Inside the dressing room

There is no feeling in the world better than performing in front of a responsive live audience (well, with the exception of savouring a very tasty bbq chicken wing).

Gads, I shouldn’t have said that. Now I’m hungry.

I shall attempt to distract myself by…

Actually, I am very distracted today. I have been attempting to get this blogpost going since 40 minutes ago and I’m still at the fourth line now because I keep going away to FB chat and MSN chat and watch stupid YouTube videos that the silly people I’m chatting with keep linking to me.


Well, it’s a Saturday and I’m in quite a relaxed mood. I’m allowing myself a few hours to relax and ignore deadlines before I go bonkers.

And now, a photo to break the wall of text I’m unintentionally creating.

Dressing room!

[We love big bright light bulbs that blind us and heat up the room]

For this week’s performance, the dressing room is shared by about 12 actresses. (The guys get another room.) There are toilets and bathrooms and even a washing machine in here, which is nice.

It can get pretty crowded when everyone’s inside but, averagely, we have four or five in here at any given time because the rest are backstage standing by.

It can also get smelly. All kinds of smells I don’t really want to describe, including a raw meat smell because one of the props for one of the plays is a real raw chicken.

And it gets really noisy.

At all times, a monitor is feeding us footage from the stage while actresses are either busy making very loud and strange noises to warm up the vocals or busy chatting, though I don’t know how they can hear each other through that din.

Of course, there is also one actress busy camwhoring.

[She decided to take photo evidence of the mess]

That’s my costume. I think I look like a lawyer. Haha.

I know I don’t look ugly in that suit, like I have been accused of falsely advertising. But I haven’t shown you the hair and makeup yet!

Like I mentioned before, I’m acting as a rat.

Some of you might protest that rats don’t wear suits. Others of you who have a perverse sense of humour might agree that some rats wear suits.

That I leave entirely up to you.

And, now, the ratifying transformation.


[The whiskers want for some trimming]


Okay lah, it’s not that ugly. It’s more funny, I guess. It’s only ugly when I make those crazy expressions on stage.

Most people think I’m supposed to be a cat when they first see this. Well, short of attaching fake incisors, which would really impede my speech (and my character is one garrulous rat), I don’t know how I can make myself look more ratty than catty.

Doesn’t really matter. It all becomes clear in the play, anyway.

Smiley rat!

[He was lulled into a false sense of security]

Which won’t be seen in the performance because my character doesn’t smile and doesn’t act cute.

My character is a bitch.

And so fun to play.

Ah, acting can be so fun!

The downside to this makeup is that the black stuff used to draw my nose gets into my pores and, even after I clean it with four different kinds of cleansers, I still look like I have a bad case of blackheads. Haha. I think I have to go for a good, long facial after this is over.

And I have to wash my hair when I get home late each night because it’s all gelled stiff to make me look very severe.

Right profile:

[Being a statue is very tiring]

Left profile:

[The bright lights are very hypnotising]

Room profile:

[They were all terrified of her]

Intriguing, eh?

There are still three more performances to go. Ticketing details here if you’re interested.

The whole show actually runs for about 2.5 hours because some plays drag on longer than 10 minutes. Mine is the last play and I think it’s pretty much about 10 minutes!

Come watch and remember to bring your sense of humour! It’s always sweet for actors when their jokes get laughed at.

See you!

Bastard husband, lousy mother

I wore my pregnant suit out to breakfast.

It was Monday morning and The Goonfather was going to drive me to my shoot. Because there won’t be a dressing room at the back alley, I put on my costume at home.

During the drive there, the sky started to darken and I was informed the shoot would be delayed for a bit. I decided to go for breakfast with the Goonfather to wait it out.

We went to a hawker centre, where I had fried beehoon. But I only ate half of it because I didn’t want to overeat. (Toilets at the location are dirty.)

After breakfast, we walked out of the hawker centre. As usual, the Goonfather stopped just outside the building and took out his cigarettes.

“Hey, you can’t smoke here,” I said. (I’m always giving him grief over his smoking habit, so my protest wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.)

“Why not?” he asked perfunctorily.

“Because I’m pregnant.”

He froze midway as he was putting a cigarette in his mouth and stared at me, mouth open, speechless.

“You don’t want people to think you’re a bastard husband smoking in front of his pregnant wife.”

“Damn,” he said, momentarily stunned. Scratching his head unconsciously, he put his cigarette back into the pack.

One point for QY!

We started walking to the car.

“Can you don’t wear your costume out next time??” he complained.

“Hahaha,” I retorted.

Soon after, we reached the car. As we settled into our seats, he turned to me and said, “I may be a bastard husband, but you’re a lousy mother.”

“What?” I said.

“You didn’t finish your breakfast. People will think you’re starving your baby.”


One point for the Goonfather.

Oh, well, we can’t always win.

I don’t think I’d like being pregnant for real.

And, now, some random photos of the day’s shoot.

[Alexa and Nicolas]

[Eric frames a shot while Alexa takes a light reading off Louis]

[Shivani looks at the opposite wall pensively]

[Nicolas, Basil and Eric discussing a shot]

[Shivani and Basil take a breather while Louis takes a nap]

[Nicolas frames a shot with Basil sheltering Louis and the camera from the sun]

[Group photo!]

That was the last day of shoot, so there will be no more back alley pictures.

But there will be beach pictures next because I’m shooting the next short film with this same group of filmmakers. (Sorry, guys, no bikinis. It’s not that kinda film.)

Fish will be my co-actor. Yeah! Fish again!

Like Louis, Fish is my many-times co-actor. The three of us seem to cross paths a lot.

We had a rehearsal at East Coast Park today and we’ll be there for the next three days.

Filming takes place at the Lagoon Food Village. Wheeeeee, yummy food!

Who the hell wears toe socks?

First of all, why in the world would anyone buy and wear toe socks?

I was at a shoot last Friday. The wardrobe people gave me a pair of toe socks to wear with the canvas shoes they issued me (because I didn’t have my own socks).

Well, they were very sweet to give me brand new socks and all, but toe socks look damn hideous can?


It was my first time wearing toe socks, so maybe there’s a trick I’m not aware of, but both the socks were left-footed ones!! That’s why my right foot looks weird, big toe squeezed into little toe pocket and little toe dangling in big toe pocket.

No, I couldn’t flip it the other way because the bottom has that bulging segment for the heel. It’s like gloves, isn’t it? Each side is made for each hand/foot, and I had what looked like two left sides. They were still sealed when I got them.

But never mind the glitch. Even if I hadn’t gotten two left socks, I would still be of the fervent opinion that toe socks should be banned.

Let me list the reasons:

  1. They’re downright ugly.
  2. They’re unbearably uncomfortable. (Like got stuff stuck between your toes.)
  3. They make your feet bigger with all that extra material.
  4. They take too damn long to put on.
  5. They’re harder to flip over after washing cos you have to turn out each toe individually.
  6. They’re just plain stupid.
  7. Nobody wants to see your little toes nicely wrapped up in individual toe pockets!!

To make sure that I’m not weird, I asked a few people on my MSN this question: “What do you think of toe socks?”

And here are the responses:

“Yucks. Looks weird.” – Nanny Wen

“Stupid. Hahahahaha.” – The Goonfather

“Cute…. Seriously ugly but adorable.” – Anonymous

“Hygienic but uncomfortable if the toe size isn’t right.” – Chong

SEE?? No one likes them.

Even people who pretend to like them won’t wear them, as shown in this following conversation:

Qiaoyun says:
    What do you think of toe socks?
Swordplay says:
    cute lor
Qiaoyun says:
    it’s not cute. it’s ugly
Swordplay says:
    ok what
Swordplay says:
    but ppl wear it not to show off
Swordplay says:
    they wear it for protection one
Qiaoyun says:
    so you would wear them?
Swordplay says:
Qiaoyun says:
    why not?
Swordplay says:
    coz it is not me

See, nobody I know likes them or wears them. So why are toe socks still around? Every time I see them, the little hairs on my back stand. They’re so weird they’re beyond weird.

After my shoot, I threw the socks away. I kinda feel bad about it but what else could I have done? Given them away? Kept them as souvenirs? They weren’t even matching sides lor.

I hope I don’t ever have to wear them again.

I hope you don’t, too.

P.S. Apologies for the lack of updates over the weekend. I’ve been outrageously busy! But stay tuned because I’m back on schedule again!

Belated Halloween entry

I bought my Halloween costume in Hong Kong five months before Halloween. At that time, I didn’t know it was going to be my Halloween costume. I didn’t even know I was going to attend a Halloween party.

I bought it because it’s an outift combining three of my favourite influences: Gothic, Victorian and Japanese. Also because it’s really cheap in HK (compared to prices in Singapore).

Thank goodness for Halloween. I’d never have gotten a chance to wear it, otherwise.

I love laces and ribbons and crosses. I was so tempted to buy two or three of those outfits but I didn’t because I was trying to be practical.

Many people thought I was dressed as Emily, maybe because I was holding a cat dolly. I did consider going as Emily, but they don’t sell dresses like Emily wears.

So I went as a Gothic Lolita. Might as well, since I already have the costume sitting in my closet. I even have two bodyguards. Except that my bodyguards turned on me at the last minute. Some bodyguards! Bah!

Maybe they wanted to steal Sabbath.

Sabbath is the cat in my arms.

I was shopping for a Gothic handbag when I saw him sitting sadly (and dustily) on a shelf. He looked so cute and lost that I decided to buy him instead of a handbag. (I carried him while the Goonfather carried my barang barang in his pockets. Haha.)

Incidentally, Sabbath is one of Emily’s cats. That is, this kitty is an actual character in Emily’s strange family. If not for it being an actual Emily cat with a name of his own already, I would have named him Mr Cranky.

Doesn’t he look like a Mr Cranky to you?

Sabbath has a beanbag bottom so he can sit on a shelf or on someone’s head (see first picture).

Next picture: My favourite costume!

Luvphobia (I don’t know his real name, lol) with his Little Red Book in his commie pose! How cool is he?!

I didn’t do much at the party. Like I mentioned before, I’m a wallflower sort of person, so I just kinda hung around in the shadows. But I did grab Vincent for a photo (or two, or three, or ten – us actors can’t resist photo opportunites).

No, that’s a joke. It’s not true. It’s a stereotype. I was quite camera shy the whole night and only took photos with my closest friends and my favourite costumes. And Vincent had his crazy self-censor specs which I insisted he remove when taking pictures with me.

Oh, my other favourite was Ah 9’s ninija costume. I took a picture with him but because he’s all black, he blended into the pub’s dark background and didn’t show up in the picture. But you can see his costume at his blog.

This Halloween party was really cool because of all the costumes and games and rowdy drinking people, but I think I had more fun celebrating Halloween two years ago. There weren’t any fancy costumes but it was hilarious because we had pumpkin candles to murder and we bought icky body parts candy to give away to the pub’s staff and regulars.

And I didn’t have to be a wallflower because it wasn’t, like, a real party; it was just a regular outing to a pub with my friends.

Last year’s Halloween was celebrated together with Rena’s birthday. We had a barbeque and a surprise birthday party for her at home with Halloween decorations.

Halloween is cool. But what’s more cool is having friends who are crazy enough to celebrate a crazy festival with you.

I love my friends.