Xiaxue and Paris Hilton both want a new BFF

Reality TV is getting ridiculous. lol.

I mean, Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire (2000) kinda amazed me.

[Tragic happiness]

I only watched one episode of it out of curiosity because I generally don’t have time to watch TV.

Predictably, the marriage resulting from the show didn’t work out. It’s kinda absurd, anyway, to think that one can find a soulmate through auditions.

While fans recovered from the disappointment of a failed match made in heaven (an oxymoron), no one thought to do another show like that.

Until Paris Hilton.

Three months ago, I don’t know whether it was her own idea or whether it was MTV’s idea, the announcment was made to find Paris Hilton a new BFF (best friends forever), yes, via reality TV!

[Poor little rich girl]

Three days ago, celebrity blogger Xiaxue decided that she also wants a new BFF, so she’s gone and done a Paris Hilton.

She’s even set out a questionnaire for hopefuls to fill in. Check it out. It’s kinda hilarious and I had half a mind to apply for the “job” myself because I thought answering the questions would be amusing.

Ok, maybe only a quarter of a mind. I’ve been auditioning for acting jobs all my life. I don’t want to have to audition for a best friend, too!

Not for Xiaxue, anyway.

Not that she’s not cool or anything. I mean, having her as a BFF would be quite entertaining at times.

But I don’t like going sun tanning and she doesn’t MMORPG, so we’d probably hate hanging out with each other.

Back to the subject of reality TV.

I think reality TV will always appeal to the voyeur and the curious in all of us. The more absurd an idea is, the more people will turn up to watch it.

But, seriously, how good a friend can you get from a bunch of people signing up to be your best friend only because they feel that they can get something out of it?

The show is an oxymoron.

If I were ever to hold a contest like that, I would be extremely wary of the people joining the contest, which defeats the purpose of the contest! Haha.

Can’t say I’m not jealous, though. I want a BFF too! But finding a BFF, I must say, is infinitely more challenging than finding a marriage partner.

I’ve been betrayed by females much more than I have by males. It’s just ridiculous.

I’m tempted to go into a spiel about human nature and loyalty and betrayal, but I need to rush off for drums practice now so I can’t write anymore.

Perhaps you can write it for me. lol. Catch ya later in the comments! ;)

Money is dirty

Stupid conversation between the Goonfather and myself.

We were in the car, driving out to dinner, when he asked for a piece of tissue paper. In my usual clumsy way, I accidentally pulled out two pieces instead of one. I blamed him because it’s fun to blame the Goonfather.

“See lah!! You made me pull out two pieces!” I said.

Of course, blaming people doesn’t solve problems, so I considered my options.

Use the extra piece myself? Don’t need it.

Stuff it back into the packet? Feels a bit unhygenic.

Make a tissue hat for the Goonfather to wear? Naaah.

My best solution, I decided, was to pass the problem on to the Goonfather. Haha!

“I’m going to put the extra piece in your pocket,” I said. “You can use it to wipe your mouth after dinner.”

But as I was about to stuff the tissue into his shirt pocket, I noticed that he had some dollar notes sitting inside.

“Argh, I can’t put the tissue in here. You have money inside.”

“What’s wrong with money in my pocket?”

“Money is dirty,” I informed him.

“…,” he said.

“If the tissue paper touches your money, it will become dirty, too.”

“Why is money dirty?” he wanted to know.

“Cos it gets passed around from person to person so you don’t know where it’s been. I’ve been taught since young to always wash my hands after handling money.”

The Goonfather was speechless for a moment, so I pressed on.

“If you rub the tissue and money together, then you wipe your mouth with the tissue, it’ll be like wiping your mouth with money. You wouldn’t wipe your mouth with money, would you?”

“I wouldn’t wipe my mouth with money because I couldn’t afford it,” the Goonfather said. “People say money is dirty because they can’t afford to use money as tissue paper.”

The conversation had taken a ridiculous turn and I didn’t even know what I was arguing anymore.

I said, “But even if you could afford to wipe your mouth with money, you wouldn’t!! Paris Hilton wouldn’t wipe her mouth with money.”

“That’s because money is too cheap for her to wipe her mouth with,” was his explanation.

“But it’s not a matter of price. Nobody, no matter how rich or how poor, will use money to wipe their mouths.”

“That’s because poor people can’t afford to and rich people can’t be bothered to.”

“But it’s not about money! It’s about hygiene. And practicality! Money isn’t even absorbent. Would you wipe your mouth with a gold bar?”

“I would if I had gold bars sitting around.”

“Why would you use gold bars to wipe your mouth when tissue paper is better?!”

“Because I can afford to.”

“How the hell do you even wipe your mouth with a gold bar in the first place?”

“I’ll mash it all over my face and lick it.”

“YOU ARE DAMN DISGUSTING!!”

I put the loose tissue paper into my bag, which was probably about as hygenic as putting it into the Goonfather’s pocket.

Finally, the tissue paper was used to soak up spilled water at the dinner table before we even started eating, much less encounter the need to wipe our mouths.

So, in the end, all that trouble was for nought.