nightmare

Nightmare after nightmare

- Sheylara 7 Comments

I didn’t sleep well last night.

Went to bed at 12:30 am, had a nightmare, and woke up two hours later.

 

Nightmare 1

In this nightmare, I kept getting thrown into a room with curvy floors that curved into a hole in the middle of the room. I would find myself sliding across the room, tipping over into the hole, spiralling down a funnel and free falling all the way down…

…and before I hit bottom and became slush, the dream would suddenly jump to the beginning where I get thrown into room, and the same thing would happen. The entire nightmare is hell on repeat mode. I slid and spiralled and fell uncontrollably, rinse and repeat, for goodness knew how long.

 

After waking up from that, I lay in bed for two hours, wide awake, trying to fall back asleep, unsucceeding.

So I got up, went online, did some reading.

Went back to bed at 6 am. Had another nightmare.

 

Nightmare 2

This time, someone’s stalking me, wanting to kill me, I can’t remember for what. So half the dream I’m running and hiding from him. This part is actually quite long, feels like a few hours in real time. I can still remember some of the details but I won’t bore you with them.

Finally, my hunter has me trapped in a corner so I decide to kill him before he kills me. I grab a sword and stab him in the stomach. He has a very sharp knife and he’s trying to cut me but somehow I manage to grab his hand, turn it around and stick the knife into his neck.

There’s no spurting blood in my dream but it’s really gory. He’s taking a long time to die so I use the knife and systematically slash him to shreds, making sure I cover every inch of him neatly. Which is just sick. But that was the only way he would die, in my dream.

 

The alarm woke me up at 9 am.

Horrible night much?

 

But I had a great day with my mystery date so the nightmares don’t traumatise me anymore.

I’m just very tired from sleep deprivation so I need to KIV the blog about my day. Will get to it after I have a good night’s sleep.

In the meantime, feel free to interpret my nightmares.

Murder in my blood

- Sheylara 9 Comments

Here’s a random archive post (bearing in mind that these archived posts are from my old blog, which I have deleted, so I’m repopulating this blog with them by publishing them randomly once in a while) because I don’t have time to blog today! Time flies like the wind and fruit flies like bananas!!!

The following post first appeared on Sheylara.com on April 26, 2004.

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I had a really weird dream last night which didn’t make sense. I know most dreams don’t make sense but this one is so f**ked-up crazy I hardly know how to describe it.

But because it’s f**ked-up crazy, I HAVE to tell it, so just try to understand it and don’t ask me any “why” or “how” questions because I don’t know the answers.

There’s this elevator and lots of people are using it to go downstairs. It’s a hot day, so I pour cold water into the elevator to cool it and the people in it.

Next thing, I’m at the bottom floor and the elevator door opens to reveal a glass tank the size and shape of the elevator.

The glass tank is filled to the brim with water and there are dead people inside.

Drowned by the water I poured in.

Water which was supposed to drain off but didn’t!!!

It’s a horrible, horrible dream.

It happened twice, which means that I drowned two elevator loads of people.

I hate when I have weird, creepy dreams. Like that time I dreamt of a boyfriend trying to kill me so I had to kill him back but he didn’t die even after I chopped his head off.

Anyway, this elevator dream reminds me of an incident which happened when I was about seven years old, staying at a farm during my school holidays.

One day, I saw a chicken egg in the process of hatching. There was a hole in the egg with a beak poking through it, pecking at the egg shell in short, chicky spurts.

After watching in fascination for a while, I decided to help because I thought the chick was going to take forever to come out. So I prodded the egg gently with my foot, trying to crack it more.

What happened was I crushed the egg and killed the chick.

I was so horrified and ashamed that I ran away from the scene and never told anyone, ever. Until now, that is.

The dream I had last night gave me the same feeling.

Help turned to harm.

These sorts of things must happen a lot in the world, musn’t it? People, in trying to be helpful, cause harm instead.

Have you ever been in a situation when you felt like you were more a hindrance than help?

I think the world is just screwed up. You can’t do good anymore because you don’t know if the “good” you’re doing is going to create a ripple and make something bad happen.

But there’s no point getting all hot and bothered about it, is there? One doesn’t have a choice in being born, but one does have a choice in what to do about it.

It’s like falling into a well. You can do one of three things:

  1. Drown yourself and be done with it.
  2. Stay there and try to live for as long as you can by drinking the water in the well.
  3. Try to climb up or get help. If you get someone to help you, you might cause them to fall into the well and suffer the same horrible fate as you, but that’s life. Or you might succeed in climbing up all by yourself. But then, so what?

I get really annoyed with life sometimes, but what can I do?

Anyways, I have a piece of semi good news so it’s not all doldrums.

You know the audition in which I acted as a seed? I got a callback! That means I’ve been shortlisted to attend a second audition, which means I’m closer to getting the job.

I’m happy because getting a callback means I’m not a total failure. But I’m stressed because callbacks are EVIL.

When you get a callback, success is so near you can taste it. There are usually two or three people fighting for the same role in a callback, so your chances are 1 in 2 or 1 in 3. And if you don’t get it, it’s twice the pain because you go to the audition thinking that there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get the job.

All I want to know is… If a god exists, why is he so sadistic?

(That was a rhetorical question.)

Games giving me nightmares?

- Sheylara 16 Comments

Oh, gawd.

[This post is rated M18 for violence. Please do not read it if you’re under 18. Thanks.]

I must have been talking and thinking about games too much.

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare in which I was getting hunted by a group of people for an unknown reason.

Fortunately, they were coming at me one at a time and I managed to get hold of two smallish knives, so I was able to kill them slowly.

They took so long to die, though. Like, one of them refused to die even after I cut her head almost in two. I totally hate dreams like that. Everything was so vivid and I could feel the steel biting into flesh. OMG TOTALLY GROSS.

And the worst thing is… after they died, they turned into zombies and, like, I had to kill them all over again!!

But now they were coming at me as a team and I decided it was gonna be the end of me, so I ran.

And then, somehow, I got into the kill radar of another group, and the second half of the dream was spent hiding and running and hiding and running.

No, I haven’t been playing too much games. I haven’t had time, remember? Not even on a weekend!

Gotta run off for an audition now, followed by a rehearsal, followed by hanging out with my friends.

I guess I’ve had a really trying week.

Make that year.

No, make that life.

lol.

Suffering an epic nightmare

- Sheylara 10 Comments

I’m actually too busy to blog today. Between moving house and my new editorial work and entertaining the Goonfather’s rubbish, I’m lucky I even have time to have nightmares.

But I don’t want people to get upset if I miss a day blogging, thinking that I’ve been abducted by aliens or something equally nuts. So, here’s a quickie!

Once in a while, when I’m stressed out, I get what I call epic nightmares. These involve a drama or adventure that play through my entire sleep and have themes of death and violence.

Like, there was this time I dreamt about being trapped in a haunted house with my friends. It took us forever to escape and we encountered endless horrible things in the process.

Or this other one about an ex-boyfriend trying to kill me so I had to kill him back but no matter how much I slashed at him, he refused to die.

Last night/this morning, my nightmare was about witnessing a group murder in broad daylight, in full view of hundreds of people, after which a revenge took place involving the attempted murder of the original murders’ instigator, after which I was made to witness gory interrogation sessions, during which I cried and cried to the point of exhaustion because I couldn’t stand seeing people get hurt, after which I became some kind of special agent sent to investigate the crimes.

The dream gripped me so tightly that I didn’t wake up until past 2 pm.

I had gone to bed around 4 am and set my alarm for 10 am. But when my alarm rang, I was so deep in the dream that I didn’t hear the snoozes till 11 am, and then I was so groggy and spaced out that I turned the alarm off and continued sleeping/dreaming.

I hate when this happens.

I’ll bet if I were still 16, my parents would ban me from playing video games. Haha. (But it’s not the games lah. I haven’t played a violent game in ages.)

Do you get epic nightmares, too?