The devil got me

I sold my soul to the devil today, when I swore never to do it again.

I’m speaking metaphorically lah, what is wrong with you?

I mean, what is wrong with me. Sorry.

The devil has a three-letter name. Its name is J.O.B.

And I don’t mean a job like an acting job or a writing job or a modelling job or a temp job like I’ve been doing in the last few years, allowing me to live a relatively free-spirited life with no serious obligations.

I mean a J.O.B. with a regular salary and CPF.

[Get thee away!]

So, now, I’m staring at my PC monitor, wide-eyed, heart thumping, awash in a stupor of disbelief.

Okay, I actually did that for 15 minutes.

But that’s about all the time I can spare for frivolous self-indulgences. Because I have a J.O.B. to do.

Alright, I shall stop stringing you along before you get tired of being strung along and decide to leave.

So. I have agreed to be the editor of a new publication. (I think I’m not allowed to say what it is yet.)

*cue shocked gasps of breaths*

C’mon, humour me.

That was my old occupation, being an editor. I was an editor in a newspaper, a magazine and a web portal. But I quit eventually because I wanted to act and didn’t want to be tied down by a regular job and I didn’t like the stress of that job.

[Pencil-wielding horror]

I swore never to go back to the grind. Over the years, I rejected several related job offers.

So, why did I accept this offer?

Because it’s a very small publication and I got the impression that I’ll just need to spend like four days a month working on it.

Because it’s gaming related and sounds vaguely fun.

Because I need to re-oil my marbles.

Well, I figured that it won’t kill me to give up four days of my life each month.

And then I had a serious meeting with my boss-to-be and I started getting the idea that the job is much bigger than I expected and that I may have to spend a lot more than four days a month.

But, by then, I couldn’t back out anymore because I was hooked by the challenge.

And the money.

Which is not much, really, but the promise of extra monthly income is very attractive to someone who hasn’t been getting much of a regular income in years. (But which really shouldn’t even be a consideration considering that I’ve been happily living an income-less life all this while.)

You can tell I’m confused. Can I plead duress?

Anyway, just like that, I’m back on a payroll.

[I'll pay you in houses]

While the job will have fun elements, it will also bring the kind of unwanted stress which drove me away from my old career in the first place.

For example, I have exactly two weeks from now to work out my editorial direction and publish the first issue.

And I already had my year nicely planned out with exciting personal projects to keep me awfully busy.

But now I’m going to have to rework my priorities. Give up a few things. And get used to the fact that I don’t own myself 100% anymore.

Sure, it’s not a full-time job in that I have to sit in an office 22 days a month. I’ll just have to go for meetings and work mostly from home, but the stress will be full-time.

An editor’s job is 24/7, I suddenly remember my ex-ex-boss teaching me. It doesn’t matter the amount of time you’re doing the physical work of putting the publication together, you’re constantly monitoring trends and news and thinking six issues ahead while you work on the current issue.

I’m starting to wonder what I just signed up for.

The devil got me. After all these years.

[The devil got Sheylara]

31 thoughts on “The devil got me

  1. Avatar

    Welcome back to the land of the living dead! Just kidding. I bet it’s going to be worth it since you’ve really thought through it. You know, there are times, that I really admire your courage to really pursue a dream. I’m too gutless to give up my materialistic life to do that.

  2. Avatar

    You sound both excited and scared.

    But, be positive and strong!

    I’ll be looking forward to your first issue. ;)

  3. Avatar

    good luck on your job, i know you can do it!! everything comes for a reason… another challenge awaits you,just enjoy the journey and before you know it, you are there… We will all support you… I hope its a radically modern Gaming Magazine, which rocks… Ganbatte kudasai….

  4. Avatar

    What worst can it get, the most is get fired :D
    and you back with words ” CONTINUE?”
    what worst can it get, the most is you insert another token :D
    and you play from where you fail.

    Don’t worry much, least you will know more new people and have more fans here, steady income also means more spending power, personal dreams will get to fulfill at a faster rate. Think positive, you can do it! Full time stress? how about Full time Fun.
    @(^ _ ^)—@ FIGHTO!~

  5. Avatar

    wah I had no idea you were going to do this till now …

    Anyways, don’t beat yourself up over this. The money is always handy and you know what, you can be like me and treat this job as “waitering”.

    You are just waiting on different tables, thats all.

    So go on and do a hell of a job!

  6. Avatar

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA…. Your’re back! I knew it! The editor in you just couldn’t be squashed down!
    And if you need help oiling your marbles…

  7. Avatar

    starm|st: “Wonderful world”, huh? Haha. Thanks. Actually, not really really working life lah. I’ll be working mostly from home and only have to go out for meetings and stuff. :P I guess that’s kinda “wonderful”.

    buny: Thanks for your support!! The publication will be out in a month’s time and I will be blogging about it, of course. So, watch out for it! :)

    Wang Wang: Thanks, dear!

    JayWalk: Thanks. That’s my aim in life, to have fun in everything I do. lol.

    Monster: I would consider working life to be the “land of the living dead”, instead. :P And actually I didn’t really think through it that much. I thought about it over the night and sort of decided overnight. lol. I’m always so impulsive. sigh.

    modchip: Hmm… how does thinking positive help when you’re doing something negative?

    Minou: Yeah, you’re very perceptive, as usual. I’d have to be at least a little bit excited over it to take the job. If not I’d be crazy, right? :P

    ignorantsoup: Thanks!

    Miss Loi: Hahaha. Kind of lah. I mean, doing a job I left long ago and swore never to go back IS a bit distressing.

    The Goonfather: Go for it. Haha. Once in a while play Patapon also ok. I miss the chanting. lol.

    uglyken: But getting regular payroll IS getting enslaved. :P Unless you’re doing something you enjoy doing in your work. But not many people have that luxury, unfortunately.

    lbandit: Thanks :)

    Tianhong: Hmm… nowadays very hard to get good salary for most jobs, don’t you think?

    Ivan: Thanks for the support! :)

    aig: It’s not actually a magazine, but you’ll know what it is when it’s out. :) But thanks for the encouragement! The timeline is really very tight to make the first issue rock but I’m trying my best.

    Ashtar83: No… getting fired is not the worst. I could care less about getting fired, seriously. Jobs to me are supposed to be fun and not for anything else. And I’m actually happy to lose jobs because then I have no more obligations. Haha. :P

    What’s worst for me is producing a sub-standard product. I’m too much of a perfectionist, so I’ll drive myself crazy trying to do the best work I possibly can. Which is not very healthy.

    But thanks for all the nice words you said!

    zield: Waaaaaahhhh PAIN! :P

    nadnut: Thanks! :)

    nocturne: lol. yes. that’s very true. but that doesn’t make it any less tragic for me. haha.

    Ruok: Yeah, I guess I’d rather do this than “waiter”. I tried it once before and never went back cos I totally sucked at it. In one night, I forgot someone’s order and spilled beer on another customer. lol.

    Jesta: On the contrary, I’m not really dying to take the job. I took it because it was there for the taking. Just like all my past editorial jobs. I never asked for it and would live happily without it.

    But I’m the kind of person who likes to embrace opportunities that fall onto my lap. :P

    Why would you call the doll-like look an effect? It’s an angle. A mirror shot. :P

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