Congratulations! You have stumbled upon the first instalment of my weekly gaming column, the express purpose of which is to force you to become a gamer (if you aren’t already one).

Yes, I’m going to be like one of those overbearing religious zealots who stare at you meaningfully before attempting to scare you with a hysterical declaration, “You will go to hell if you don’t worship The Almighty Hopping Chimpanzee With Only One Leg.”

Not.

The purpose of this column is really to serve you (and also to give me an excuse to play games), thus the name: Gamer Girl Friday, which is a very clever title with multiple meanings.

For some reason, I get a lot of e-mails asking me for gaming advice, which leads me to believe that people really need a Gamer Girl Friday to make them the proverbial coffee.

Okay, there’s really no proverbial coffee; I made that up; but you might want to get some real coffee to sip while you read. This column is massive (compared to my normal blogs lah).

To my non-gaming readers, don’t go away yet. This isn’t just about games, it’s also about my life. Stick around and be entertained!

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Table of Contents

1. Rock Band: Destroying good songs since 07
2. Playing Age of Conan for the boobies
3. Ninja girl strikes again
4. Gamers are future business leaders
5. Ask Sheylara
6. Second-hand DS Lite for sale
7. Win Grand Theft Auto IV stuff!

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Rock Band: Destroying good songs since 07

First, there was Minus One. Then came karaoke. Now, there’s Rock Band.

Some of the best rock songs in the world are getting a total overhaul in the nether direction. Watch and weep. (And these are my friends, too. Gawd.)

The main problem is that most of us don’t know most of the songs in the game, so whoever’s singing has to wing it by following the pitch indicator on the screen. The result is often hilarious.

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Playing Age of Conan for the boobies

It’s quite amazing the amount of hype Age of Conan is garnering. With VIP release just one day away and mass public release four days away, fans are starting to foam at the mouth.

I’ll bet a huge number of guys are playing the game for the boobs. For the first time ever, a fantasy MMORPG allows you to run around completely topless. And these are sexy, pretty avatars we’re talking about, not the half-baked crap you get in, say, Second Life.

Sorry, I had to put a censor bar over her… assets.

I’ll also bet that AoC will break all world records for having the most female characters created in one game, ever. And 70% of them by men.

AoC staff compiled a list of Top 10 Things Heard During The AoC Open Beta. Guess what the list looks like? Click on the link. I’m not posting it here because it makes my monitor blush.

I think it’s going to be very easy to tell in AoC who the male players playing female avatars are.

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Ninja girl strikes again

Today is the last day the ninja patrol tourist attraction pose squad will be terrorising your public space!

After today, you won’t see us again until the Ninja Gaiden II official launch event on June 3rd at Funan DigitaLife Mall! (Stupid Funan, keep changing name dunno how many zillion times already!!)

You still have two weeks to pre-order the game to get attractive Ninja Gaiden II premiums. I know many of you are waiting for preorder numbers to hit 500 or 1,000 before you order so that you can be sure of getting the 2nd and 3rd tier premiums.

But if everyone thinks this way, then HOW THE HECK IS IT EVER GONNA HIT THE 2ND AND 3RD TIER? People, stop thinking and start ordering!

Oh, yes. And catch the ninja patrol today at these locations:

12pm—1pm: Raffles Green
2pm—3pm: Plaza Singapura
4pm—5pm: Bugis

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Gamers are future business leaders

So says this paper published by a few hotshot professors. According to their research, multiplayer online games are proving to be a great tool for training future business leaders.

I’ve always believed MMORPGs to be a great training ground for the working world, so it’s nice to know that my views are being validated. It’s a really long article (7 pages) but go read it because it’s very interesting, especially if you play MMORPGs.

After the Goonfather read it, he said, “I think I’m gonna put this on my work resume:

“Mar 2005 – May 2006 Valorian Vanguard guild leader in EverQuest II, leading an approximate 118 members.”

ROFLMAO.

The Goonfather, aka Silvermist, shows off his leet leadership skillz to Sheylara in EverQuest II by pulling a whole camp of gnolls.

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Ask Sheylara

Ask me any gaming-related questions! Post them in the comments or e-mail me, I don’t really care. I will try to answer all questions (unless I get like 500 questions a day). Best questions will be published in the next GGF.

Anthony Goh asks a PSP question:

My nephew has problems playing games on his PSP. When he tries to play, he never goes on to the next level. In some games, he just goes round and round. I’ve tried to find instructions online but nothing was found. Any good websites to recommend?

Sheylara Says:

This is the first time I’m hearing of such a problem. How old is your nephew? If he’s above five, he should be able to Google his own solutions. If he doesn’t know what Google is, he has no business playing the PSP.

In any case, one of my favourite places to go to for help is GameFAQs. It has guides, walkthroughs and cheats for every game and every platform you can think of. Just search for your game and follow instructions. Problem solved!

Dexter Tiah asks an Xbox 360 question:

Do you buy and play original Xbox 360 games? I am uncertain whether I should modify my Xbox 360 to play pirated games. I do not have any friends who possess an Xbox 360 so I have no one to turn to for my queries. Would you reccommend buying originals to play on Xbox Live or play pirated games on a modified set? Afterall, pirated games are a lot cheaper…

Sheylara Says:

Three reasons why you should get original:

1. Piracy is illegal. Of course, we know that most people don’t give a rat’s arse about that, but it’s still not nice to support piracy.
2. Xbox Live is cool because you can download all sorts of great content, play multiplayer, and have all your gaming achievements recorded. Go make friends with other XBL players at Brotherhood of the Box.
3. Mod sets and pirated software have all sorts of problems and complications, which are annoying. Do you want to go through that?

Nicola Reynolds asks a Wii question:

I’ve gone through your instuctions for the Japanese-to-English translation (for the Wii), which was very helpful. But what I want to do is change the language. Can you advise me how to do this? Can I do this so it’s permanently in English?

Sheylara Says:

I have received like 200 e-mails from people who’ve read my translation guide, asking me this question. I don’t know why anyone even imagines that it’s possible to change the language on the Japanese Wii. If it were possible, I wouldn’t have bothered producing the guide. I would have simply changed the language and be done with it. So, the answer is no. Sorry!

Nurul Amirah asks a Rock Band (Xbox 360) question:

When will Rock Band for Xbox 360 be available?

Sheylara Says:

Nobody knows yet. EA refuses to say. Trust the gaming companies to make us wait!

Gamer Girl Friday will answer more questions next week. Ask yours today via comments or e-mail!

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Second-hand DS Lite for sale

The Goonfather has gotten tired of his Nintendo DS Lite so I’m helping him get the word out. He bought it to play Mario party games with us (lol) but he tired of it after a month.

It has been sitting around doing nothing for two months. Duh.

It’s black, in great condition and comes with a clear protective cover. Please e-mail the Goonfather if you’re interested in buying it.

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Win Grand Theft Auto IV stuff!

I’m always getting free stuff from events, so I’ve decided to share some of them with you because you made it possible for me to get free stuff in the first place by reading my blog!

I will run a simple contest every week to give stuff away. What I give depends on what I get from future events, so keep your eyes peeled for the good stuff!

This week, I’m giving out Grand Theft Auto IV stickers and coasters. I know it’s not like very impressive or what, but I think GTA fans will like them.

I have five stickers and three coasters.

How to win them?

Just post a comment here telling me you want a sticker or a coaster. (You can only choose one!)

The first five sticker requesters and first three coaster requesters will get them. Simple, right?

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Oh. We’ve come to the end of this week’s gaming column. I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Please give me your feedback and suggestions. Gamer Girl Friday will be serving you with news, funnies and help, every Friday, till she gets tired of doing it (lol) but that won’t be for a while if most of you respond positively.

Now, get with the program and be a gamer (if you aren’t already one)!

Gamer Girl Friday signing off.