Asian food: Misleading the English

I ate the strangest tasting rice last night. I never knew rice could taste so weird.

I know some of you are going to say, rice is rice, it all tastes the same. (It doesn’t, actually.)

But this ang moh rice I had last night was Really. Weird.




We bought it at the supermarket and cooked it in the rice cooker.

The grains are twice as big as the ones I’m used to. The taste is a bit smoky-bitter, a bit malty, with a funny aftertaste that reminds me of barley.

Maybe we should buy rice from the Asian supermarket next time, or maybe I should bring some from Singapore.

I had to densely populate my rice with crispy pork floss (which I’d brought from Singapore) to mask the funny taste.




So we essentially had pork floss rice for dinner. I also made a garlic omelete and that was not too bad.

In the bigger scheme of things, though, it makes me worry how ang mohs are buying weird-tasting fake Asian food at supermarkets and cooking them and eating them and maybe thinking that Asian food is funny.

There’s this Indian curry meal that Piers really likes, from the supermarket. It’s pre-cooked, so you just heat it up and make your own rice to go with it.


Chicken Tikka Masala


I think I should give that a try one day to check whether he’s been eating AND liking rubbish Asian food.

But I guess he’s okay. I’ve been to the Asian restaurants that he likes and they serve quite good food.

And I’m quite proud of him because his spicy tolerance is about as high as mine!




Anyway, the funny thing about Asian restaurants in England is that they are all confused.

You see signs outside restaurants making such proclamations:

Thai restaurant: We serve the best authentic Thai cuisine!

Chinese restaurant: We serve the best authentic Chinese cuisine!

Vietnamese restaurant: We serve the best authentic Vietnamese cuisine!



You walk into a Thai restaurant and you see on the menu… vegetable tempura.

You walk into a Chinese restaurant and you see… tom yam soup.

You walk into a Vietnamese restaurant and you see… chicken satay with peanut sauce.

It’s all mixed up.


Asian food


You could walk into one restaurant and see four different cuisines on the menu.

Not that it’s a bad thing. Quite nice having a buffet of different Asian cuisines. I just think it’s very misleading.

It’s false advertising and they confuse the ang mohs. Like, for example, many think that plum sauce and hoisin sauce are one and the same.

And what in the world is with Singapore noodles?

You see Singapore noodles in every country in the world EXCEPT Singapore.

How is it we know nothing about what is supposedly our noodles?

The first time I tried Singapore noodles was in Australia. It was disgusting and like nothing I’d ever eaten.

I brought from Singapore some of my favourite instant noodles. I think they’re better. :P


Instant noodles


Oh, sorry, I’m talking about food again.

I mean to stop blogging about food so much but can’t seem to help it because food is such a major part of our lives.

I’ll try and do something else next.

For today, I will sign off with this delicious New York cheesecake because I just ate it and it’s so good.


New York cheesecake


Hmm, I wonder if they eat this cheesecake in New York.

A picture paints a thousand calories

So, I’m going to be mean today and show you some of the calories I collected from my weekend KL trip.

1. Seafood Curry Noodles

Located in a quiet alley in the town of Segambut, this noodle outlet enjoys a thriving business selling seafood noodles in three flavours: curry, tom yam and clear.

Curry is the hot favourite and that’s what we’ve been craving to eat since our last triip there. It’s really the best curry noodles I’ve eaten. Not that I’ve eaten much to begin with. Haha.

Each bowl is so chock full of seafood (mussels, clams, big prawns and squid) that I wanted to donate some to the goonfather. But I didn’t because it was so delicious I had to finish the bowl even if I exploded doing it.

The curry soup is literally to die for!!!

2. Fried Chicken Claw

We had this as part of our dinner in a dirty street filled with small hawker stalls lining both sides.

The chicken claw is mostly a novelty, although it does taste quite good. I enjoyed the regular chicken parts more. The stall was quite popular, too, judging from the neverending queue.

3. Satay

The taste and quality of this satay is about on par with the best satay in Singapore but there are a few special things to add.

There’s a bigger variety. Besides chicken, beef and mutton, there’s also rabbit and venison. And beef tripe. And chicken heart and liver — my favourite!

A chilli oil sauce is available for adding to the regular peanut sauce (you can mix and match the quantity) to spice up the taste. It’s very spicy but very good.

The price is ridiculously low for such good food. It’s RM$0.60 per stick!! That’s like 25 Singapore cents, half the price of an average Singapore satay! The rabbit and venison are priced higher, at RM$1.20 and RM$1.30, respectively, but that’s still cheap!

The stall is located in a rest stop along the Kesas Highway and we have to drive a great distance to get there and back but it’s so worth it we do it every time we go to KL.

This time round, we ordered 60 sticks for three of us and almost died trying to finish it. I only managed to eat 15 sticks! Guess how many the Goonfather ate! Haha!

4. McDonald’s Grilled Chicken Foldover

We drove up to Genting Highlands to eat this. I know it’s crazy, but the Genting version tastes so much better than the Singapore version because the bread is more crispy and there are more vegetables. And the patty is juicier. Like how KFC tastes better in Malaysia than in Singapore. Sometimes we drive to Malaysia just to eat KFC.

5. Hong Kong Milk Tea

This isn’t food and I don’t really want to talk about the tea, except to say that it’s really good.

I actually want to highlight the ice. This was at a Hong Kong style cafe called Prince Cafe in Mid Valley City.

Each glass of iced milk tea comes with a giant chunk of frozen milk tea to keep your drink cold without diluting it. How I love that because I hate my drinks getting diluted by melting ice cubes.

It was a huge chunk, too. By the time I finished my meal and my drink, the chunk still hadn’t totally melted.

I think all cold drinks in the world should be served like that!

I hope you enjoyed helping me count my calories as much as I enjoyed consuming them. =)