The ninja squad strikes fear into your heart

The Goonfather tells me that kunoichi (female ninja) always have hair dangling down the sides of their faces. So, for yesterday’s ninja patrol, I let down one side of my hair.

[Kunoichi wannabe]

I know the hair clip is a little unglam but my hair refuses to stay up otherwise.

Then again, who says hair clips are unglam? Kuchiki Byakuya from Bleach has like 10,000 clips on his head.

[Kuchiki Byakuya the dreamboat]

I used to hate Byakuya because I thought he looked faggoty plus he was so evil. But he started getting cooler and cooler in the later episodes and his Bankai is so super cool, so now I love him. But that’s beside the point, so let’s get back to topic.

We started our patrol at Rivervale Mall at 12 pm.

Rivervale Mall is a ghost town, even at 12 pm, so we headed straight for the food court. In Singapore, you can always find people in a food court during lunch hour, even in the most godforsaken corners of the country.

[The lunch crowd lost its appetite]

Our instructions were: “Don’t give the flyers to children below 18 (Ninja Gaiden II is rated M18) and old aunties.”

That left us practically no one to give our flyers to, because RM seems to only stock that species of humans.

So we descended upon the small smattering of harmless old uncles, making them spurt their coffee out in shock at being confronted by dubious-looking aliens from mysterious planets.

That was mildly fun.

We left the building half an hour before time because we ran out of people to shock.

We figured that Temasek Polytechnic would have more likely victims for us to terrorise.

[The ninja patrol squad goes to school]

We were quite right.

The bridge alone yielded an unlimited number of victims.

[The ninja patrol squad camps the bridge]

I tried to emulate Ryu Hayabusa’s meditative posture, but I think I just succeeded in looking silly.

[Pretend meditation]

Which inspired everyone to get silly. We spent 10 minutes fooling around, allowing lucky victims to pass us by unmolested.

[Pretend ninja]

[Pretend ninja]

[Nobody told her the banner was upside down

With our sacred mission successfully completed, it was time for us to leave the place.

Because cost-cutting is a fashionable activity these days, the ninja management decreed that we had to take public transport like regular peons, so we trooped down to the TP bus stop to wait for a bus.

Except that we were so untrained in the skill of taking public transport that we tried to flag a bus from the wrong direction.

[Ninja taking bus

But we still managed to arrived unscathed at Tampines Mall, our final stop for the day.

[People people people!

[People people people!

I was so tired by that time, but I remained professional and continued to display my glazed kunoichi stare.

We also entertained a stunned crowd with our leet ninja skillz.

[Ryu Hayabusa was tired after standing all day

[The ninja patrol squad strikes

[The ninja patrol squad strikes again

Everyone broke into applause because they were so impressed by our death-defying stunts.

We must have sold a zillion copies of Ninja Gaiden II for the Xbox 360 on this day.

Have you pre-ordered your copy yet?

Regression of the gamer chick

I feel somewhat guilty.

Maybe guilty is not the right word. Sheepish, perhaps.

You see, just two weeks ago, I bought a new computer just so I could play an MMORPG again. I had cancelled my EQ2 account five months ago and been feeling like something’s missing from my life.

So, I got my new comp and I re-activated my WoW account.

I played like crazy for a week and then I stopped playing.

Why?

Because I’ve been stuck to my DS Lite since last week, playing an old school RPG.

It’s so old school you won’t believe it. It’s one of those games in which you create a party of five or six adventurers and you bring them out to bash monsters and find treasure. The movement is grid-based and the combat is turn-based. At the start of each turn, you specify what you want each of your characters to do to which monster.

OMFGGG. The joy!

Old school RPGs were the staple of my misspent childhood, so it’s quite nostalgic.

Well, to be fair, I kinda stopped playing WoW after a week because I suddenly got busy with filming since last week. But that also means I have lots of time to play with my DS Lite (while waiting around on the set).

Ironically, I started playing an RPG on my DS Lite because I was suffering from WoW withdrawal during shoots.

But, in the end, the DS Lite RPG displaced WoW!

When I get home at night after a long day of filming, I should spend a few hours playing WoW before going to bed. But I find myself still stuck to my DS Lite. WoW is all but forgotten.

I can’t believe it.

I am sacrificing this:

To play this:

The game is called Etrian Odyssey and, in view of my recent Bleach craze, I’ve named my characters after Bleach characters and my guild is called Bankai.

Haha. Corny.

I have Ichigo (fighter), Rukia (mage), Inoue (healer), Ishida (archer) and Yuruichi (dark hunter). The classes are not named exactly like that, but they’re the same archetypes. For example, the fighter is known as a landsknecht. I can’t even pronounce it. See, if I’d said landsknecht instead of fighter from the start, you’d go huh like I did when I first played the game.

The other classes are in English, though, so it’s not that crazy.

Speaking of Bleach, someone really should make a Bleach RPG or MMORPG. There’s Bleach on the Wii, but it’s one of those silly fighting games I don’t like.

Anyway, I digress. Although I must say Bleach is always a great subject to talk about so who cares about digression?

But I digress.

I feel kinda stupid spending all my free time playing an obviously inferior game when I’m already paying $23 a month for WoW (on top of having spent over a grand on a new computer).

I think people might laugh at me and call me retro or something worse.

But the game is damn fun lah (in an old school way). I used to make my own maps using those primary school exercise books with squares in them. Etrian Odyssey has an in-built map-making facility so you can use the stylus to draw maps right on the screen as you explore the forests!

Help! I’ve regressed!

You think maybe I ought to have my head checked?