Why do I always get depressed for no reason? What makes me happy?
Full disclosure in this week’s Star Blog!
Well, okay, not really full disclosure. That would be an entire book. Since netizens have no patience to read whole books, I’ve settled for a long essay, instead.
(We’re told to name 10 items that make up our personal happiness index. You might have noticed by now that 10 is always the magic number in Star Blog posts.)
So, for the topic of “What’s your personal happiness index?” I’ve drawn this diagram which should clearly demonstrate to you what I had for breakfast this morning.
I was just joking, of course. I hope you didn’t really look too hard to find any breakfast items in the drawing. I had a Ho Kee rice dumpling if you really want to know.
What the diagram should clearly demonstrate to you is that I have no talent for drawing or making diagrams of any sort and that I shouldn’t quit my day job yet (to overuse a cliché which isn’t even relevant to me.)
Since I’ve already written an essay about this for Star Blog, I don’t want to write another.
Please click here to read it. NOW. Because you feel terribly compelled to click this for no apparent reason but that you just MUST. CLICK. IT.
7 thoughts on “I am a yo-yo on anti-gravity drugs”
Ooooooh! A clickie!
Hey, I used to be a lot like you, I wonder if you have considered talking to your doctor? Also, have you checked to see if things like depression run in your family?
Towards the end of highschool and for a few years afterwards I had crazy mood swings too. Sometimes it was okay, coz honestly, the highs can be great, but then I’d just get so sick of the depression side. I saw a counsellor for a few years and tried my best but it came back. After 6 years of dealing with crazy moods I went to my doctor and just started crying. She tried me on a few antidepressants (though I really didn’t want drugs!!) and one called Effexor ended up working really well for me. So well in fact that my life has totally turned around. I’m no longer debilitated by my moods.
If you have any questions about what I’ve talked about then you’re welcome to contact me. :) Please do get some help because things can get better. I understand how tough it is. *big hugs!!*
Thanks for wanting to help, Amanda. :)
Yes, I have considered seeing a doctor about this. For years and years. But I guess I’m resistant because I don’t want to be changed by drugs. Then it would be like I’m not really me anymore? “Fake” and “shell” are terms that come to mind here. :(
I’ll only probably do it if someone dragged me there and paid my medical bills. :P
I totally understand! I used to feel the same way but it’s not like being totally emotionless or anything like that. I’m on the lowest dose that they have because it wasn’t like bipolar or anything, just too up and down. I can still be really happy or really sad but when it’s appropriate. Before my moods dictated the way I saw the world instead of the other way around. I’m definitely still me. ^_^
Even after I reluctantly started taking them I was thinking about when I could stop taking them. That was until I found out that my grandad is on exactly the same medication. So now I see this as something that runs in the family, it’s totally out of my control because it’s probably some kind of chemical imbalance that I was born with. My boyfriend has a crappy immune system and takes vitamins everyday so he doesn’t get sick. Even though I guess the “real” him would get sick, being sick sucks, so it makes sense to take medicine. So maybe the “real” me spends 3 days a week crying and wondering about the meaning of life but it really isn’t very productive!
Anyway, I don’t want to try and push you into anything. If your moods start impacting on your life in a really negative way it sounds like you would seek help so that’s the most important thing. :)
Hmm, okay. What you said makes a lot of sense. Thanks for taking the time to share that. I will consider seeing a doctor if it gets really bad.
The other thing stopping me is the cost of consultation and drugs. :P I could, like, use the same money to do something that would make me happy, even if it’s just temporary happiness. Heh.
@Sheylara: Glad to hear that this week has been alright for you so far:D Only a couple of days to go, and the cycle will begin anew!:)