I love pain

Last Friday, I submitted my first food log to Eric Goh, my trainer at California Fitness.

Food log

He came back saying, “And why is your breakfast at 3 pm??”

Actually, 3 pm is considered early for me. I usually have “breakfast” between 4 pm and 8 pm, depending on how busy I am.

He also said:

  • Cut down on carbs after 6:30 pm.
  • Cut all fried food. (!!!!!!! x 100,000)
  • Dinner should be lighter than breakfast.
  • Take clear soupy food if you must eat at a crazy hour like after midnight.

All very noble aspirations for me to strive for. I have to constantly chant the mantras of my favourite sports brands.

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!

JUST DO IT!

That kinda helps a bit… until someone walks past me with a box of steaming hot KFC an hour after I get off from an exhausting gym session and I’m starving.

But I am proud to announce that I haven’t eaten a single bit of fried food for two whole days now.

Not two seconds. Not two minutes. That’s TWO WHOLE DAYS. Thank you for the applause.

Training at the gym
Eric attempts to convince me that being strapped to a machine resembling a torture rack and hanging by my arms like that is good for me.

By the way, the photos I’m showing today are of the same batch from my first session.

There’s some red tape involved in getting approval to take photos in the gym, so I won’t be able to do it too often.

Well, the plus point of having a personal trainer (even a sadistic one) is having someone show you the proper way to use an exercise equipment so you don’t hurt yourself or train your muscles the wrong way or something like that.

Training at the gym

And even if you know how to train properly, a trainer will keep you from cheating.

Training at the gym
Trying to cheat but failing because of evil trainer’s eagle eyes.

After two insane sessions, my body is still taking it well.

I’m still able to type, at least.

But if I try to do more than type, for instance if I try to make the bed, my arms will call 999 and report me for attempted murder.

Buying Tramadol in a regular pharmacy is problematic, especially if you don’t have a valid prescription. To save time and effort, I buy the tablets on https://ringandfitness.com/meds/tramadol/. I can place an order on the website in a couple of clicks and make an e-payment. It guarantees privacy, which is important for me. Besides, I like that the delivery takes a day or two.

Training at the gym

Stretching after each muscle group workout is very important.

Training at the gym

It gives you an excuse to escape doing more reps.

Just tell your trainer, “Wait, wait! I need to stretch some more!”

Before you know it, your hour will be up.

Then your trainer will dump you on an elliptical and make you climb-on-the-spot for 20 minutes maintaining an RPM of about 353,729, while he goes off to think up more evil things to inflict upon you for the next session.

Training at the gym

Whee. I can’t wait.

I have invented a third mantra to help me get through the next two months:

I LOVE PAIN

Finding out how old my body is

After two years of not having an exercise routine (if you don’t count Rock Band and You’re in the Movies as exercise) I’m finally back in business to torture my body.

I was issued a challenge recently: The California Fitness BodyAge™ Challenge.

California Fitness

In two months, I will have to reduce my body age as much as possible, in competition with other bloggers, although I don’t know at this point who my competitors are.

I will be given 16 complimentary personal training sessions to help me achieve my fitness goals. Awesomeness!

Before the training started, we had to do a BodyAge™ test and a body composition analysis.

California Fitness

The BodyAge™ test required me to do some simple exercises such as crunches and stretching, while my heart rate was being measured, to determine my body age.

Let’s just say that I am not going to reveal my body age because it’s embarrassing.

The body composition analysis was quite amazing. It’s this machine I have to stand on while I hold onto the handlebars. And nothing else.

California Fitness

Eric Goh, my personal trainer, chatted with me while I stood there and before I knew what was happening, he was, like, “Okay, you’re done.”

The amazing part is that, without me having to do anything, the machine calculated everything about me, including what my favourite food is.

Okay, not exactly. What it basically told me was the percentage of water, minerals, muscle and fat in my body.

California Fitness

And then it told me exactly how strong my arms are. It told me my left arm is stronger than my right arm and my right leg is stronger than my left leg. It told me that my tummy is the weakest of all.

What the…?!

I just cannot comprehend how a machine is able to tell all that by just having me stand there and chat with my personal trainer.

Anyway, training was tough. Eric is a slave driver. He will chat with you while you’re doing the exercises, to keep you distracted so that you lose count and end up doing extra reps.

California Fitness

He will also push you beyond your endurance.

California Fitness

What evil thing is he writing about me?!!

California Fitness

Then again, I suppose PTs are paid to be sadistic, so he was doing a fine job. Haha.

But, seriously. I really enjoyed the session today. We worked on my arms, abs and thighs, resulting in me turning into a quivering mass of jelly.

California Fitness

After our session ended, Eric gave me homework.

!!!

I’m supposed to write down everything I eat and e-mail it to him daily.

!!!!!

Oh, no. He’s going to faint when I submit my first report.

To be continued!

California Fitness
Post-workout dishevelment.