People who deserve a kick in the butt

Stupid car park architects (or whatever they call them) just earned themselves an honorary spot on my To Murder (In My Dreams) list.

I had to go to Ubi Techpark to pick up a cheque for a past acting job, so I drove there because sometimes, driving beats taking public transport. It took me about 10 minutes to complete my business in the building, after which I proceeded to the Auto Pay Station to pay the car park charges.

The machine chewed on my ticket for a bit before telling me cheerfully: “Free parking. Please leave the car park now.” Then it spewed the ticket back out to me.

Coolness! I thought. What a nice, generous car park!

I then proceeded to drive out of the car park, an activity which took me several minutes because the damn place is a giant one-way-street maze. The numerous “Way Out” signs directed me many winding paths round and round the massive five-lobby building before finally letting me out.

At the exit barrier, I fed the machine my ticket and waited to be let out. Nothing happened for like five seconds, so I looked back at the machine and there was the message: “Please pay at the Auto Pay Station before leaving.”


Obviously, the machines aren’t communicating very well with each other. Machine A didn’t tell Machine B that it had given me free parking privileges.

By the time a security officer came to my assistance, about five cars had lined up behind me, probably dreaming up a thousand ways to murder me for holding them up. (That’s why I have to transfer some of the hatred away to more responsible parties.)

Security Uncle came over and said, “Miss, you have to pay at the Auto Pay Station first.”

I protested: “But I did. It said Free Parking and wouldn’t allow me to pay.”

Security Uncle: “Oh, you took too long to come out.”

Well. It’s not my fault that your stupid car park designers didn’t do a good job and your stupid engineers didn’t teach your machines well.

In the end, Security Uncle had to get all the cars behind me to back up so I could reverse my way to the nearest Auto Pay Station.

The bill for all my trouble: $1.10, 15 wasted minutes and a burst vessel.