If Agnes doesn’t make you go “aww”, you’re not human

I am officially conferring the “Cutest Thing in the World” title to Agnes from Despicable Me. I don’t think I’ll be the only one to do so. The precocious 3D-animated girl has stolen the hearts of audiences all over the world.

I’m deadly serious when I say I’ve never seen anything quite as cute as Agnes. I mean, I go “awww” at cute things pretty often since I find many things cute.

But Agnes is on a separate level altogether. She’s the absolute deity of cute. There’s nothing that could possibly compare in cuteness to her. Which is why I felt compelled to do a hasty montage of her cutest moments. (Pictures all taken from the Agnes Facebook fan page)

Agnes from Despicable Me

I could just eat her up, SHE’S SO FLUFFY!!!

If she doesn’t tug at your heartstrings (especially when you’re watching the movie), YOU’RE NOT HUMAN.

So, if you haven’t watched Despicable Me, I will tell you now that Agnes alone is worth the price of admission. She is worth the price of at least three admissions, in fact, because I am planning to watch the movie at least two more times.

This YouTube clip I’ve watched about a gadzillion times. It’s a good thing the Goonfather loves Agnes, too, or he’d kill me for playing this clip nonstop every day.

How can anything be THIS cute? It’s inconceivable!

When I was watching the movie in the cinema, the lady sitting next to me wouldn’t stop going “awwww” every time Agnes did something cute. It was mildly annoying, but I could empathise with her need to express her love for the little tyke, so I forgave her and didn’t make a fuss.

Agnes ought to have her own movie. She ought to have her own TV series. She ought to have her own talk show!

She is infinitely cuter than Boo from Monsters Inc. And I did like Boo very much, almost buying a Boo doll.

There’s an Agnes doll already on sale, but it’s not cute. Doesn’t look like the movie Agnes. Very disappointing, that. =(

Happily, the little actress who provided the voice of Agnes is also a cutie herself. I don’t know if I could handle it if Agnes’ voice were to come from a less-than-cute person. Maybe that’s rather shallow, but cute must go with cute, no?

Elsie Fisher

Okay, I’d better talk a bit about the movie itself. I suppose it’s entertaining enough. It’s got a good story about villains trying to take over the world. The pace is fast enough so it doesn’t get boring. And it’s got cute little critters in it that look like medicine capsules.

But I wouldn’t watch it if Agnes weren’t in there, because it would be just another children’s cartoon show and I’m not really into 3D animation cartoons in the first place.

Now, I know some of you are going to come up with some lame theory about how my gushing over Agnes means my maternal instincts are kicking in so that means I need to have a baby or something.

WRONG.

Nothing could be more wrong than that.

Because, now that there is Agnes, there could be no other! I mean, I know there is no possibility of me (or anyone) ever having a baby that could come close to being as cute as Agnes, so, you know, it’s not going to work. If I ever had a baby, I’d want to trade it in for Agnes. But that’s not possible, is it? So, no baby. Nope.

There. I’ve said it. Now go watch the movie! Again! =)

15 thoughts on “If Agnes doesn’t make you go “aww”, you’re not human

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    I’m a 52 y/o man who is infatuated with Agnes. It’s so sweet when Gru doesn’t have any money for the moon and she offers her piggybank to help. That makes me want to cry that baby girl would offer all the money that she had.(it looked like only a couple of pennies when Gru opened it up). If you were real and i could have you i would be your daddy. I would cuddle with you and kiss you all day long. It would practically take a crowbar to seperate me from you honey. It’s so cute when Gru can’t get Agnes off of his leg and she ends upside down while he is walking. Baby girls legs are so little that she can’t keep the big unicorn off of the ground. It goes bump..bump..bump. (it’s bigger than she is and Gru should have carried it for the frustrated baby girl). Finally, i liked it when baby girl did her little dance moves to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack LOL. Maybe youll be on dancing with the stars honey LOL. Anyway, i hope to see you in another movie someday baby. BYE HONEY!!! OXOXOXOOOXOXOXOOXO

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    The cartoon people would be crazy not to have a cartoon thats about Agnes. They would sell millions of toys and boxes of cereal during the tv commercials for sure.

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    You say that you don’t have maternal instincts but i do have paternal ones. That is the absolute truth. I think about little ones constantly and Agnes only reinforces my feelings all the more.

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    Ok, that Gary guy seemed creepy as hell… O.o Calling Agnes ‘baby girl’ almost every sentence. Yeah, she’s über adorable. Yes, it’s ok to point out things you noticed while watching the movie, but good God, put a lid on it… Inappropriate doesn’t seem like strong enough a word… :/

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