Poor balding bird

I was having tea with Ely one leisurely afternoon when she suddenly pointed behind me and exclaimed in shock, “OYO!!”

I don’t know what kind of an exclamation that was. It was part fear, part amazement, part apocalyptic.

It gave me a scare.

I thought maybe someone was creeping up behind me to try to sell me a gym membership (gym membership salesmen being the new insurance agents) because I look like I really need to go to the gym.

I turned around and followed Ely’s finger. There was something creeping behind me, alright.

I released a more universally understood exclamation.

“OMG!” I exclaimed.

For the next 10 seconds, both of us gaped in astonishment as this little guy walked past our table.

[Hey, handsome]

“Poor thing!!!” cried Ely in sympathy.

It was a balding bird.

“So cute!!” I gushed.

The little bird strolled past nonchalantly, enjoying the afternoon sun.

[Hey, handsome]

He looks cute to me but I wonder if he gets shunned in avian country.

[Hey, handsome]

When I was writing this post, the Goonfather saw the picture on my screen and exclaimed, “Hey! Where did you get a chicken?”

“It’s not a chicken lah!” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“It IS a chicken!” he insisted. “It has bird flu.”

“It a mynah!” I said.

“It looks like it’s trying to be a vulture,” the Goonfather shared.

[Hey, handsome]

I tried to take a video of it but the little guy didn’t like it and kept running off and hiding behind chair and table legs so I only managed to get a clear shot of it for like three seconds in the beginning.

I guess I wouldn’t like it either if some strange girl who looks like she needs a gym membership were to start following me around with a video camera.

Tender chicken and juicy sotong balls

The best time to write a food post is when you’re hungry.

Drool over your own photos, salivate at your words, die of hunger at your own hands.

Totally evil and masochistic.

So, today, I’m drooling over something which was already famous before I was born. (Really.)

It’s the Clementi Road Paper-Wrapped Chicken!

[A plate of wrapped up chicken]

[A piece of wrapped up chicken]

[A piece of unwrapped chicken]

It doesn’t look very appetising in the picture but I assure you it tastes great. The bite-size chicken pieces are all tender and juicy as hell.

This delicacy can be found at a place called Union Farm Eating House, which serves a wide range of Chinese food. But everyone goes there mainly to eat the paper-wrapped chicken.

You’ll love the surroundings. It’s an old, rickety building sitting on a piece of kampong land boasting overgrown grass and granite pebbles that threaten to trip high-heeled ladies.

As you sit at your table waiting for your meal, you’ll be entertained by a neverending series of disturbing noises that sound like a cross between a baby crying and pigs in heat.

It is the sound of chickens getting slaughtered for your meal. Apparently.

That’s a bit sick but you’ll learn to tune out the sound and look forward to having a very, very fresh meal.

We also ordered this:

[Juicy balls of sotong]

Super must-try sotong balls.

Very solid, very juicy, very tasty. But you must eat it while its hot before it loses its oomph.

I didn’t eat it right away, you see. While my friends were oohing and aahing and omg-ing about how the juice spurts out when you bite into each ball, I was busy photographing my food.

When I finally had time to take a bite, my response was, “So nice meh? Siao lah, you all. Normal only wat.”

And then they all started throwing peanuts and napkins at me.

“YOU MUST EAT IT WHILE IT’S HOT YOU DODO!!!”

Tsk tsk. Such violent friends have I.

Union Farm Eating House is at 435A Clementi Road. (It’s just beside the Singapore Institute of Management and very easy to find.)