gratitude

Journal – November 22-23

- Sheylara 1 Comment

Journal - November 22-23

 

Transcription

22 Thursday

Maybe running in 5 degrees Celcius temperature in a drizzle wasn’t the best idea. The next night, I felt a sudden throat irritation which bordered on pain by the following morning. That always meant one thing: a cold was sneaking up on me.

I had gotten up early this morning despite having only slept 4 hours because I had a C25K session to run. But I felt so fatigued and my throat hurt. I knew I had to take care or the virus would have me. So I took a Vitamin C tablet and went back to bed. Success! I only managed to sleep two more hours but I felt better and the throat stopped hurting.

23 Friday

What is it with ladybirds and curtains? I found one on our bedroom curtain this time. (The family of five are still living on the bathroom curtain.) I just read that the right thing to do is to put them outside but I feel bad exiling them!

Gratitude

I’m grateful for the rest day I was forced to take to fight a cold virus even though it ruins my C25K schedule!

Today I Learnt

British pork sausages used to be called Little Bags of Mystery because Victorians suspected the presence of horse meat. After WWI, fillers were used in them, causing them to hiss and pop when cooked, resulting in them being called bangers. I love Bangers, Beans & Mash, the song as well as the dish. Russell Brand is hilarious and the dish is easy to cook and tasty!

 

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Journal – November 15-17

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Journal - November 15-17

 

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15 Thursday

I have managed to last almost a whole month without acquiring any minor injuries. Cosmic forces are not happy, I think. Because it looks like they’ve decided to make up for the lack all at once!

Tue (AM): Small gouge on back of right hand from making the bed
Tue (PM): Small gouge on left index finger, cause unknown
Wed: 5mm cut on right middle finger, cause unknown
Thu: Big bruise on right foot from kicking table leg

16 Friday

I feel like we’ve been singled out by this shop on Just Eat. We started ordering from them a couple of months ago. Today there was a note on their page: “We do not do deliveries to cottages in the countryside without house numbers or clear direction.”

17 Saturday

Painting does not agree with me. No. It is a horrid job and I refuse to paint the rest of the house! My study is only a small room but it still took me two hours to tape up the skirting and the doorways. Because there are three freaking doorways in this tiny room! And then another 3.5 hours to paint one coat, including the radiator. Luckily, it looks like one coat is enough but NO MORE PAINTING HOUSES!!

Gratitude

But I learnt years ago to find gratitude within all of life’s trials, big or small, so here goes: I’m grateful to have a house to live in and a room of my own to work on my projects. I’m grateful that I have time to work on my projects. I’m grateful to be healthy enough to do things that I enjoy. Ah! So much to be grateful for!

 

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Journal – November 5-6

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Journal - Nov 5-6

 

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Piggyback

There has been no movement from the ladybirds in the bathroom since Oct 26 when Daddy Ted went for a day’s jaunt. The five are always on the same spot on the curtain in a cluster, most of the time facing each other in a circle as if they were petals around a flower. Tonight, though, I saw Mary (one of the babies) sitting on Ted, as if he were giving her a piggyback! How adorable is that?! When I went back to look an hour later, she was off his back and they were back in their regular cluster.

Couch to 5K

I have decided to do C25K, not out of any noble sense of purpose but because I had an empty space to fill in my habit tracker, lol. Nevertheless I shall feel proud that I took my first session today. It felt good afterwards!

Gratitude

I’m grateful for new toys to play with! Today’s post brought me 12 brush pens (more colours yay), 15 gelatos (something new for me to try) and 3 water brushes (also something new I hope I won’t be a complete mess at)!

Opposing Wishes

One of our big trees have turned beautifully red but all the rest remain green. There are some red ones in the lower garden but they’re small and can’t really be seen from my window. I said to Piers, “I wish we had more red trees and fewer evergreens.” His reply: “I wish all our trees were evergreens. Then I wouldn’t have so many leaves to rake!” I have no argument for that. Tsk. Beauty always has a price!

 

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Journal – November 3-4

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Journal - November 3-4

 

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Gratitude

I’m so grateful for my new Uniqlo Heattech t-shirts and leggings. They’re so comfy and warm! I wish I’d thought of buying them way earlier!

Forget

It’s the first anniversary of dad’s death today. I’ve always found it morbid to commemorate someone’s death. And isn’t it awfully sad to specifically remind yourself of a terrible loss? I guess people do it because they don’t want to forget their departed loved ones. But it’s not so easy to forget, is it? I don’t think I can ever forget the space he used to fill in our lives. I can’t ever forget the suffering he bravely endured for years. I can’t forget his smiles when he was happy. Why do I need a day to remember what I can’t forget?

Allergic

I bought a secondhand book last year that I haven’t been able to read because it triggers my dust and mould allergy. It’s “What Do I Do When I Want To Do Everything” and it’s out of print so I can’t get safe new copies. So I decided to photocopy it. OMG never again. It took me over 2 mind-numbing hours and a lot of muscle effort because of the stiff spine and it being bigger than the photocopy glass. This book has now cost me £30 including the photocopy ink and paper, and hours of allergies!

Timing

I’ve been doing daily walks for three months now without major health incidences https://newliferehabcenterpakistan.com/isotretinoin/, so I feel ready to take on Couch to 5K. Except it’s getting colder and more miserable by the day and I’ve been getting my daily steps indoors. But I can’t run indoors, so do I brave the cold or wait till spring?

 

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Journal – November 1-2

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Journal - November 1-2

 

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Life and Death

I dreamt that I tried to commit suicide. It surprised me because I haven’t felt suicidal recently. It’s also the first time I’ve dreamt such a thing and it weirds me out a bit. I’ve been feeling largely positive, even happy, the last few months, even though I never did stop being aware that there are unresolved issues and unfixable things that plague me.

Even in the glow of positivity and happiness, there is a stress that will never go away because life can never be the neat little package you want it to be. I don’t want to kill myself at the moment but I wouldn’t mind ceasing to exist.

In my dream, the attempt failed and I woke up feeling disappointed, both in the dream and in real life. Where do I go from here? I don’t know. Keep trying, die trying, to fix my life as well as I can. Look outside the window and focus on the good things.

Gratitude

I’m grateful for all the people in the world who make the world a better place with kindness, love and compassion.

Lifeguard

I will never stop being amazed at Piers’ superpower. We were at our pond and it’s pretty chaotic. Dragonflies flitting around, dead leaves and weeds and ripples on the surface, uneven muddy ground on the bottom. In the middle of that, he suddenly pointed out a tiny splashing that wouldn’t quit and said a dragonfly was drowning. It was far away in the middle of a really huge pond and I honestly couldn’t tell. But Piers saw it and managed to rescue it with a ridiculously long wooden beam that’s used to sweep pond weeds. Makes me speechless!

 

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