The marriage post

So, the reason I haven’t blogged for weeks is that a lot has happened.

It sounds a bit ironic because lifestyle bloggers tend to have more to blog about when more things happen but, for me, I just get overwhelmed.


duck face

I haven’t done duck face in years, honest. So it’s totally time for one!


After barely recovering from severe jet lag, I got hit by a cold. At the same time, Piers and I were frantically scraping my UK visa application together. It’s a hair-yanking, eyeball-exploding task for the hundreds of documents we have to scrounge up from every hidden corner of earth and the amount of history I have to dredge up from the dimmest recesses of my cobwebbed memory bank.

And, to top that all off, Piers and I decided to add to our overflowing cauldron of stress by getting married.


Piers and Sheylara


Uh huh.

I won’t talk about it in detail because we got married without fuss in Singapore in order to strengthen my case for a UK visa. The visa costs $1,787 (£892) so there is a lot invested to justify the extreme lengths we had to go to to ensure a positive result.

Of course, it also felt right. We’ve already been dating (living together) for two and a half years and can’t imagine life without each other. Aww.

We’ll have a proper wedding in England next year so I’ll blog about that instead, if I haven’t died from stress then.

But it’s all good and relaxed now, apart from the fact that my newly-made husband had to go back to England five days after our marriage, while I stay in Singapore to wait for my visa.

Okay, I really hate the word husband. It’s such an unwieldy, ugly word. Someone ought to come up with a better word for it. Something easy on the lips, like, I dunno, man?

They always say “I now pronounce you man and wife” anyway, which is possibly a bit sexist (or illogical?) but I’m not a feminist so I don’t care.


Man and wife


Hubs and hubby are equally stupid words so I refuse to use them. Spouse is just as bad.

The Chinese versions are even worse: “Lao gong” and “lao po”, meaning literally “old grandfather” and “old grandmother”. Those are kind of colloquial, but the formal words (“zhang fu” and “qi zi”) actually sound more yucky.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me; a subconscious rebellion against the institution of marriage. But I tend to be very sensitive to the way words sound so it is more likely just coincidence that all the words in the marriage category offend me.

I mean, I don’t like many other random words too, for example, “poignant” and “tonsure”, so it’s not a selective discrimination.


Sticks and stones etc.


So, after I receive my visa, which could be months from now, I will fly back to England to get all stressed up again with house-hunting and wedding-planning.

Yay. Can’t wait.

In the meantime, I suppose I can relax a bit, play a lot of stupid iPad games, eat a lot of seaweed shaker fries, and think of names for our future children, who will, hopefully, not inherit my stupid sensitivity to word sounds.

My life will be as unexciting as a bricked iPad in the next couple of months but I will try and pretend that it’s exciting by digging up old stuff to blog about.

Or not. Depends on my mood.

Now, your comments can influence my mood, so comment away! :)

33 thoughts on “The marriage post

  1. Avatar

    Congrats you two!!! :D May God bless your marriage. As your “senior” in marriage (LOL), I’d like to give you an advice, that real marriage is not what we may have seen in movies or Disney cartoons. :D Marriage is bumpy and it’s a journey of happiness and sadness altogether. But this what I’d say to you, that there is no such thing as “unsolved problems” in life. Every problem is solvable, and it’s just a matter of putting down our ego… :) So, hop on aboard, and let’s enjoy the joyride! :D Hehehe…

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    @Christina: Yeah, those definitely sound better, but I don’t want to use abbreviations and saying the whole thing is kinda silly too. Thanks, by the way! :)

    @Andrew: Thank you for your words of wisdom and congratulations! :P

    @Ivy: Thanks!!

  3. Avatar

    Congratulations to you and Piers! I feel the same way as you do about calling our partners hubby or hubs. I still find it strange calling Cartcart as “my husband”. I just call him … Cart.

  4. Avatar

    @Jayden: Thank you! Yeah, I’ll just probably call him my man. Haha.

    @Jimmy: Thank you very much!

    @Siena: Thank you from me and my other half! Hehe. :P

    @rinaz: Haha… wow, and you have been married for years, haven’t you? And thanks!!! :)

  5. Avatar

    Wow, congrats. That really brighten my mood.

    How about Ah Lao, Oooi or Wei as replacement words for husband? My wife use those on me :(

  6. Avatar

    Oh wow Congratulations!!! Wishing you guys a blessed marriage :) Btw, shouldn’t your visa be much easier now since you guys are married? Why do you still have to wait months to go back to the UK?

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    Congrats Shey!!! Finally a big red bomd us chinese called! And good luck! Not that u needed it anyway coz ur already so lucky to have found Piers!

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    @Sheylara: Whoa, that came out of nowhere! I mean, sure we saw it coming, but its just so you to announce it in your signature subtle style:D Congratulations, my pal! May you and Piers be blessed in the path you’ve chosen to walk together:) and to Piers: Well played, Englishman, well played indeed, Sir.

  9. Avatar

    Congratulations to both you and Piers! I am hoping and praying for the very best for you two.

    I really wish you the very best, Sheylara and hope you find everything you are looking for.

    I hope the UK visa office is speedy and gets your visa to you quickly. I know how long these things can take (from experience).

    I will peak in here in from time to time to see how things are going with you.

    Take care and always remember that it’s all about you…..even when most times it’s really about the durian. :)

  10. Avatar

    @Tiger4: Haha… very endearing terms your wife calls you. :P

    @Daphne: Yes, I like “that guy at home”. Very easy words. Is that what you call yours? Hehe. :) Yes, definitely need to meet up!

    @Sam: Yeah, partner is an okay sounding word, although it’s a bit vague cos there are so many different kinds of partners, like business partner!

    @DJSkyler: Thank you, aww. Definitely not cutest though but thanks all the same. :P

    @Bel: Thank you! For visas, married partners and unmarried partners fall in the same category so we would go into the same queue and get processed the same way!

    @JayWalk: Thanks!

    @Felixia: Haha, thank you. :)

    @RN1209: Thank you! I like that it still came as a surprise even though you were expecting it! lol.

  11. Avatar

    @Pepper: Thanks for you all your well wishes! You mean to remember it’s all about me when we’re having married couple arguments? Hehe. :P You need to tell him that! lol.

  12. Avatar

    A feminist is someone who demands equal rights for both man and woman. If you feel that men are superior and can treat women like they’re of a lower status then yup, you are not a feminist. Please understand what a word means before just declaring that you are not a feminist because that is just offensive. And dumb.

    Have a happy marriage tho!

  13. Avatar

    @Hay: I’m sorry that you feel offended about someone declaring a non-feminist stance. But you are right that I didn’t use the term entirely correctly. What I really meant was “extreme and radical feminist” which I feel too many feminists have become, thus sullying the original term. It was wrong of me to forget to include the modifying adjectives.

    But thank you for your well wishes. It means a lot to an offensive, dumb and inferior person like me to receive blessings from a clearly enlightened and modern feminist. :)

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