Based on a true story.
EXT. ROAD – DAY
The Goonfather is driving his car with Qiaoyun in the passenger seat. The traffic is busy but slow. Cars are going at about 35 kmh.
(pointing through the windscreen)
Hey, there’s a cockroach on the road!
GOONFATHER
(driving past the cockroach)
Where?
QIAOYUN
You just ran over it.
GOONFATHER
What’s a cockroach doing on the road?
(looking at his rearview mirror)
Hey, it’s still crossing the road.
QIAOYUN
Hahaha.
(beat)
Since when do cockroaches cross roads?
GOONFATHER
(still looking at rearview mirror)
I dunno. First time I see. But it’s a clever cockroach. It knows how to siam all the car and it stops when there’s a car tyre approaching. And it’s moving again.
QIAOYUN
Hahaha. The cockroach is playing frogger.
GOONFATHER
Yeah.
QIAOYUN
Why did the cockroach cross the road?
GOONFATHER
Becaaaaaaaaause… there’s more food on the other side.
QIAOYUN
That’s stupid. Cockroaches eat EVERYTHING so there’s always lots of food EVERYWHERE for them.
GOONFATHER
Because there’s more yummy food on the other side.
QIAOYUN
What yummy food?
GOONFATHER
Bak kwa.
QIAOYUN
Cockroaches don’t eat bak kwa!!!
GOONFATHER
Are you very sure about that?
QIAOYUN
They may eat bak kwa, but they don’t enjoy it as much as I do.
GOONFATHER
How you know?
QIAOYUN
Because they have different taste buds.
GOONFATHER
How you know?
QIAOYUN
Because they don’t die from radiation so they’re different.
GOONFATHER
What’s that got to do with taste buds?
QIAOYUN
Nothing.
(beat)
But cockroaches are evil so they shouldn’t be allowed to eat bak kwa.
GOONFATHER
Why?
QIAOYUN
Cos I say so.
GOONFATHER
…
Qiaoyun wins the argument as is the natural order of things. She’s brilliant at senseless discussion and unbeatable at veering away from the topic. The Goonfather comes a very close second, of course.
Unfortunately, the question of why the cockroach crossed the road is still largely unanswered and, therefore, open to further speculation.
Dictionary of Hokkien terms used
1. Siam = to get out of the way
2. Bak kwa = dried barbequed meat
Wah piang eh… like that also can?
You win. You win. *kowtow*
Early in life, I’ve learnt women winning arguments IS the natural order of things.
WOMEN ‘win’ arguments becos MEN let them. MEN let WOMEN have their victories…it doesn’t cost a thing…especially with regards to the rationale behind the actions of vermin. When it comes to matters of significance, like which game console is the better choice, MEN rarely back down, if at all…just my humble opinion, i wouldn’t start arguing over it. :P
WII IS BESTEREST IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!
JayWalk: Thanks! Hahahahaha.
Alvin: Yeah, isn’t that wonderful? But wtf is wii doing in my cockroach blog? lol. /glare
Fish: You’re right. Men always pretend to let women win for the sake of maintaining peace and with the hope of getting laid afterwards, but that’s fine by me, because the expressions men have on their faces when challenged with absurd logic is priceless. :P
Cockroaches wii-ll need 2 controllers and 2 nunchucks each… or is that 1 controller and 3 nunchucks… or 3 controllers and 1 nunchuck? Meh…
Heh, just illustrating Fish’s point about MEN rarely backing down from their ‘better’ choice of game console ;)
Wah got script format somemore! LOL
I dunno why cockroaches cross the road either, but now I know why the Chicken crossed the road! To catch that damn cockroach across the road! :P
Mince Pye: Apparently, cockroaches have 6 legs and 18 knees. And a person who is allergic to consuming shellfish is also likely to have an allergy to eating cockroaches. So… better lay off those cockroaches!
Alvin: Well, everyone knows that the Wii is better, so who cares? :P
Edric: Heheh. Reminds me of the time I saw a cat playing with a cockroach. Catching it, then letting it go, then pouncing on it again, then letting go, etc. It did that for like 15 minutes. So evil! lol.
Actually hor… I doubt it requires an allergy to shellfish for anyone to know that they have an allergy to eating cockroaches…
Just look at the faces they make on Fear Factor when they’re eating those Madagascar Hissing Roaches… if that’s not an allergic reaction, I dunno what is.
Then of course, there are some people who don’t even need to eat a roach to have an “allergic reaction”. All it takes is a roach flying by for the screaming to commence. ;)
Funny faces and screaming are certainly NOT allergic reactions, Mr Wiki!
@Mince Pye: Alamak, bro… you stumbled upon my “kryptonite”… flying roaches! ARRGGHHH!! *grabs my loved ones and locks the doors*