Right, I know, and I know you know, that I have been very slow at updating my blog.
Well, I’ve been very busy, you know.
I’ve been busy with, oh, you know, the usual stuff, such as staring at the wall, staring at that mess that keeps piling up against said wall (and other walls), sitting on my chair like a statue, imploding (not literally) from the millions of to-do items doing the Gangnam Style in my head, and starving myself (literally) because I’m too busy doing all of the above to eat.
I know, right? I’m the epitome of productivity. I’m also very proud to say that I’ve already achieved so much even though we’re only halfway into January. (That mess by that wall is MASSIVE. So is the hemorrhage pool in my brain.)
Anyway, since I’m always so busy doing so many very important things, there is always the danger of tasks slipping through the cracks and not getting done, what with the old noodle not being what it used to be (soggy and full of holes, as it were). So I decided that I had to become more productive than I already am.
My solution was to adopt a Moleskine Bullet Journal. All those sad little Moleskines sitting in warehouses or dusty bookshelves waiting to be rescued and given a good home. I can increase my already amazing productivity AND do a good deed at the same time.
I mulled a long time over what colour Moleskine to buy, white or pink. Colour is very important because it affects our moods (scientifically proven) as well as our luck (not as scientific). A feng shui master I consulted years ago told me that white is not a good colour for me, because it makes events in my life go less smoothly.
Unfortunately, I have a tendency to favour white due to my birth elements. Which is just dandy, isn’t it? I imagine there is some rascally creator floating around in the stratosphere chuckling evilly to himself as he fiddles with our DNA to make us want things that are bad for us.
Anyway, I proceeded to disregard the feng shui advice and got myself a white Moleskine. After all, I routinely ignore the advice of doctors, nutritionists, parents, well-meaning friends and religious fanatics, because I will do exactly damn well what I want to do, so what the hell.
It’s so gorgeous I wanted to adopt another one immediately. So that I can pretend to be even more hipster than I already am pretending to be. But Piers is having none of that. He doesn’t exactly control my spending but he has this fake stern stare which is immensely cute and makes me want to drop everything and go smother him with affection.
Evil distracting man is evil.
So, I’ve had the Moleskine for three days now, and bullet journalling has already increased my productivity by 300%! You write tasks down, you do the tasks, you tick ’em off, you doodle cute little hearts all over your journal to motivate yourself. Perfect system. (Although that last part with the hearts is my invention.)
On the first day, I managed to do the laundry, reply one e-mail and drink 1 pint (568 ml) of filtered water.
On the second day, I watered our basil plant (wow), replied two e-mails (I’m unstoppable) and drank 2 pints of water. TWO!
I think I should slow down for a bit now because this steeply exponential increase in my productivity is only going to cause a literal implosion due to my mind not being able to handle my newfound greatness.
Moderation is very important, you know. Therefore, I shall now have to end this post, which has a reached moderate length.
And if I have inspired you in any way, like, with my awesome productivity, don’t forget to thank me.