Figures of speech and chocolates for dinner

I thought an evening run would shake me out of lethargy, clear my mind and give me some ideas for any one of my zillion projects.

It didn’t.

On the bright side, today’s run was relatively painless. I completed my course before I knew it because my mind had been so busy working, thinking up and discarding ideas, that I hardly realised I was running at all.

Cool, ain’t it?

Speaking of bright, the moon is big and round and beautiful tonight. Is it full moon? I love the full moon. I could gaze at it forever.

Well, okay, not forever. People shouldn’t take figures of speech literally, you know.

Like when I say I want to pinch your baby’s cheeks, I don’t really mean I want to pinch them. I just mean to say your baby’s so cute I could eat it.

Oh, look, there’s another figure of speech.

I don’t really want to eat your baby, of course.

Jeez, people.

I’m eating chocolates for dinner while typing this. That isn’t a figure of speech. It’s the literal truth.

I love the freedom of being able to eat what I like, when I like.

That’s one huge reason I shouldn’t have children.

Because if my child were to ask, “Mummy, can I have chocolates for dinner?” I would start thinking how I hate to have my meals dictated and how I would hate it if someone stopped me from eating chocolates for dinner, and I would answer, “Yes, of course, sweetie.”

Can you imagine what a terrible a parent I would make??

“Mummy, can I not do homework tonight and play computer games until morning?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

“Mummy, can I eat dinner in bed?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

“Mummy, can I go to my boyfriend’s house and watch porn while we smoke illegal substances?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie.”

What kind of a screwed up kid would I create?! I shudder to imagine. The world would be a better place if I never had children.

Darn, I’m out of chocolate.

Of course, I have effectively busted whatever good that evening run just did me.

But that was some really nice chocolate!

25 thoughts on “Figures of speech and chocolates for dinner

  1. Avatar

    Sadly, one of the things that you have to do with kids is to tell them not to do things that you might do yourself. Maybe they are not ready to do those things or maybe (like chocolate for dinner) it’s just a bad idea that an adult can do once in a while, but a child might make into a nasty habit.
    It’s called being a parent…

  2. Avatar

    Daphne Maia: Hmm. I think permanently is more like it. Haha. :)

    Jesta: I think that’s kinda sad, when we put ourselves in a position to practise double standards. I guess I’m feel that I’ll never be ready to take on this responsibility. :P

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    I wish i could just settle for chocolate for dinner.I’m weird. I need a proper meal, like solid savoury food, before I can go to bed. Maybe that explains the size i am now!

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    Monster,

    You’re freaking me out and scaring me! What if I become the mother that you’ve just describe? And the child is a monster like me! You still want to be the godma???

  5. Avatar

    I dunno. My brother once commented that half the fun for a child growing up was breaking the rules. If we LET our children do all the things that we did (and the records on MY early life are now sealed, incidentally) then they wouldn’t get the thrill of breaking their own ground, and our rules…

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    Goonfather, I usually make chocolate cakes/souffles around twice a day too. I shld pass some to you next time, for QY.

    Ensure that she eats it while its just out of the Oven, so that when she bites down, oooo….such gastronomical pleasure! The warmth of family!

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    Not restricting children means they will turn out bad. My best friend’s mom teaches him vulgar language (e.g. whenever she sees a Gardenia bread ad on the TV, she’ll purposely the word with the Hokkien accent and what does it become?), but he has never spoken a single word of vulgarity that I’ve known.

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    Mother: Erm… for starters, weed is illegal. Porn is illegal. Duh. Lucky I am not your real daughter. Haha.

    Donny: Hmm? I don’t? In what ways, I wonder. :) I have the impression I’m still the same ol’ me!

    serene.s: Well, I kinda know what you mean. Sometimes I MUST eat solid savoury food. Nothing else will satisfy me! But my food cravings are very erratic. And I always change my mind last minute on what I want to eat. :P

    Monster: Don’t be ridiculous. You were BORN to be a mother. Come on, you’ve been a teacher forever. Kids love you. I don’t know anyone who handles kids as good as you. All the kids you’ve taught so far are still sane and on their way to becoming model citizens and future leaders, no? :P

    Smallapple: Hahahaha. Maybe every kid wishes their parents would be like that. :P

    Jesta: That may be true for most kids, I guess. But not me. I hated breaking rules. Whenever I had to break some, I always got stressed out of my mind. :P

    modchip: Cool! Hi5!

    The Goonfather + Mother: Can you two share your chocolate-making habits, like… IN PRIVATE???

    Alvin: I think you missed out the word “doesn’t” in your first sentence. But never mind, I know what you mean. :P Although I can’t for the life of me figure out what Gardenia in Hokkien accent means.

    I agree that, sometimes, allowing your kids to cross certain boundaries might not have any negative affect on them, but a balance still needs to be struck in parenting. I know of a smoker whose father allowed him to smoke when he was like 13, so he started smoking freely and now he can’t quit because he’s been smoking virtually all his life.

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    Hahahaha!! Yeah I think so too, but it’s only because you should do whatever you like.

    I am also a dreadfully permissive parent. Maybe I should kill myself so that they can get insurance payout. :P

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    Jesta: What do you mean what happened? I’m just a good girl, period. :P

    J: Miss you, too, babe! We gotta catch up someday!!

    Rachel: Haha, I’m sure you dote on your kid like nothing else!

    Wang Wang: Yes, that’s the point I was trying to make. That’s why I shouldn’t be a parent.

    Smallapple: Haha. I don’t want to be anyone’s mama, lol.

    Derrick: No lah, not super chocolate. I only eat cheap chocolates! :P Was eating Fry’s Turkish Delight Chocettes. Yummy!

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    Smallapple: Because I think mothering is a really tough and boring job and, right now, I can’t see any benefits to being one, no matter how my friends who have kids try to convince me otherwise.

  12. Avatar

    I got through 15 years of single parenting with a lot diet soda, coffee, candy and pizza. My daughter raised me pretty good, I think.

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