The Goonfather forced a $400 present on me

The Goonfather has done it again. He has started another expensive hobby within our group.

Club Morte

It started with him being jealous of me going jogging at the beach weekend mornings. He wanted to go with me because he loves the beach.

But he doesn’t like jogging. So he decided that he would cycle, instead.

Within a fortnight, he went and bought a bicycle which he claimed cost him $150 but I suspect is probably more like $1,000. And that’s not including several hundred dollars in vanity parts.

The Goonfather's bike

But it’s a good thing. We go to the beach together, do our separate thing, then meet up for breakfast an hour later. Great way to spend a Saturday morning!

Next thing you know, everyone in our group wants to cycle, too.

Except me. I hate cycling.

The Goonfather tried to tempt me by showing me pictures of pink bikes.

Potential Sheylara bike

I like the idea of owning a pink bike, but I won’t ride it! I just don’t like cycling.

Then he tried to tempt me into going back to inline skating.

I used to love inline skating but I don’t have skates anymore and I have no interest in spending $400 on a pair of good skates at this point of time in my life.

Plus, the type of skating I like to do is health hazardous, which is not a good idea.

Aggressive inline skating
Photo by mordoc.

Desperate for me to buy skates for some reason I can’t comprehend, the Goonfather even offered to pay for my skates.

He visited bike and skate shops a lot that week, and each time he came home, he would excitedly show me his new bike vanity purchase and then tell me about a cute pair of skates he saw which he was sure I’d love.

Even then, I wasn’t interested, because I simply don’t have the time or energy to pick up skating again.

“I’ll stick to running, thanks,” I said.

Sheylara

Throughout the week, in Club Morte e-mails, our group discussed cycling, inline skating and beach picnics.

And, just like that, Morte declared, “I’m going to buy a pair of skates this Saturday!”

That was last week, and we all trooped down to East Coast Park to help him shop for a pair.

We ended up with more than we bargained for. On that day, we collectively purchased three pairs of inline skates.

Half of Club Morte

Yes, Kerrendor and I totally succumbed to impulse buying.

I was uninterested until I saw this pristine white pair of skates which had arrived in Singapore only two days before.

Sheylara's skates

When the skate shop guy handed it over to me, he said, “Congratulations! You’re one of the first few in Singapore to own this!”

LOL.

I am so in love with my new skates!

They are recreational skates so I can’t do health hazardous things with them because they lack the kind of handling needed for aggressive skating. But that’s a good thing, I suppose. I can hear my bones sighing with relief.

Sheylara's skates

I don’t think I’ll have the heart to attempt jumping powerslides on these babies, so my bones are safe for now.

Now, Minou wants to buy skates, too. We’re going shopping this Saturday!

Wang Wang is still undecided whether to skate or cycle, but she’ll decide soon enough. We threatened to make her our Table IC, otherwise.

According to the guys, that means she’d be in charge of looking after our stuff, being our water checkpoints, and preparing picnic supplies.

Wang Wang

I don’t think she’s very keen on fulfilling that role.

I’m so busy I’m turning psychotic

And now, I’m going to recap my past two weeks, in case people don’t believe me when I tell them that I’ve been busy to the point of psychosis.

Starting with a party.

Nov 24 (Sat) — Drunken Guitar Heroes

I organised a party for my delinquent friends, luring them with Krispy Kreme donuts (all 3 dozen of ’em, courtesy of my favourite Hong Kong-based cousin who goes by the endearing moniker of Monster).

At the party, I made everyone play battle mode in Guitar Hero 3. The loser of each battle had to drink a shot from an unwanted bottle of raspberry vodka that had followed our group from party to party for two years because nobody ever wants to drink it.

We all ended up pretty drunk (because I made sure everyone took turns to play and lose) and had to crash at J&J’s place overnight. Was planning to blog about this (I have incriminating videos! Wahaa!) but haven’t had time to sort out the pics and vids yet.

Nov 25 (Sun) — Free And Easy (Not)

I say free and easy because I had no appointments. But free and easy is not as free and easy as it sounds. It just means I could stay home to nurse my hangover work on any number of things piling up on my metaphorical in-tray — advertorials, scripts, blogs, rehearsals.

Nov 26 (Mon) — New Project In The Works

Met up with some folks to discuss a video blogging project that was supposed to have started this week but got delayed due to technical setbacks. (Which was actually fortunate because I don’t know how I would have found the time to work on it otherwise.)

Nov 27 (Tue) — Playing Truant To Work

I skipped ABT (gym) class for the fifth consecutive week. Not because of laziness (as is usually the case) but because I’ve been so busy meeting deadlines that exercise has to wait.

Spent the day slaving over my script for 3 Men Meet 3 Women, instead, because I needed to cough it out, pronto.

Nov 28 (Wed) — Anti-Smoking Crusade

I’m acting in this anti-smoking play designed to persuade staff in the civil service to quit smoking. Yes, it’s an educational play but we try to make it funny so that it distracts our audience into forgetting to be annoyed by the messagy nature of the play.


(Rehearsal picture taken at Health Promotion Board auditorium)

We go to exciting places like airbases to perform. (Actually, it’s a pain to go to those places because of all the security procedures at entry and exit points.)

On this day, we had two shows to perform at two different locations, one of which was Tengah Airbase. I made a discovery there: If you park your car backside in, it will get towed away. An officer kindly alerted us to that fact when we made the mistake of parking our vehicle like normal Singaporeans do. But he didn’t want to explain why.

Nov 29 (Thu) — First Rehearsal

I had my first rehearsal for 3 Men Meet 3 Women, which I already blogged about.

Nov 30 (Fri) — Trying To Plug Holes

I was able to get properly psychotic today because I didn’t have any engagments. So I was forced to stay home and work on the damn script, which had just been shot full of holes from the previous day’s rehearsal. Spent all day stressing over plugging the holes. Didn’t make much progress because I was too panicky to concentrate properly.

Dec 1 (Sat) — Crying At Auditions And Laughing At Parties

I auditioned for a feature film and cried real tears when performing a monologue which I only had 10 minutes to prepare. It’s really liberating and fulfilling when that happens. Actually, I always find it easier to cry on fresh material than on prepared pieces. I don’t know if other actors are that way.

After my audition, I rushed to Morte’s birthday dinner. (Late again.) The plan was to surprise him with dinner and a birthday cake. But because Morte is an inquisitive dongo who likes to sneak up behind his wife and peek at her MSN conversations, which, during one inopportune night, involved secret birthday party plans, he already knew everything even before the day arrived.

After dinner, we came to my place for Drunken Guitar Heroes Part 2.

Don Juan de Porko (picture, left) showed us the alternative way to mash buttons. (Check out his left hand.)

The Goonfather commented on this photo: “F**king Stamford Raffles or guitar hero, siah??”

Well, I don’t know who or what The Goonfather himself was trying to be when he struck this pose (below).

But I do know it’s the best pose to strike if you’re in the mood for cramping both your arms before the song is done.

Dec 2 (Sun) — Meeting Ate My Social Time

A technical meeting was held to discuss – duh – technicalities and logistics for 3 Men Meet 3 Women.

I wanted to discuss my script with the director, producer and my partner, but there wasn’t enough time and I had to rush off to watch the Slingers. I even sacrificed half the basketball match by leaving the meeting later than I’d planned.

Dec 3 (Mon) — Mission Complete

Today was the ultimate do-or-die day. I absolutely had to rewrite a passable script even if it killed me. Countdown to performance: 11 days.

So I sat down and forced myself to keep working at it no matter how many times I got stuck. I would write one page, then get up to walk around my room complaining, “I’m stuck!” and pulling my hair out, then sit down again and write some more.

Using that method, I finally completed the script despite being horrendously tired from lack of sleep. I did-and-didn’t-die!

Dec 4 (Tue) — Happy Big Project

Met up with a bunch of happy people to talk about starting a new theatre/media group so we can create our own platforms to do the things we love to do. There are already several ideas we want to work on as soon as we have time. This is the way to live life, is it not!

Dec 5 (Wed) — Hobnobbing With Elites After A Long Day Of Work

I had a corporate photoshoot at Singapore Polytechnic. Not for SP but for Ministry of Manpower (related to my Promoting Singapore video). Photoshoots are generally boring because they don’t engage me actively, since I have to stay still in specific poses. Staying still too much makes me want to jump and dance and run around a football field yelling at the top of my voice. But photoshoots are easy jobs that pay well for minimal effort so I like them for that.

From the photoshoot, I had to rush to NYU Tisch Asia for a party. I was half an hour late. Then again, is there such a thing as “late for a party”?

Wasn’t really a party, actually. It was a mixer, the purpose of which was to allow potential future hotshot actors and potential future hotshot directors to network. Many of those potential future hotshot directors came up to me to say they recognised me from the two short films I had acted in for their coursemates, and to congratulate me for doing a really great job. I hope they were all genuine compliments.

Dec 6 (Thur) — Qiaoyun The Blogger, Qiaoyun The Model

Was invited to Samsung office, together with a small group of bloggers, to talk about blogging, new media, gadgets and yet another project, which I can’t reveal now. It was a fun meeting. Strangely, no one took any photos.

Right after that was a 3 Men Meet 3 Women rehearsal. We did hotseating today. In theatre terms, that means an actor gets into character and has to answer questions thrown at him by the director and/or other actors. All questions must be answered in character. It’s a cool way to explore a character deeper and to test how much an actor knows his role.

Throughout the hotseating, my director claimed, the way I physically sat screamed “Qiaoyun the model” instead of my character. Well, I sat the way I thought my character, a high society lady, would sit, like all proper and posey, you know?

Dec 7 (Fri) — OMG Reshoot

We had to reshoot an episode of Snap! (the kids drama now showing on Channel 8, Sundays, 10:30 am) because one episode was dropped for inappropriate content (which is subjective, in my opinion). So we had to shoot a new episode with a new script to replace the dropped one. My hair is now four inches longer than in the other episodes. I hope no one notices.

Today — No Rest For The Weary

Attended a Philips press event for bloggers (I’m really tickled and a little disconcerted that bloggers are more and more being recognised as an alternative for conventional press). I’m sure you’ll be reading about the event pretty soon from some popular blogs in the Singapore blogosphere. I can’t talk about it now because I have to rush off (yet again) for a rehearsal after posting this blog.

SEE I NEVER BLUFF YOU ALL.

I’m working on so many things at the same time that I don’t have time to tidy up my wardrobe, which is now looking like a tornado hit a clothing store and dumped its spoils into it.

I don’t have photos for many of the activities I mentioned above because all the rushing about saps my energy. I don’t have any strength left to even take my camera out. Haha. I mean, I do enjoy every meeting, every rehearsal and every project. But the fact that they’re all clamouring for my attention at the same time is killing me.

I’ve been rushing from one thing to another so much that it’s a wonder I can keep track of what’s going on.

When I bump into people recently and they ask, “How have you been?” I give a tired look and say “Busy.”

If they ask, “Busy with what?” I’m speechless because I don’t know how to start answering.

Next time someone asks again, I’m going to answer, “I’m so busy I’m turning psychotic” and then give them the link to this post.

A Chinese Wedding — Hotel Havoc

Imagine having to be up at 4 am to get ready for someone else’s wedding. (Ok lah, I had to wake up earlier than the others because I’m vain and take a longer time to get ready.)

I only slept for two hours because I had work to finish (while the Goonfather, Morte and Wang Wang played Guitar Hero 3 in my room the night before).

Anyway, the wedding.

By the time we were done with the morning festivities, which included the bride pickup, tea ceremonies, lunch buffets and shuffling back and forth endlessly between three homes, I was quite bushed. I’m sure everyone was.

By then, the hotel bed was a welcome sight!

Kerrendor and Minou held their wedding banquet at Goodwood Park Hotel and they booked us rooms to crash in before the banquet.

The brothers had one room, the sisters another. But most of the sisters went home for some reason or other, so Wang Wang and I had one room all to ourselves!! Woooeeee!!

We staked our claim right away!

The room was nice and spacious.

But I didn’t get to enjoy the space for too long because, right after taking these photos, I took off my clothes and jumped into bed.

And snoozed for two hours while Wang Wang flitted about the hotel, visiting the bridal suite, the brothers’ room, and I dunno what else she was doing.

At 3:45 pm, my phone alarm woke me up. I had to get ready for the banquet rehearsal.

Groggy.

Tried to flatten the kinks in my hair, freshen up my makeup and choose a dress, all in 15 minutes.

(I was having a dress crisis and didn’t decide what to wear until three hours before the banquet. I brought two dresses and Joey brought two for me to try on.)

I finally settled on the cheapest of the lot — a $30 dress I had bought on a whim two days before. *lol*

I tried to take a photo of it off the ballroom’s wall mirror. But the stupid mirror was layered and made me look funny.

So I had a picture with Joey, instead.

I know it’s unrelated but I don’t really care.

I also took a picture when everyone had arrived and were discussing their respective duties.

I thought the picture turned out funny. Like an interrogation or something. Hahaha.

My job was to be the emcee, together with Morte. (That’s why I was having a dress crisis, because I didn’t have anything formal enough to wear for the job.)

You know, I tasked the Goonfather with taking photos of me and Morte on stage. And the whole entire night, he only took ONE LOUSY SUPER BLUR PHOTO!

I had to turn up the brightness and contrast drastically in order for the people in the photo to be recognised as human beings.

HE IS SUCH A GOON!!

Now you know why I always take my own photographs.

Anyway, after the fifth course of the banquet, Morte and I were relieved of our emcee duties. We could sit back and start on the alcohol!

Four full glasses of pure brandy, waiting for the groom. OMG.

After some thought, the guys decided that it was too evil.

So they threw in two glasses of beer to neutralise the brandy.

Wahahahaaha!

Anyway, everyone knows that the arrival of heavy duty alcohol marks the beginning of unbridled debauchery!

Morte stole one of the wedding balloons and resculptured it.

It was such a hit that the guys placed it on an ambrosial pedestal of honour.

Check out the amount of alcohol our table consumed (and spilled, if you can see the big faded red patch).

The orange soda in the wine glass is mine, by the way.

I was a paragon of virtue trapped in a decadent vice city!!

After the banquet, the vice squad trooped up to the bridal suite to revel in more debauchery.

They pretended at first. Just sat there modestly as if they were just having a merry little tea party.

Indulged in quaint methods of eye therapy.

Sipped red wine out of dainty Chinese tea cups.

An innocent bystander would not have been prepared for the aftermath.

And what an aftermath it was.

Without warning, it went from this:

To this:

And this:

Paragon of virtue traumatised:

After almost 24 hours of celebration, the wedding finally came to an end with everyone stumbling off to any available hotel room, leaving the newly-weds to clean up the mess.

What an amazing experience, even if some parts were traumatising. Gotta love my friends!

Happy ever after, Kerrendor and Minou!

A Chinese Wedding — The Funny Parts

Before you do anything else, load up this video first. You can read the rest of this blog while it loads and then come back when it’s done.

(It’s funnier if you watch it without the streaming pauses. And turn on your speakers.)

This was last weekend. We celebrated the wedding of Kerrendor and Minou (actually Justin and Jennifer but I like to use their EQ2 names).

We, the sisters, had to be at the bride’s place at 5:30am to prepare for the arrival of the groom and his brothers.

The preparation was really fun because we were making breakfast for the boys.

Yummy!

YUMMY!!

YUMMY!!!

Wang Wang does a smell test.

Heavenly!

And we’re all set!

We also prepare a surprise for the brothers.

Hmm… a hat?

The brothers arrive and are fed their breakfast.

Hahaha! What a sabo we created!

(“Sabo” is short for “sabotage” and is used as a slang to denote an action which could range from a friendly prank to downright betrayal.)

Kerrendor (the groom) was able to escape eating our breakfast because his family custom does not permit the groom to eat yucky stuff on his wedding day due to it being inauspicious.

So we made him answer ten questions about the bride. Difficult questions like what’s her favourite lipstick and what she wore on their first trip overseas together.

For each question he fails to answer correctly, one of the brothers would have to eat one item of our lovingly prepared breakfast.

The idea was to make him sabo his brothers so they would all want to kill him!

Wahahahaha! Evil!

He failed all the questions!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

After breakfast was the entrance fee haggling. The groom has to part with an obscene amount of cash before the sisters will open the door to admit the brothers.

Well, what happens after this is all in the video so I’m not going to write about it.

But the bride and groom finally met.

And we took some group photos. Here are all the brothers and sisters!

And me!

OMG this is very tiring.

I’ll have to continue this tomorrow because I already spent half the afternoon editing the video and pictures.

Watch out for A Chinese Wedding — Hotel Havoc tomorrow!

An excuse to have a Wii party

It seems that I’m recognised as a gamer more than I’m recognised as an actress because I keep getting interview requests as a gamer, but no one ever wants to interview me as an actress.

The media loves Sheylara the gamer but doesn’t give a hoot about Qiaoyun the actress. *sob*

Some time back, I was interviewed by The Straits Times and Playworks magazine as a gamer. Recently, I was interviewed for a TV programme about gaming. It’s not out yet, though. Will update when it is.

For part of the interview, the TV crew invited itself to one of my Wii parties.

I wish they could have focused more on me as an MMORPG gamer because that’s really my main passion. But I guess it’s more visually exciting to watch someone prance around with a Wiimote than to watch someone stare at a computer screen.

So I invited my friends over and ordered tons of delicious junk food.

Major droolage! Fuel up for the coming major exertion!

Except that the boys were really boring and chose not to exert themselves, preferring to sit on their lazy bums to play Monkey Ball.

I can imagine they’d be lying down on the sofa to play less intensive games like, say, Ridge Racer, on the PS3.

They were asked to ham it up a little for the camera crew.

So they put on bigger smiles.

dotdotdot.

Anyway, the main event was the interview.

I had to answer many questions, some of which were about my personal gaming experiences, while others were commentary-type questions that made me feel like I was doing a GP essay.

This is my “Waiting for them to Finish Setting Up the Lights” look:

“Animatedly Answering a Question” look:

“Are You Taking My Photograph?” look:

Through the director’s monitor:

I don’t really like being interviewed, actually. Especially on video. I take a long time to come up with good answers. I’m not very good at talking, preferring to write.

Anyway, the ordeal ended and the camera crew left and we played Mario Party 8! We had to take turns because that game only accommodates four players.

I can’t remember why I was grimacing and why Wang Wang and Minou were looking at me grimacing. But I think I grimace a lot when playing the Wii. I scream and giggle a lot, too.

Maybe that’s why I won the girls vs. girls match. I think the girls were unnerved by my periodic hysterics.

When we played, the boys ate. When the boys played, we ate!

Such decadence. Such fun!

I sold my Wii after this party because I simply don’t have time to play it anymore and, like I said, my main passion is in MMORPG. So the money I got back from the Wii sale will finance my new graphics card! Wheee!!

But I hope we can still have Wii parties in the future. My Wii was sold to Minou and Kerrendor, hehe. And two other couples in our group have Wii, too. *hint*

A big wet smoochy thank you to Wang Wang and Morte for letting us crash at your place, and to all my friends for the fun!