You must wear red new clothes or get eaten by a monster

To be totally blunt, I think us Chinese people are all being taken for rides.

Just think about it. Chinese New Year customs originated from some stupid folklore about a mythical monster by the name of Nian (Year), who enjoys swallowing innocent people with his great big mouth, but who is also very conveniently scared of red.

To prevent Nian from paying you an unsolicited midnight visit for a midnight snack, you should stick red paper all over your house or, better yet, all over yourself.

Think about it. Year after year, we are celebrating the non-existence of a great big monster whose nemesis is the colour of red. If that doesn’t make us quite silly, I don’t know what does.

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