Figures of speech and chocolates for dinner

I thought an evening run would shake me out of lethargy, clear my mind and give me some ideas for any one of my zillion projects.

It didn’t.

On the bright side, today’s run was relatively painless. I completed my course before I knew it because my mind had been so busy working, thinking up and discarding ideas, that I hardly realised I was running at all.

Cool, ain’t it?

Speaking of bright, the moon is big and round and beautiful tonight. Is it full moon? I love the full moon. I could gaze at it forever.

Well, okay, not forever. People shouldn’t take figures of speech literally, you know.

Like when I say I want to pinch your baby’s cheeks, I don’t really mean I want to pinch them. I just mean to say your baby’s so cute I could eat it.

Oh, look, there’s another figure of speech.

I don’t really want to eat your baby, of course.

Jeez, people.

I’m eating chocolates for dinner while typing this. That isn’t a figure of speech. It’s the literal truth.

I love the freedom of being able to eat what I like, when I like.

That’s one huge reason I shouldn’t have children.

Because if my child were to ask, “Mummy, can I have chocolates for dinner?” I would start thinking how I hate to have my meals dictated and how I would hate it if someone stopped me from eating chocolates for dinner, and I would answer, “Yes, of course, sweetie.”

Can you imagine what a terrible a parent I would make??

“Mummy, can I not do homework tonight and play computer games until morning?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

“Mummy, can I eat dinner in bed?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

“Mummy, can I go to my boyfriend’s house and watch porn while we smoke illegal substances?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

What kind of a screwed up kid would I create?! I shudder to imagine. The world would be a better place if I never had children.

Darn, I’m out of chocolate.

Of course, I have effectively busted whatever good that evening run just did me.

But that was some really nice chocolate!