So you think you’re indecisive

Do you know someone who is very indecisive, who changes their mind all the bloody time?

Of course you do. It’s me!

Maybe you were going to say: “Oh, yeah, Jack is like that” or “Hah, that’s Kate you’re talking about”.

Well, wrong. It’s all me. I’m the mind-changing undeciding fickle-minded champion.

You probably want some examples, so I’ve made a comic of myself.

Comic strip: Indecision
She does need some help, pronto.

 

But that’s rather tame. I’m sure I’m not the only one who suffers from indecision in the area of food selection, even when there’s a very narrow field of choices.

So, how about, I was planning to have a wedding ceremony last year but changed my mind just months before (by literally flipping a coin to decide). A year later, now, I’m still thinking about changing my mind.

Or how about I changed my name legally in 2003 and now I want to change it again.

Or how about when I was 17, I was about to enroll at a pre-university when they sent me home to get my GCE O-Level results slip because I’d forgotten it, but, on the way home, I decided that I’d rather be an actress. So, I didn’t return for the enrollment. Instead, I made an application to La Salle College of Drama. On the day of my audition for admittance, I skipped it and went to interview at a talent agency.

Or how about this blog post was inspired by the fact that I couldn’t for the longest time decide what to blog about after my big announcement on April 1st.

 

Indecisive cat is stuck
The world is her oyster. Or maybe just her window sill.

 

Well, I could go on and on but you’ll probably get bored.

Now, this post is kind of a long-winded way of explaining why I haven’t blogged for a year. I couldn’t decide whether to blog or not. I mean it’s not just that, but I’m not sure if I want to go into detail, so I’ve ended up making a whole post out of nothing.

Sorry LOL but I did make it up by drawing a comic. That must make up for everything, doesn’t it, in our perfect little world where people don’t circulate stupid hoaxes on Facebook or neighbours don’t steal your bar stools off stupid delivery men who don’t double check who they’re delivering to.

Yes, feeling good.

Now, your turn. Share your indecision stories, big or small! If they’re funny, maybe I’ll draw a comic of them. Or not.

 

The post that has no sense or purpose

It’s a bit hard to explain.

When I don’t post a blog for days, sometimes it’s not because I’m too busy. And it’s not because I have nothing to write.

It’s because I have too many things to write.

I get an internal conversation.

“Let’s write A today!”

“Alright…. No, wait. How about B? I think we should do B today.”

“Nah, B is boring. Maybe C?”

“Mmmm. Okay, but D is as important as C if you think about it.”

“Oh I just remembered there’s E!”

“Great.”

Then I get stressed about it and go do something relaxing, like stare at the buttermilk pancakes cooking in Cafe World.

Cafe World

I’m not joking. I do that. Looking at food in Cafe World fills me with some kind of profound joy. That’s why I can’t quit the game even though people are cheating in it.

Time flies when I’m messing around Facebook. And before I know it the day is over and I didn’t write a blog.

It’s the same as when I have too many games to play or too many books to read. I end up spending half the day deciding which to start on first, and then time flies away and I haven’t decided, and the day is over and I haven’t done anything.

After two recent book shopping sprees, I have acquired a large collection of books for my inbox. Well, call it inshelf.

Books

These are books I just bought and haven’t read. Not counting the four books that are currently in progress of being read.

It’s very hard to decide what to read next. Sometimes I start reading a few pages, but my mind keeps yearning for the other books, then I will start on another. And it kind of goes on.

It’s like going to a buffet and wanting to eat everything at once.

Likewise, games.

Games

These are the games I haven’t played.

And that’s not counting the seven new games I have lent to my friends.

Not counting the countless other games I have started and want to continue but have no time to because all these new games are waiting for me.

It’s like, which one should I play first? I want to play them all!

So, blogs.

Blogs

These are the blogs I haven’t written.

And that’s not counting those for which there are no photos, therefore aren’t represented in my photos folder.

In the end, instead of trying to clear the stuff already in my inbox/inshelf/infolder, I invent new rubbish like this entry to write.

Woe.

Why would you want to have children?

I was thinking about how I’ve made regrettable choices in life. How I’ve had to go through hard knocks before I learned to be sensible. How it’s always too late when you realise you should have done things differently.

I see life as a giant maze with endless pitfalls and traps, which we have to navigate in order to survive long enough to find the exit. Many times, we can’t avoid the traps because there are too many and they materialise on you so suddenly you don’t even have time to react to them.

Inevitably, you break a leg when you fail to avoid a trap. And then you have to shuffle through the maze with a broken leg. Next thing you know, you fall into a pit and break your arm. Now you have a broken leg and a broken arm but you still have to go on and find the exit.

The more you remain in the maze, the more pain you collect. Your spirit and body get old and tired but you still have to struggle on. When you finally find the exit, it’s time to say goodbye And then, that’s it. The end.

Why would anyone want to propagate such an existence?

Why would you want to have children… knowing that your children will make the same mistakes you made when you were young (or even the mistakes you’re making now), knowing that you can’t talk them out of making those mistakes because you remember yourself defiantly making those mistakes despite your parents’ warnings, lectures, pleadings?

Why would you want to have children… knowing that your children will suffer, especially if you live in an oppressive society like Singapore?

Why would you want to have children… knowing that your children will go through a lot of pain and sadness throughout life? You might argue that there is also happiness. But if the child never existed, the child won’t miss it, so the point is moot. Isn’t it more important that your child should never have to suffer pain?

Why would you want to have children… knowing that it’s possible your child could become a rapist, a murderer, a child molester, a robber, and go through life doing harm and bringing more evil to the world?

Why would you want to have children… knowing that the world is full of evil you have no control over? Would you dump your child in a river full of crocodiles?

Sure, I’ve had my fair share of happiness. Times when I feel my heart would burst from joy. But I would glady, without hesitation, instantly, give up all that to not also feel pain.

A moment of happiness is not worth two moments of pain.

And it’s true. Life has more pain than happiness. Honestly take stock of your life. In an average day, how many hours do you spend being blissfully happy? How many hours do you spend being angry, sad, annoyed, frustrated, irritated, disappointed?

Again, one moment of happiness is not worth two moments of pain.

Giving birth to children is like playing God. Who are you to decide that you can inflict all these bad things upon an innocent being? A child has no choice at all whether or not to be born.

Pro-family ads make me sick because they don’t show you the ugliness. They only show you the pretty side. It makes people procreate before they’re fully ready to assume the responsiblity, before they’ve even considered the full, actual meaning of having children. It makes people procreate out of a sense of duty rather than out of meaningful desire to have children.

It makes me nauseous.

I know parenthood makes many parents happy. But is your baby happy? Will your babies still be happy after they grow up? Have you considered that maybe your child doesn’t want to be born?

I don’t want to offend parents or people who are happy with their lives and are happy to be born. What I’ve written here is totally my own philosophy and I admit there are always two sides to a coin. I am not all right.

If you disagree with me, more power to you. Just also remember to look at the other side of the coin, once in a while.

(And please don’t ask me what happened. Nothing happened. I’m still happy as a lark (or trying to find happiness). Just sharing my opinion on procreation. =D)