The Goonfather wants me to micro-manage him

The Goonfather is the strangest man I’ve ever known.

He is the first (and possibly last) man I know who will complain when he doesn’t get nagged at.

“Why you never nag at me to [insert random command such as ‘Stop playing game, it’s bad for your eyes’]?”

I’d be, like, “Who the hell wants to be nagged at?”

He would say, “Me.”

“Huh???” I would retort.

“You must micro-manage me. It shows you care about me.”


I get this quite a lot because I do not nag, period. I am a firm believer of non naggage. I generally believe in letting people do what they want to do because I want to do what I want to do, myself.

Unless someone does something that severely compromises my comfort or safety or whatever, I’ll usually just leave him alone.

Once in a while, I will try to nag at him to make him happy.

“Go and study. If not you fail your test tomorrow.”

But it is so not in my nature to do such a thing, in fact, it is so against my nature to nag, that I often forget to do it. I find it hard to convince myself that he enjoys it.

So he ends up always nagging at me to nag at him.

I’m in the strangest relationship, ever.