The Goonfather loves receiving calls from telemarketers. They’re worth a good 15 minutes of entertainment to him, at the very least.
You’ve read how the Goonfather foiled two of them. Now, here’s a different case.
This telemarketer was quite privileged not to have received the fabled Goonfather Treatment… but that was because he was entertaining enough on his own. He managed to make the Goonfather quite speechless, instead!
Telemarketer: Good afternoon, sir.
The Goonfather: Yo!
Telemarketer: I am calling on behalf of Standard Chartered. Is it convenient to talk to you at the moment?
The Goonfather: Wassup?
Telemarketer: Sir, I would like to inform you that you are entitled to a loan of four times your monthly income. How does that sound?
The Goonfather: Do I have to pay back?
Telemarketer: Haha… of course!
The Goonfather: Not interested…
Telemarketer: Sir, the loan has an incredible low interest of 0.XXX% per month.
The Goonfather: Hmm… and that is how many % per annum?
Telemarketer: About 3.XX%.
The Goonfather: Oh. Nah… I don’t need the money.
Telemarketer: Sir, why not you give it a try?
The Goonfather: No, I don’t need the money.
Telemarketer: You can use it to pay your outstanding credit card bills.
The Goonfather: My credit card bill has a balance of $0. I don’t need the money.
Telemarketer: Just give it a try, you may like it.
The Goonfather: Er… if you give me the money without needing me to pay it back, I would love it. But why would I want to take the money and pay interest when I don’t even need the money?
Telemarketer: Sir, just give it a try.
The Goonfather: No, I am fine. I am not in need of money.
Telemarketer: Give it a try. If you don’t like it, you can return the money within seven days.
The Goonfather: Er… you selling me loan or camera??
To borrow a pet phrase of Xiaxue‘s… KUA KUA KUA!
Sorry I had to do that, but this is really a kua kua kua moment, is it not?
The Goonfather asks, “Do people borrow money from banks to use as a fashion accessory nowadays? Like, they put a thick chunk of notes in their wallets to look good? And if they don’t like it, they can return to the bank at no cost?”
Ladies, if you’re out on a first date and your date’s wallet looks exceptionally fat, you might want to keep the awe in check for a bit.