Confusion of emotion

I am my usual tardy self again, of course.

After being away from the blogging scene for so long (I also stopped reading blogs), it’s hard to jump back into it.

But I decided to “blog in” today because I’m going away on a short holiday in 7 hours’ time, and it feels wrong to just leave without a word. A stupid thing to feel since all the world is connected by the Internet, but it’s psychological.

On the acting front, half of me is happy and half of me is sad. It’s strange when you get mixed feelings. You’re confused, you don’t know what to feel, and you get a bit crazy.

I was offered a very nice role, and then I lost it because they couldn’t pay my rate.

On the same day, I got another role, a fun role which I really wanted.

But the happiness is tampered by sadness.

And, on the other hand, the sadness is neutralised by the happiness.

In mathematical terms, this means I should feel nothing.

But emotions can’t be calculated in mathematical terms, so my brain short-circuits from the confusion.

It’s annoying when too many things happen at once. You don’t get to enjoy a situation exclusively because other things demand your attention.

Right now, my full attention has been violently seized by a sick, sadistic video clip I just watched after following a friend’s link in a forum (which I was browsing while blogging).

People should be banned from making sick videos AND linking them.


I shall attempt to distract myself from the evil grips of the video by MSN-ing everyone on my MSN contact list and singing the Elmo song very loudly (but taking care to turn off my microphone and webcam first).

Kidding. I don’t have a webcam.

I think I shall read a book.