Ok, let’s try this again.
As I have done many times in the last few years of intermittent blogging, I considered quitting altogether because, nowadays, it’s just very, very difficult for me to sit down and write.
Besides genuine lack of time and also genuine inertia, I think I’ve got writephobia.
I mean, there’s an actual scientific word for that (graphophobia) but I’m sure it’s very obscure and people would probably understand me better if I made up my own word.
Obviously, I don’t have the condition for reals since I have gone and written this, haven’t I? It’s just whenever I think to sit down and write, I instead want to cry, sleep, eat something unhealthy, stab myself with something sharp or puke all my insides out.
Of course, I don’t usually do any of these things because they’re counterproductive. So I give in to the old survival instinct and run far, far away from my computer. I do sometimes end up running to the snack cupboard.
But today I succeeded in scaring myself with the possibility that the previous post I published six months ago would be the last ever post on my blog. It’s a stupid post and will stay in prime position on my blog FOREVER, or until the internet dies.
It is certainly not ideal, so I thought I would fix it by writing a really good post to end things. Except this isn’t at all a good post so maybe I can’t end things just yet.
Thing is, although I have stopped publishing posts for yonks, my mind has kept on writing. It won’t stop, the stupid noodle. My mind makes words all the time, so I’ll be thinking, why don’t I move my stupid ass to my keyboard and transfer all these lovely mind words to the screen because how hard can that be?
Then the mind will be, like, yeah, maybe, hmm, naaaah, OH I feel a vomit coming.
Even now, I’ve got a Jekyll and Hyde situation going on. Half my mind is spitting this nonsense out while the other half is thinking RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
Now, you think I’ve gone mad. But I can assure you that I’ve always been like that.
You’d perhaps want to quietly unfriend me on Facebook. I would never find out because I have 1,646 friends, of whom probably 95% are strangers. Damn social media games. My Facebook newsfeed has become a cesspit of horror and it is now a bit scary to visit.
Anyway, I have digressed so much from the main point I wanted to make that I can’t even remember what the point was.
Oh, I think I just wanted to say hello, peace and sanity to all.
Also, happy 8th day of 2018.
I will write more. Unless Hyde wins again.
2 thoughts on “Not the last post ever”
I wish there was something I could do. You are such a good writer. It would be a shame for us to loose your unique writing style and your take on things.
Just know that loosing access to you and your writing will be like losing a very good friend for many of us.
The world has become, and will continue to be a very dull place without your writings and posts here.
Happy CNY, Sheylara! Well almost CNY :P