Well, hello! This is all rather exciting, isn’t it?

Oh, but I am EXPLODING with anticipation and I simply must proclaim so or I shall BURST INTO FLAMES right here and now. A new adventure is on the horizon! I cannot wait for it to happen, I CANNOT!!!

No, no. I must refrain from hysterics. I am a dignified being, surely.

Let’s try again.

My story began in a large chamber where I slept alongside thousands of my kind for… oh, I cannot remember, far too long.

Admittedly, there isn’t much of a story to tell. Whilst all the empty-headed plebs chattered amongst themselves, I slept and dreamt of the day a genius photographer would rescue me from warehouse purgatory to begin the fulfillment of my destiny.

 

 

The day has come!

I’ve always known that I was special. For what reason would I have been created but to become the DSLR that takes million-pound photographs? Yes! I will be rich and famous, the camera of the century, admired and praised around the world MWA HA HA.

Ahem. Excuse me.

I must confess, though, that I am plagued by the tiniest sliver of doubt. My new owner looks rather flighty and I wonder if she knows the first thing about photography. Has there been a mistake in assignation? Surely, my owner should be someone who looks more, I don’t know, distinguished and important?

This supposed owner is called Sheylara and I have observed that her home is full of heart motifs. How could that bode anything but bad? Look at where she has placed my battery charger: Atop a dainty and miniature cupboard FULL OF HEARTS, what?

 

 

?????

Oh, I KNOW something is definitely not right with this girl.

I mean, it’s not just the cupboard! It’s literally EVERYWHERE! Are you ready for this? Even her dinnerware has hearts!

 

 

!!!!!

What is that I CAN’T EVEN!!!

(Okay, calm down. Dignity.)

(Breathe.)

It is possible that I am mistaken about her. We shall have to see. They say that geniuses are quirky. Perhaps she is merely one of those eccentric things who have trouble conforming. She may yet turn out to be The One.

Or… OR! It could even be that she is the idiot daughter of the real genius photographer, and has misappropriated her father’s possession out of impertinence.

Ah, yes, that must be it. Hope blossoms.

I shall report again when I know more. Wish me luck!