So, the other day, Nanny Wen invited Unker Kell to bring his drill to her new place.
She needed one, she said, to make holes in her wall for her wall shelf or something.
The Goonfather and I tagged along to witness the making of holes. What we witnessed from the first was a half-mantled Ikea wardrobe (“mantled” being the opposite of “dismantled”, which I feel is the right word to use here even if it’s theoretically wrong) in her bedroom, lying on its side.
(Here’s Unker Kell attempting to save the wardrobe from being mishandled:)
On top of the budding wardrobe we saw a tool box the size of a mobile phone. WHEN IT’S OPEN.
Presumably, Wen had been trying to make furniture using screwdrivers smaller than her pinkie.
The guys made a big show of groaning at the outrage, after which Unker Kell set to work putting things right while the Goonfather found a new use for the baby tools — fixing his watch.
All was good until Unker Kell finished up with the wardrobe and was going to start on the drilling.
The Goonfather decided then that it was a good time to come to the rescue. He had a leveling tool he just downloaded on his iPhone called iHandy Level. It’s supposde to help you make, like, your wall paintings or whatever straight.
Excitedly, because this was the first time he was using the app, the Goonfather measured two spots on the wall for Unker Kell to mark. Once marked, the drilling started.
All this time, I was outside, working on blogs. And, suddenly, I heard Wen call out to me, “QY COME HERE!!!”
I went inside. Wen pointed at her newly erected shelf and said, “Does this look straight to you?”
It was an obvious no. It was slanted like 10cm off. The boys were giggling. Or, rather, trying very hard not to giggle.
The Goonfather said, “But the tool can’t lie. It must be straight.”
Wen said, “It is obviously not straight!!”
The Goonfather said, “Then must be your floor is not straight!”
Anyway, he later realised that iHandy Level has to be calibrated once before use. Fortunately, the slant was so pronounced that there was actually enough space for Unker Kell to drill another hole above the wrong one, so the shelf was put to rights without much incident thereafter.
It’s so good to have guys around to do all this man stuff for us, no?