Conversations with the Goonfather

Once again, for those who are new to my blog, the Goonfather is not my father. He’s my goon partner.

He always makes silly remarks and tries to trick, manipulate, con, insult, tease, confuse and annoy people with his words because it’s a great source of entertainment for him.

Sometimes it backfires.

I was having a conversation in the car with him about Christmas and my impending trip to Korea (which is happening before Christmas). I kinda got excited over the thought of shopping for Christmas presents in Korea.

The Goonfather got excited, too.

“Yay!” he said, “You can buy my birthday present also!”

“What do you want?”

“Oooh,” said the Goonfather, excitedly. “I want… I want… Korean porn!”

“WTF,” I said. “You want me to get caught at customs??”

Then, I had a thought. “I know! I will snail mail it to you! If anyone’s gonna get caught, it will be you!”

So he changed his mind.

“No, no,” he said. “I don’t want porn. I want a live Korean girl.”

I had another idea.

“How about I buy nice Korean clothes there, then come back and cosplay a Korean girl for you, ok?”

“Yaaaaay!” he said. “Ok! My own Korean cutie!”

“That’s your birthday present!!” I announced happily.

“Ehhh…,” he said. “I think I kena con.”

(“Kena” is a Malay word meaning to get/receive a negative action.)

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Yesterday. We were at the Singapore Indoor Stadium watching the Singapore Slingers duke it out with the Brisbane Bullets.

During a time-out, Michael Wong, one of the only two Singaporean players in the Singapore team, got called into the game.

Which prompted frenzied cheering in the audience because he hardly ever gets to play.

I was busy taking photographs, so I didn’t catch what was happening.

So I asked the Goonfather, “Who did Michael Wong replace?”

He pointed at the Slingers bench.

“There, that tall one.”

I gave him a narrow eye and then informed him, “THEY ARE ALL TALL LOR!!”

“Oh,” he said.

His answers are always rubbish.

By the way, it was a great match. I must be pretty lucky, because the Slingers have only won three out of 17 games and I witnessed two of those wins! The Slingers played so amazingly yesterday, my jaw was left hanging quite a bit.

Thanks again to Nicholas and Precious for the corporate box tickets!

Slinger Girls giving away an LCD TV to a lucky draw winner.

Someone has been really busy during the match…

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Anyway, I’m putting the Goonfather up for rental. Need to trick, manipulate, con, insult, tease, confuse or annoy a friend (or enemy)? Call 1800-GOON-A-FRIEND today!

25 thoughts on “Conversations with the Goonfather

  1. Avatar

    Rule no. 4: “… at the digression of SIS staff…”

    At the digression?!



    I think signs in Singapore can be quite funny too, despite the fact that English is supposed to be our first language, unlike China or Japan.

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    There are corporate box rules? gosh!! anyhoo..great meeting you and Goonfather yesterday. Think I might have made him feel uncomfortable..coz erm..I felt like I know him after reading ur blog…~blush~

    I think the free beer rawks man… :)

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    Mince Pye: I don’t know. I just wouldn’t call it “funny” in Singapore. I would call it “disgraceful” and then pretend that I’m not Singaporean.

    modchip: LOL did you really?

    Jason Ho: Yeah, I didn’t know until Vandalin pointed it out to me. Great meeting you, too! I think the Goonfather just has to get used to being “recognised”. It’s not the first time this has happened. Haha.

  4. Avatar

    I watched 2 matches, both the winning match. Mabbe I am their lucky charm. muahahahaa……. They should pay me to watch, so they can continue winning!!

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    Well….its obvious that you liked Goonfather the way he is….hehe…..think he is too precious to you to be put up for rental :P.

    Pls pls take more photos when you go Korea ok?

  6. Avatar

    I’m impressed that you managed to convince your poor Goonfather to let you shop for clothes for yourself (!) and call it HIS present. They had better be damn sexy clothes!

  7. Avatar

    Goonfather : First round is distracted when pretty lady is around. After that is better buck up because pretty lady is watching (when not camwhoring).

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    I think, The Goonfather managed to “trick, manipulate, con, insult, tease, confuse or annoy a friend (or enemy)” every match he attends, thus the win.

    Slingers should hire him as their mascot or something. Wahahaha!

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    Nicholas: Yeah, I know. Haha. SIS is ebil! Remember the first time they banned me from the court? Hehe.

    The Goonfather: Don’t be so shameless :P

    Minou: Wheee! Thanks for the support! haha.

    arachno: Smart of you to catch that!

    Vandalin: Great meeting you, too!

    Shire Li: Not really lah. I can offer him for rental and earn money, and at the end of the day, he still belongs to me. haha!

    Jesta: Thanks. I can be very persuasive when I want to be. :P

    Numby: Wah, don’t encourage him!

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    I have the perfect solution for the Slingers to start winning.

    Rent The Goonfather to be the Slingers cheerleader lor!

    Two-piece then bare the midriff. Confirm win liao!

  11. Avatar

    haha i was at the slingers match huge fan of basketball xD
    eh he replaced our favourite playe john fitzzy xD

  12. Avatar

    or “1800-RENT-A-GOON” :)

    I totally laughed at the “driving a mini car on toilet sink while crapping”, totally ingenious way to waste some time in there…but I really wonder if one can crap if they are concentrating on driving that mini car…:)

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