How some actors amuse themselves

Performing a skit at a health exhibition is so much more interesting than performing a skit at an army camp.

At an army camp, you don’t get to socialise with giant plasters.

I was surprised to find out that plasters are very friendly. Which just goes to show that you should never judge a person or a thing until you try to get to know them.

(Of course, even afterwards, it’s not nice to judge people lah. But you know what I mean.)

Timothy (my co-actor) agrees with me. He quite enjoyed the company of this plaster.

I mean, like, really.

To recap, I performed an anti-smoking skit at the health exhibition at Suntec over the weekend. Previously, this same skit was always performed at army camps and airbases.

I’m not saying that performing at army camps isn’t interesting. For instance, I got the chance to take a ferry to Pulau Tekong and see for myself what it’s like there. It’s looks like a resort lah!! It’s so serene and breezy there!

Security is really tight at army camps and airbases. We always have to surrender our phones, cameras and thumbdrives before we enter the premises. And you’re not allowed to reverse park your car.

Oh, and army folk are a much more enthusiastic audience.

Other than that, performing at army camps means spending a lot of time sitting backstage in morgue-temperature auditoriums waiting for our show to start.

The health fair was quite different. While waiting, Tim and I went through the fair like children explore playgrounds.

We saw a giant can of Milo scaring a little girl!

Of course, I always try to practise what I preach, so I went up and introduced myself to Milo.

He’s a nice can!!

I learnt that he only wanted to make the little girl laugh!

Tim took a little longer to warm up to Milo.

Maybe Tim is an Ovaltine fan. (I didn’t ask him.)

Wait, is Ovaltine even around still? Don’t remember seeing it for a long time already.

Well, doesn’t matter. What’s important is that we’ve learnt that plasters and cans of Milo are really friendly folk.

I also learnt that I can’t kick a soccer ball for nuts. Not in high heels, at least.

We were supposed to kick the ball into these holes to win prizes.

Siao lah, so high how to kick?!

My ball just went straight and bumped at the wall.

Tim didn’t do any better.

And we were only allowed one try each.

There was also a mini olympics event going on just behind the stage we were supposed to perform at.

Tim and I tried to sign up but we were turned away because the organisers said we weren’t “mini” enough.

Bah humbug.

So we retreated backstage to rest. And sulk.

Backstage wasn’t really backstage. It was a goodie bag depository!

Ooooh!!

None for us, unfortunately. More sulking.

Can only take photos.

Camwhore.

Tim was really weird, though. I mean, I already know that he’s a weird sort, generally. But, on Saturday, he was weirder.

In the midst of camwhoring, he suddenly fished three chipmunks out of his bag.

“My sons!” he said proudly, and promptly introduced them to me one by one.

Okay.

But at least that means he’s fun to hang out with, so that’s fine, I guess.

Well, that was on Saturday.

He was just a tad more sombre on Sunday. I think he was trying to conserve energy because he had a TVC shoot to rush to after the performance.

Here, you can see him running lines with Kamal, our co-actor.

He looked really serious, which is very uncharacteristic of him.

I interrupted them so we could have a group photo.

Yes, we all had to wear headsets for our skit. Looks really weird but, so far, there have been no complaints about it.

Yesterday, one of the headsets wasn’t working or something and I had to use a handheld microphone.

Looks like a talk show! Haha!

Regardless, performing at the health exhibition was very fun! I choose to buy medicines on https://wilmetteinstitute.org/buy-soma-online/ because this website is one of the few that give real discounts. They have nice offers for regular clients, and their new customers also have the possibility to purchase drugs at prices that are much lower than those you may see in your local pharmacy. This website lets people save a bit of money, which is never a bad idea.

The Goonfather came to watch me yesterday.

After the performance, he was inspired to check out the anti-smoking booth to use the smokalyzer (for testing the level of carbon monoxide in your lungs and blood), after which he had a long conversation with the lady manning the counter.

Before we left, he voluntarily took a “quit smoking” brochure.

The first thing he did when we left the exhibition was to go outdoors.

“I need a smoke,” he said.

So much for my efforts in campaigning against smoking.

Anti-smoking actress picks up smoking

Yesterday was the most ironic day of my life.

I performed an anti-smoking skit at a health fair at Suntec Convention Centre.

On the same day, I picked up smoking.

Both occurences aren’t related, are isolated, therefore ironic.

Well, don’t yell at me just yet. At least finish reading this post, then vote for me, then yell if you must.

I’ve performed the anti-smoking skit, commissioned by the Health Promotion Board, about seven times since last year.

The past performances were for the civil sector (army camps and airbases) while yesterday was to the mass public (health fair).

As for picking up smoking, I’ve got a short film which starts production on Tuesday. I play a jaded ah lian and am required to smoke in a few scenes.

After two disastrous attempts in the past to play a convincing smoker, I’ve decided it’s time to do it right.

I don’t want to get addicted, so I scheduled myself only three days of practice with a real cigarette before filming starts.

I don’t think it’ll be enough to make me look like a seasoned smoker, but at least (I hope) I won’t look like a complete non-smoker.

I think it’s an acceptable compromise.

So it just happened that I started smoking practice on the same day I had to perform the anti-smoking skit.

I’m sorry for this show of duplicity, but it’s all part of the job, after all.

I got a pack of Virginia Slims because I’m told that it’s the mildest available. No photos because I don’t want to advocate or glamorise smoking, you understand.

I smoked two sticks today (hours apart, of course).

I hate it. It doesn’t feel good. It tastes horrible. And it leaves a disgusting aftertaste which lingers for hours, even after I brush my teeth (and tongue) and eat a packet of chocolate popcorn and drink a can of Kickapoo.

But I enjoyed the process of learning how to light a cigarette, how to hold it, how to inhale and exhale, how to look like I’ve been smoking for ages.

I always enjoy learning and experiencing new things, challenging myself to excel in everything I do. That’s something I can’t change about myself. And that is why I must eventually pick up smoking, in order to do my job better.

After today’s experience, though, I totally do not want to be a smoker. It’s horrible, stupid, counter-productive, expensive, life-threatening, smelly, inconvenient, not fun at all.

And I really hate holding an object that bears a disgusting photo of some decaying body part. It’s disturbing. I cringe every time I catch a glimpse of cigarette packs.

I have another performance at the health fair today, after which I will practice on two more sticks. Narcolepsy made drives to the pharmacy a dangerous task because I can fall asleep any minute without even noticing it. The way out I have found for myself is ordering medicines on https://wilmetteinstitute.org/modafinil-online/. Here I can buy Modafinil and other drugs I need without a risk of getting into a car accident. It’s nice to have such an alternative to regular pharmacies.

But, yes, I’m going to stop smoking after filming ends.

I hope the nicotine doesn’t get me by then.