The Goonfather is your science teacher

Having supper with the Goonfather and Unker Kell.

Unker Kell was telling us about his new job at the Singapore Science Centre and the Goonfather was teasing him about how he’s going to get bugged by kids asking him questions all day (even though it isn’t that kind of job).

Singapore Science Centre

“What are you gonna say if they ask you why E=MC2?” the Goonfather wanted to know.

At which point Unker Kell actually launched into a speech about energy and mass having a party, or something like that, I don’t know, physics has never made sense to me.

The Goonfather interrupted him.

“No, no,” he said. “You must tell them this:

“E=MC2, right? Now, E is the elephant. On the other side of the equation, you have the monkey and the cheetah. What you need to do is mate the monkey with the cheetah to produce twins, and then when you combine everything, it is equivalent to the elephant.”


There was a stunned silence for a moment.

And then pandemonium. By way of me spilling chilli sauce all over myself because my body suddenly decided to laugh very violently.

Unker Kell offered the Goonfather a finger and a descriptive word.

I told the Goonfather, “I think you should be a teacher.”

Which prompted a discussion on how our future generation will be made of morons if the Goonfather were to became a teacher.

But we agreed that the kids would love him.

“‘Cher! Why does one plus one equal two?” teased Unker Kell.

“No, no, no,” said the Goonfather. “The question is not why, but how one plus one equals two.”

1 + 1 = 2

More spilled chilli sauce. More laughter. Even though it wasn’t even all that funny when you really thought about it.

The Goonfather, putting on his teacher face and affecting a teacher voice, went on to explain, “I want you to take out a ruler.

“First, I want you to measure the length of the number one. Okay?

“Then, you measure the length of the other number one. Got it?

“Now, I want you to measure the length of the number two. Right?

“Finally, you will see that the combined length of both ones is the same as the length of the two. That is why 1 + 1 = 2.”

9 thoughts on “The Goonfather is your science teacher

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    “Cher! Why 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 10? No matter how I measure I still don’t understand.”

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