The Goonfather’s pet orange

One night, the Goonfather was kept back in the office waiting for an important phone call.

He had nothing to do, so he decided to take Mr Orange out for a romp around the office desk.

Mr Orange wasn’t very happy about it because he had been happily snoozing in a basket together with other oranges.

So he stomped about crankily, as cranky as an orange could get.

Suddenly, he chanced upon a big orange, much bigger than he!

“I will keeeeel you!” shouted Mr Orange angrily, because Mr Orange was an angry sort of fella.

“Hrraaaaah!!” he cried as he set upon the innocent, unsuspecting orange.

The victim, although big, was harmless as a kitten. But not as cute. And definitely more delicious.

As most oranges are wont to do, it sat around helplessly as Mr Orange tore into it.

“Take that!” cried Mr Orange, as he pummelled and pulverised. “That’ll teach ya!!”


Finally appeased by the mess that he had just created, Mr Orange proudly admired his handiwork.

A short ringing sound burst through the air-conditioned air, filling every pocket of air.

“DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!” said the sound, almost making everyone deaf.

YOU HAVE LEVELED UP, said a voice via telepathy.

“Eh? Wot?” said Mr Orange. He kicked the orange corpse and unearthed a surprise item.

“WOAH! Rare drop!”

Longsword of Orange +2 Str +3 Agi +1 Sta

Oh no! Mr Orange is now armed!

What other terrors will he visit upon other unsuspecting perps next?!