It was that huge statue in a cheap suit of armor that first got us curious about The King Louis Grill & Bar at VivoCity.

The statue was standing in a rather prominent spot in VivoCity, holding a sword and accompany a large poster detailing the merits of the restaurant it was endorsing.

The food in the pictures looked really good. Meat. Thick slabs of juicy, tantalising meat. Loads of meat.

And there was a 3-for-2 beer promo which decided the boys.

So up we went to The King Louis.

It is supposedly a restaurant serving medieval English royalty cuisine.

The menu looks good enough. There are royal banquet sets for knights and queens, as well as individual ala carte items.

But I’m sure medieval royalty had dishes a lot more creative than what we saw on the menu. They probably had dishes along the lines of Honey-coated Roast Rabbit Stuffed With Exotic Pear and Aged Cheese.

Still, I am generally quite happy sticking to commoner dishes like Just A Regular Rib-Eye Steak, so it didn’t bother me too much that The King Louis didn’t quite deliver its promise of feeding us like medieval royalty.

The decor is a little cheesy if you want my opinion. The furniture looks more Western Cowboy Tavern than Medieval England Court to me. The only things that vaguely pass off as medieval are the fake knights wearing plates of cheap, hammered steel.

And there are TV monitors surrounding the restaurant.

“Oh, look! Medieval TV!” said Unker Kell.

He pointed at one particular TV in a corner. The screen was doing funny stuff, alternating between colourful fuzz and techno-funk lines performing synchronised dance.

Impressive.

But despite questionable decor and misleading advertisements, we found the food pretty decent. Three of us shared a Knight’s Banquet at a reasonable price of $45.90.

For an additional $10, we could receive two soups, two drinks and dessert.

I mean, the meats weren’t to-die-for or anything, but they were tasty enough that I wouldn’t mind going back there again. I love mixed platters where you get all kinds of meat.

Only the pork was disappointing because it was overcooked, too tough and dry. The beef and chicken were reasonably good. The potato wedges were crispy and tasty. The pineapple and apple slices were inedible, being quite bland. All their juices must have seeped out during the cooking.

The meal was just enough for the three of us.

I particularly liked the very large fork that come sitting on the platter.

When it was time for us to receive our dessert, I was excited to discover what “King Louis Assorted Pastries” we were going to get.

Turned out it was this:

I asked our server, “THIS is assorted pastries?”

She smiled without any hint of irony and said brightly, “Yes.”

Oh, well, at least the staff was cheerful and friendly.

The staff was made up of young ladies dressed in black t-shirts and black pants with very common-looking aprons and — get this — wearing cheap tiaras on their heads with their hair unceremoniously tied up.

It was wrong on two counts.

Firstly, tiaras should go with gowns, not lousy tshirts and pants with cheap aprons.

Secondly, tiaras are supposed to belong on princesses, and princesses are not waitresses, period.

It would be a better experience for diners if the waitresses are dressed like medieval serving wenches. You can easily get these costumes at costume shops.

Although you’d have to dirty them up a bit to make them look more realistic. I mean the dresses, not the wenches. Although I can imagine serving wenches being quite grimy after hours of serving food.

For a themed restaurant, overall, not enough effort has been made to stay faithful to the theme. Foodwise, it’s reasonable. The cheesecake was actually really good. Secret Recipe standard.

Just don’t order beer.

Our boys got the “3 beers for the price of 2” promo, right? It turned out that their three beers cost $40. Each pint of Stella Artois goes for $20 there.

According to the boys, $40 is a normal price to pay for three pints of beer at most drinking places, anyway. Some promotion that was.

We’d still go back, though. We want to try the meat+seafood banquet, next. And I’m still hoping the wait staff uniforms will get better.

The King Louis Grill & Bar is at #03-07A VivoCity (beside Daiso).