Yes, I just thought it was time for me to post a recent selfie to show that I haven’t grown horns or anything.
Although I suppose I could have just photoshopped the horns away and you’d be none the wiser. But let’s just assume that I haven’t got the skills to do that. I can just about erase the odd blemish and eye bag and wrinkle and… wait, what? I didn’t say anything. I’m not saying anything until I see my lawyer.
What respectable human being grows horns for no reason, anyway?
So, selfie, sans horn!
Except I have cleverly cropped the top of my head off. Mwahaha.
And then very un-cleverly revealed all my tricks.
Speaking of horns, I just remembered I have a pair of cute reindeer antler hair clips I bought years ago. I was planning to wear them at Christmas but kept forgetting, and have forgotten three years in a row, or thereabouts.
Perhaps this year I will remember and then we can have a selfie with antlers.
Although when Piers found out my plans (to wear antlers at Christmas) he was, like, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, I’m not sure he would let me out of the house with them on.
Only about eight months to find out.
Now I want to talk a bit about selfies. They’re a funny bit of modern culture that makes me very uncomfortable. I mean, selfies are blatant attention-seeking devices, right? Who would post a selfie other than to say, “Look at me and give me some attention, dammit?”
But go ask anyone, “Do you like attention-seeking people?” I’m going to bet you the answer is no. In fact, you know the answer is no without having to ask.
So why is it that, when someone posts a selfie anywhere, they get likes and compliments GALORE?
Here, look at this.
A selfie appears on my Facebook feed. I get 112 likes. And it wasn’t even a proper selfie post. I was just changing my profile back to an old picture I had already used before.
On the contrary, a blog post link, accompanied by a nice little cartoon, gets three likes.
THREE.
Ok, I did manipulate the data a bit by picking out two extreme instances but the fact generally is that selfie posts get WAY MORE likes and comments than any other posts (except engagement and pregnancy announcements).
It’s almost enough to make me quit blogging altogether and just post selfies all day long.
But, like I said, it makes me very uncomfortable.
Why do people claim not to like attention-seekers yet give them so much attention?
A lot has been written on this subject. A lot of psychobabble about self-esteem, and a lot of rants about selfies destroying the universe. I don’t want to add to that. Well, I do want to add that people are crazy and the world is crazy, and that’s about the size of it.
The selfie culture makes me uncomfortable because I was raised in an era and country of modesty and humility, which selfies are the burning antithesis of. I don’t want to post a single selfie if I am to be honest. I want to be admired for the work I do. But a lot more people seem to admire my selfies than my work, so it encourages me to propagate the selfie culture.
Which means that it’s all your fault.
When you like my selfies, it makes me feel better about the times you fail to like my blog posts, which I would have put a few thousand times more effort on.
Time spent writing this post: 5 hours.
Time spent taking this selfie: 5 seconds.
So, people, I don’t know, like, just do the right thing. Leave a comment to tell me I’m right (that you are messed up because you like selfies more than anything else)?
