Long distance relationships — easier but still tough

Wow, Piers and I are quite overwhelmed by the number of well wishes that have come to us through my blog comments as well as through Twitter, Facebook and Plurk!

Wanna thank everyone for your support and well wishes! We didn’t imagine that people would be so very encouraging, so we really appreciate it very much!


Piers says thanks!


Sheylara says thanks!


Piers is really happy. He says I’ve got such nice readers (heheh) and he feels touched by the unexpected reaction.

Well, me too! I think I have nice readers too! =D

Some of you are nuts, though.

We’ve only just started dating and already people talking about marriage and babies.

For example.



[Click to view thread]



Anyway, long distance relationships are easier to handle these days. I was in one long ago when there was only e-mail and IRC.

Now, we have webcam and mobile Gtalk/MSN, so we can stay connected and see each other practically all the time. Except during each other’s sleeping hours since we’re seven hours apart. (Not so bad.)

And we’ll have Facetime once Piers gets his iPad 2! =D

After I got mine, he decided he wanted one (cos I tempted him by showing him Real Racing 2, lol) so we went back to the store but there was never any stocks left.

We kept going back there and calling them up for a whole week until he finally gave up and just ordered online. He’ll only get it in May, so we have quite a wait.

Time drags when you’re in an LDR.


Sheylara and Piers


Even with instant communication and virtual meetings, it’s still tough.

I keep wondering what it is about people that makes them need actual physical proximity.

Even with friends, you want to go out and meet them physically. Even if, when you meet, all you do is sit in a cafe and chat.

But it’s just chat! You can do that online at home, like you sometimes have group MSN conferences with friends during slow days at work. Or you chat on voice comms when you’re playing an online game together.

And yet people still yearn to meet up in person after all that interaction online.

So what more lovers?

Wonder what kind of chemical or wiring in us induces that kind of crazy need.


Piers and Sheylara


I met up with Piers for lunch once on a work day. It was nice being able to see him in the day and not have to wait till he knocked off from work.

Took the bus to his office (about 20 minutes’ ride) and had a leisurely meal at a nearby cafe.

I met his colleagues briefly and I think they teased him about us afterwards. Haha. I think they read my blog. (Hi Steve, David, Charles and James!)

Piers has gotten a lot more teasings than I have about our relationship. Like from his colleagues, friends and family. Maybe because he appears on my blog so much.

Quite a hazard being my boyfriend.

Lucky he’s nice enough to put up with it! =D

We’re planning to see each other again next month. Really can’t wait any longer! Not sure who’s going to whom cos my schedule isn’t firm yet.

But, yeah, LDRs are tough.




I think he will really kill me for that picture! =P


15 thoughts on “Long distance relationships — easier but still tough

  1. Avatar

    You are very fortunate to have nice readers. Some people like me get immature trolls and nutcases commenting on their blog. And engaging in Virtual Bullying to me when I have done nothing to them.

    Nothing can replace Face to Face contact, interactions and behaviors. There are lots of thing technology still cannot do to connect people.

    Have a good life

  2. Avatar

    It’s because people can tell you guys are really happy together!!! My guess is that it’s a girl! Lol!
    Also, thanks Piers for commenting on my blog and reminding me of the Coca Cola slogan. It’s so funny it’ll make a great end to the post! :)

  3. Avatar


    I’m so so happy for you! Well, I’ve been through a LDR and survived it and married the guy. After getting married, I packed my bags to study and yet again survived it. Now, he travels and we have a kid and yes, still surviving. I believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And in our case, it surely does. I’m sure you both can make it! So so so excited! Going to teach and practise with Josias how to hold the rings!

  4. Avatar

    I’ve been in LDR and it didn’t work. I won’t say it won’t work for all but I have to be honest that I’m skeptical about it.

    The key I think is to think about your own personality. I used to have a Caucasian lecturer who taught in Singapore but his wife and kids were in Australia. And they were like this for 2 years! I think he might have met up with them in that span of time, but only like 2 or 3 times perhaps. BUT… In 2 years???! That’s crazy. For me.

    I also have a colleague who seems to live a “detached” lifestyle. In that, he often goes traveling and does things alone despite his wife living with him. They almost lead separate lives but they are proclaimed “married”. If you ask me, I’d say that’s crazy too.

    To me, one wants to be attached (be it as gf-bf or married couple) cos you want to be PHYSICALLY close with the person you love. And most likely, the 2 of you want to do things you enjoy together.

    Being physically separated (for long, especially) and claim that Well, you’ve got the Internet, etc is just Well, consoling yourself? In that case, I’m wondering, why get attached in the first place anyway? One can lead a very meaningful lifestyle with strangers of similar or opposite sex anywhere in the world, at anytime! Imagine, you’ll have countless good friends with no strings attached.

    I don’t think I’m traditional in my thinking. But I have to admit the notion of “true love” has been very watered down in our “new century” of living. People get into and out of a relationship all too easily (in a matter of days and months!). Worse, some divorce so easily and then re-marry like nobody’s business.

    Like Sheylara, I used to justify my LDR will last. Nothing could stop us from being together. We were still young, I’d protest! Who needed physical presence, blah blah. I pushed away naysayers. But later, reality struck. I knew it was just impossible to maintain one despite having the best in technology. The lack of physical presence, distractions (from work and new people we meet) and precious time together just made us drift apart.

    You are likely in the honeymoon stage, like in any other early relationships in the past. Everything is seen thru rose-tinted glasses. But you have to face reality and many hard issues when the time comes.

    I’m not being a wet blanket here. Just relating my experience. I believe the only way for Sheylara and Piers to maintain the LDR is to fly often to meet each other and ultimately, you guys got to consider migrating to either country. It may still be a farfetched prospect but definitely something you got to prepare yourself. Unless, like my colleague of former lecturer, you want to lead lives apart or do things by yourself. Seriously, I say again, I can’t appreciate such a relationship. :)

    Good luck!

  5. Avatar


    I was with my boyfriend for 10 years before we got married. Out of the 10 years, we were apart for maybe 4 years, we used to meet up twice a year. We were studying in different parts of Australia. After getting married, I left for Australia once again after being married for 2 years or so, I packed up once again to study for 10 months. Got back to Spore and then left again after 8 months to work in Hong Kong. Husband joined me in HK after about 2 months. In Dec 2009, husband went back to Spore to work. He was there from Dec 09 till Aug 10. In Dec 09 to Aug 10, we flew up and down a lot. Almost once a month, one of us would make the flight even if it’s for just 40 hours to be with each other. We’ve been married for 9 years now. Thankfully, he’s working in HK now and he travels at least once a month now. Yes, it can work if both parties are willing to work it out. Sheylara knows me personally and she knows my husband too. Well, she was actually my bridesmaid. She knew us even before we started to date. She has seen us work and not work and she has seen the tears of sadness and heartbreak and the joys too. I believe ultimately, it can work if there is a commitment to it. There has to be sacrifices and if you ask me, the sacrifices are worth it.

  6. Avatar

    My two cents worth :-

    Nobody says LDR is easy. In actual fact… being in a relationship isnt easy. 1st you need to get to know that person you thought you might love and then reality sets in… daily life, habits, differences etc.

    What’s more when you are in love with someone of a different culture? It makes a relationship even more challenging… be it locally or LDR. My BF is a dutch and the language barrier with his family… the cultural difference.. almost kill me! But i survived that.. since singapore are really quite multi cultural.. :)

    I am in a LDR and yes its freaking hard..I hate it when we are apart but the moment we are together… its just bliss! We both can’t let go. And today… we have been connected for 1.5 year now and still going strong. I guess the couple has to work out later.. who would eventually move to be with the other.

    So its not the distance… its how 2 person connects. Nothing last forever anyway… just enjoy the journey! :)

  7. Avatar

    @Duelist: Wow, sorry to hear you have trolls and immature people on your blog. Well, I get them sometimes, but not so much. I have a lot more nice readers, so very thankful for that! :) And thanks for your well wishes!

    @Aerlinneil: lol you really are mah!!! :P

    @Belly B: Haha, really? You can tell from the pictures or what? Anyway, really appreciate your support! :)

    @Faith: Thanks, monster!! So happy for you too that you ended up with the love of your life! :) Erm… what… stop talking about marriage, you guys! lol.

    @david-wendy: As valid as your concerns may be, they don’t fit with my situation with Piers right now. We’re not choosing to be physically separated. If we could, we certainly would wanna be stuck together forever. But that just can’t happen right now cos of our respective responsibilities in our own countries. We’ve already made plans to see each other another 4-5 months within this year. And already planning how we can be together permanently, soon. :D

    @Jazz: Thanks for sharing your story! So nice to hear of other people being in love and all the best with your dutch bf! :)

  8. Avatar

    I think it is better the way you are doing things. There is no hurry. Sometimes the travelling back and forward to see each other makes you analyze and considerate everything before making any great move..(moving permanently, getting married..etc). Hope it works the best for both. Buena suerte !

  9. Avatar

    I’ve got a solution for you. Ask Piers to work in Sing. Provided he doesn’t mind. Yup, another foreign talent. Easy to get PR, and citizenship. Then you can be happy also!

    Otherwise, you got to think about moving over to his side. If you are sure he’s the one for you.

    Cos it’s always like that in the beginning. Very lovey dovey… You know, you have thoughts like Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now, We know we are meant for each other, distance doesn’t mean anything, etc etc. No matter who tells you what on the contrary, you will 101% choose not to believe him or her.

    That’s cool also. It’s an experience anyway.

    Important thing is to keep focus if you want to make it work. Cos in your case, it’s not a LDR where say, one’s gf or bf studies abroad, and will likely come back after 1,2,3 years or so.

    Well, we’ll see how it goes. :)

    All the best!

  10. Avatar

    You guys look really sweet and compatible together! Makes one go awwwww! Haha. Anw have faith in each other always n it’ll definitely work out no matter what!:)

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    @Stephanie: Yup, there is no hurry to make any long term plans, but I think there is a hurry to see each other as often as possible! :P

    @Stan: LOL. Got any clubs we can join? :P

    @draz: Thanks for your suggestions. We’ve kinda explored all the many possible different ways we can be together already! :P

    @Krusty: Thank you! :)

    @Zin: *blush* Thanks. :P

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