Geez, it’s New Year’s Eve and I didn’t realise it until three hours ago.
I hate the new year.
New years give me the feeling that I must tie up every loose end before the year ends or risk being eternally damned. But that’s impossible to do because my life is made up of loose ends.
I suppose it’s all very psychological. I mean, there’s no reason at all why I have to tie up any ends. After countdown, it’s just another day and it’s very quickly back to status quo. The only difference would be you have to remember to write 08 instead of 07.
That’s why I hate the new year. It makes me nervous for nothing.
I don’t want the year to end. I haven’t accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish. New years remind me that I’m getting older and I still haven’t done anything I feel proud of.
I mean, I’m happy on a day-to-day basis. I enjoy each day as it comes. I’m kinda happy to be bumbling along. I feel proud of my tiny daily accomplishments.
But the whole sociology of celebrating new years forces me to take stock of my entire life, reminds me that I’m still sucky same old me and that I haven’t accomplished any grand thing in 2007. Nor 2006. Nor 2005. Nor 2004. Ad infinitum.
Why do people celebrate new years?
Something is wrong. If you’re looking forward to and celebrating a new year, it means that the old year had sucked so you can’t wait to jump into the new year. If it didn’t suck, wouldn’t you want to hold on to it and not let it go?
So if you’re celebrating, I assume that your year sucked. If you celebrate every year, I assume that your whole life sucked.
So, some people use new years to resolve to do better the next year. It’s like a chance to start over anew, maybe. They make resolution lists.
But these things don’t work. When will people start to realise this? If you’re gonna do something, you’ll do it. If you’re not gonna do it, you’ll never do. Lists can’t change people any more than slimming teas can zap away fats.
Ironically, I like countdown parties, for the simple fact that they’re parties. I party for the sake of partying, not to celebrate the dawn of a stupid day which is just like any old day except people dress it up and stick a fancy label on it.
But there’s no partying for me this year. I’ve been so stressed out stressing over tying up loose ends (key phrase being “stress over” and not “tie up”) that I haven’t had time to make any party plans. Anyway, the Goonfather has to work tonight from 8pm till 8am to tie up his company’s loose ends.
I think I’ll just stay home this year and quietly mourn the passing of the year.