mates the locations of the enemy. So one fine day, when playing in the Chinatown map from the latest map pack, our dearest Smoe starts telling us that the enemy is in the MUSHROOM SHOP. This went on for a few weeks without anyone ever knowing where the heck the mushroom shop is at.

Finally, we all couldn’t take it and we created a private match. Asked everyone to cease-fire and made Smoe lead us to the Mushroom shop. So everyone gathered at the main road in Chinatown and Smoe led us into a house and started showing us the mushrooms…

Upon first look, I saw that those were fishes and furthermore, there were lobsters beside those fishes so I was pretty sure.

Me: WTF, these are fishes la!!!!
Smoe: Oops ok, these are fishes. The mushrooms are here!

*brings us to the room next door*

Me: OMG!! These are mussels! -_-”””””””

I proceeded to bring Smoe outside the shop and showed him the signboard stating:

KAR PG CO (large fonts)
Fish Market (small fonts)

From then on, we all call the place the mushroom shop even though we know it’s a fish market.

For those interested in knowing where the mushroom shop is, check out this link.

Moral of the story: Read signboards

Thank you, Aves, and congratulations! How’s Ninja Gaiden II so far, eh? ;)

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Winner of Grand Theft Auto IV contest

It’s modchip!!!!!!

*streamers* *clickers* *balloons* *poppers*

Well, modchip doesn’t live in Singapore, so I couldn’t hand him the prize personally. So, I’ll have to mail it to him!

modchip wins a copy of GTA4 for the Xbox 360 for taking part in the “Review Gamer Girl Friday” contest.

I had tasked readers to write a review of my column. Best review wins.

I think all entries were really good and I wish I could award everyone a prize. But I finally picked modchip’s entry because it’s evident that he spent a lot of time on the screenshots, which he collaged into a nice overall image of Gamer Girl Friday!

[Congratulations!]
Click to read his entry

Thank you and congratulations! Your prize will be mailed to you soon!

I would also like to make special mention of some of the entries that I really liked but I unfortunately don’t have more than one prize to give out.

-=}{oT~dEv1L 666=- wrote a really long and flattering entry (although he is underaged and therefore not eligible for the contest, lol).

Junhao offered some constructive opinions.

aigatdula gave me some useful suggestions.

Thank you all, guys! I hope you will win something in my future contests! ;)

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Ask Sheylara

Ask me any gaming-related questions! Post them in the comments or e-mail me, I don’t really care. I will try to answer all questions (unless I get like 500 questions a day).

Hun Boon asks a Rock Band question:

Can you use the guitar from Guitar Hero 3 for Rock Band?

Sheylara Says:

It depends on which console you’re playing on.

On the PS3, the GH and RB guitars are not compatible with each other.

On the Xbox 360, you can use GH guitars on RB, but not the other way round.

Gamespot has a useful guitar compatibility chart if you need to know the details.

On a side note, Rock Band is still not available for the Asian region code Xbox 360 and there is still no ETA. We’ve become thumb-twiddling experts.

fanatic86 asks an Age of Conan question:

Sheylara, may I know what server and guild you’re in on AoC? How about coming to Gwahlur to join us? There’s a big Singaporean guild here and it’s very fun.

Sheylara Says:

I’m in Old Timers Guild in Thog, which has many Singaporeans, too. But I do also know many people in Gwahlur. It’s just that I chose Thog because I hate PvP. :P

But, anyway, I really hardly have time to play AoC now. I am still at level 10!!!! All the same, thanks for the invitation. Maybe I’ll create a character in Gwahlur when I have a bit of time, just to say hi! ;)

rajiv asks a Wii question:

I got a Japanese Wii and I set up the Internet using your translater. Now, when I click on the Wii shop, it says something in Japanese and the only button there is is to go back to the main menu. I cannot access Wii shop.

Sheylara Says:

Sorry, but I can’t help you unless I know what the page says! Next time, send me a screenshot and I’ll see if I can help.

Well, I’m not getting 500 questions a day, which is actually a good thing because, otherwise, my e-mail would bust, along with the capillaries in my brain.

But keep those questions coming! Let’s see some funny questions, too, because I’m tired of answering serious questions. Haha.

Hmm. Maybe I will make that this week’s contest.

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Win a 1GB thumb drive!!

I’m tired of giving away games, so here’s something different for a change.

How about a thumb drive? I’ve got a snazzy looking Nokia N-Gage thumb drive which comes with a lanyard!

[Win me!]

[Win me!]

One could never have too many thumbdrives, I always say. I used to have a sleek Sony one, but it stopped working only after a few months. Sad!

Okay, the rules this week!

  • Ask me an interesting or funny question (doesn’t have to be but preferably gaming related).
  • You can post here or e-mail me.
  • You can use a pseudonym if you wish.
  • My favourite question wins the prize!

There is no closing date for questions, of course, but I’m awarding the thumb drive next Friday, so if your question comes after that, well, that’s that, then.

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I hope you enjoyed this week’s Gamer Girl Friday!

I have to take my leave now because today I’m also Actress Girl Friday and I’ve got to rush off to NAFA for my performance tonight.

Please be liberal with your comments and suggestions because Gamer Girl Friday needs your feedback to get better!

Have an awesome weekend!

[Gamer Girl Friday]

Pirates of the Burning Sea review

I finally managed to play Pirates of the Burning Sea last night, after four days of not being able to touch it since installing it. Well, I only had a few hours to play but I’ve got some first impressions.

There are only three things I like about it.

  1. The costumes.
  2. The music.
  3. The poses.

That’s it. Pretty lame things to like about a game. Haha.

The costumes are pretty and authentic and very customisable, with many choices for mixing and matching, and a huge colour palette to dye your clothes.

I chose a black-and-red theme. Yes, very safe and boring, and probably the choice of colour for 80% of the Pirates population. But you can’t deny it looks good and that’s all that matters.

Meet Sheylara Scarlett, my pirate, captain of her own ship (albeit a lousy newbie ship):

I love how I can wear sexy cleavage-revealing clothes in MMORPGs.

I would have gone for a pink-and-white theme but the pastels in the game are dodgy and they all end up looking a pale dirty yellow, somehow.

The music is fantastic. You feel like you’re in your own Pirates of the Caribbean movie. There’s piratey carnival music when you’re gallivanting about town, and there’s piratey battle music when you’re battling. Cool.

And the poses. By that, I mean the way the avatar stands when it’s stationery. There are like five or so different positions which your character assumes randomly.

Other than all that, the game is more frustrating than fun. For me, at least. (There are certainly no lack of PotBS fans raving about the game.)

Some of the things I don’t like:

  1. The tutorials are stupid and redundant because they don’t teach you shit.
  2. You can’t jump in the game. I’m so used to jumping in MMORPGs that I feel crippled not being able to do it.
  3. There’s no tailoring! I can’t make clothes! (I’m always a tailor in MMORPGs.)
  4. The learning curve is very steep and the poorly-designed tutorials certainly don’t help.
  5. The UI is laggy. Like when you mouseover something, the tooltip takes two seconds to appear. Or when you try to change your ship’s weapon with a right-click, your mouseover doesn’t highlight until 50 years later, by which time your ship has already been sunk by the enemy and your loot plundered and your crew raped.

The game is really very hard to excel in, with lots of strategising if you want to rule the seas.

At this point of time, I have trouble even telling the stern and the bow, or the port and the starboard, apart. I certainly don’t have time to worry about picking the right ship, picking the right weapons, choosing the right side to shoot at and shoot from, taking advantage of the wind direction to out-manoeuvre the enemy, while at the same time making sure your crew doesn’t drink up all the rum before the battle is over.

And I haven’t even started talking about the economy aspect of the game. Building warehouses and factories, harvesting raw materials to produce goods you can sell to other players for a tidy profit, doing it without getting yourself killed because you have to visit enemy ports to get stuff that you need.

OMG.

This is a game for people who have too much time on their hands.

Not me.

I have like maybe two hours a week. Just enough time to sit in the tavern and listen to the bartender wax lyrical over the new wench in town.

I suppose the game concept is pretty cool. I just don’t have time to get into the thick of things. So I’m just gonna log in when I can, try not to die too much and live off the generosity of my guildmates, assuming I get into a guild (called Society in PotBS) soonish.

In the meantime, I’m a clueless lass pretending to be a captain.

Sheylara Scarlett plays on Antigua.