Today, the Goonfather said to me, “You’re evil.
“I read your blog and you made me tempted to play WoW.”
So my jaw hung open a little as I stared at him for a good measure of time. And then I gave him the narrow eye.
I said, “That’s crazy, because all I talked about in my blog was the graphics. And you, YOU were the one complaining about WoW graphics. You hate the graphics, remember?”
The Goonfather is silly like that. Which is why he’s called the Goonfather, incidentally.
About a month ago, he reactivated his EverQuest 2 (EQ2) account because all our friends were going back to EQ2. A new expansion pack, Kingdom of Sky (KoS), had just come out, which allows your character to gain alternate advancement levels. If you don’t buy the expansion, you are, to put it simply, gimped, and wasting your time playing EQ2.
Mr Goon didn’t buy KoS because he’s saving up to buy his RX8 (which will probably happen when the cows come home). Also, at the same time, he was contemplating buying a PlayStation Portable (PSP), something he’d been contemplating a very, very long time (about as long as Rip Van Winkle slept).
So, for the Goonfather, the choice situation was something like this:
1. Get KoS (because I can’t play EQ2 without it).
2. Get PSP (because my reservist is coming up and I need it to bring to camp).
3. Don’t get either and just save the money (for when the cows come home).
My advice was: Get KoS because it’s cheaper than PSP and certainly much cheaper than an RX8. Also so that you’ll quit bugging me about being bored.
Most logical, I would think.
Every day, I said to him, “Get KoS for goodness’ sake and stop brooding.”
Every day, he said, “Noooooooo! I must resist the dark side!”
After two weeks of that, what do you know, he bought KoS, a few days before his reservist.
It was a ding gratz moment. I was happy for him. I was happy for me. Peace at last.
Two days after that, the Goonfather came to me smiling like a sunflower.
“I bought my PSP!” he proclaimed.
I was, like, “HELLO?! You just got KoS!!”
“Yeah, but I need something to bring to reservist. I can’t bring KoS.”
“Yeah, but your ass is so going to be in debt.”
“Yeah, but KoS is for playing at home. PSP is for the MRT and reservist.”
How do you argue with logic like that?
And here comes the best part.
The Goonfather has had the PSP for, I don’t know, three weeks now, and he has been playing it like it’s going to grow wings and fly away.
He plays PSP even at home.
I say to him, “Stop playing PSP! Go and play EQ2! You’re at home now! PSP is for playing outside!”
His reply: “Ya, but PSP is so fun!”
Another goon logic I cannot refute.
After a few days of my nagging, he’s come up with a brilliant plan.
He’s taken to playing both the PSP and EQ2 at the same time. How he does that, I don’t know. He sits in front of his computer screen where his EQ2 character is running away from mobs, while playing the PSP propped above his keyboard.
I have witnesses.
He is such a goon.
To make matters worse, of course, he has to tell me today that he wants to play WoW, now.
And then, he said, “I’m going to sing you the WoW song!”
And he sang, “Who let the orcs out! WoW WoW WoW WoW!”