Something cute for a Sunday evening!

The latest from icanhascheezburger:

It’s funny, although not necessarily my favourite lolcat.

Just thought to mention it cos it reminds me of Conehead Zombie in Plants vs Zombies!

Read the description!

The PVZ guide to all the plants and zombies has the most irrelevant but funny stories.

A few of my favourite ones:

Too funny and cute for words! I would like to kiss the writer of these funny descriptions.

No, I’m no longer obsessed over Plants vs. Zombies. Because I’m obsessed over Dynomite, instead.

No, no. Really. I managed to get some work done last night and today. Slowly but surely ticking off all the items on my planner!

You might be asking, then, why am I reading lolcats when I’m supposed to be working?

Cos I follow ICHC on Plurk so I get updates instantly lah. I have a few things open on my screen 24/7 and Plurk is one of them. Gmail is another.

Awright, back to work!

Heh.

Alright. Time to get down to serious work. *slaps self* Been gaming too much despite mounting deadlines.

PopCap games are too addictive! I’m even hooked to the Puzzle Booble-type games (Dynomite and Zuma) even though I’ve always hated Puzzle Bobble.

The game developers are really good at keeping us playing. Most of their games provide a lot of stress-relieving satisfaction (great sound effects and animation like a zillion zombies getting blown up at once) and the levels don’t feel repetitive. (Sign up for free play of all the games here.)

I also love the humour. The help page for Plants vs Zombies cracks me up.

ANYWAYS.

I have a hundred deadlines (exaggerating a bit) these two months, mostly advertorials, so Raine from Nuffnang made me a blogging schedule showing when to submit a post and when to publish it.

So thoughtful of her!

I found it very useful, so decided to adapt it and make my own version because I wanted to add my other assignments (like Star Blog and Stuff magazine) and I wanted bigger boxes to write on.

So I made monthly planners for March and April!

The images and icons are from Microsoft clipart. Really quick-and-dirty job. Just draw up boxes in Excel and pop some colours and random pictures in them.

It is now happily sitting on my wall, being ignored! Yay!

I keep telling myself, “One last game,” and it never ends because… WELL IF YOU GO PLAY SOME POPCAP GAMES YOU WILL KNOW.

My deadlines are looming nearer and nearer! Many blogs to complete before I fly to Shenzhen/Hong Kong next Wednesday. I will still have to work a bit even during my vacation but I’m trying to finish up as much as possible before then!

Stupid games!

While we were in China, the Goonfather spent a lot of time in spas chatting with young Chinese girls who work there.

He found out they’re all addicted to a farming game in QQ, China’s largest social networking site (like Facebook).

I also just found out that many articles have been written on this addcition that has swept the whole of China. People would wake up in the middle of the night to harvest crops.

(There’s also this rumour reported in the papers that a baby died because the doctor was too busy playing Happy Farm and didn’t attend to the baby in time.)

So, the Goonfather was laughing about the China girls. He was saying, “They’re crazy! They run away from their rural homes to escape a life of farming, and then they come to the city and play farming games!”

I thought that was kinda funny, too, and I laughed.

But, at the same time, I could empathise.

I told the Goonfather, “I hate cooking in real life but I spend all my time cooking in Cafe World!”

He stared at me for a few seconds, gave a big sigh, and didn’t say anything more.

Then, the next thing you know, we’re back in Singapore and getting ready to sleep and he springs up and says, “Oh, wait! I need to go harvest my crops!”

T_T

Game Review: Bayonetta
By DJ Goonfather

When I first got the game, the cover reminded me of Afro Samurai for some reason. I didn’t think much of it then and let it sit around for a while.

Eventually, when I decided to try out the game, I found that my Xbox 360 had died on me. I didn’t get it fixed immediately.

Long story short, it took me two weeks to get my console up and running due to unforseen circumstances.

Then I loaded the disc with low expections since I was just playing it to kill time.

But the introduction perked my interest immediately: Two hot chicks, Bayonetta and Jeanne, in tight leather, fighting on a falling platform. It’s like Heavenly Sword with that sexy babe killing ever-advancing hordes of enemies.

Still, it wasn’t until the Prologue that the game got my full attention.

The starting story, the strong personalities of the characters, the vicious violent moves, Bayonetta’s nun costume splitting open as she bursts out naked from it, transforming into her true leather-clad self…

It was stunning.

Reminds me of Devil Hunter Yohko, the anime.

If I had already started on Bayonetta when my Xbox 360 died in the middle of the night, I would have rushed to Mustafa to buy a new console right there and then, instead of waiting to get an exchange set for free.

It is that captivating!

Gore, guns, kungfu, hot chicks in tight pants, semi naked scenes and explicit language. What else could a guy ask for in a game?

By the way, Bayonetta looks like an OL version of Elvira. Teehee.

What mesmerises me most is Bayonetta’s personality, which comes across very appealingly in the amazing cutscenes. Where other game heroes gasp and struggle when faced with strong opponents, Bayonetta is bitchy and confident to the point of arrogance, which gives her a very sexy air.

I find myself developing a huge crush on her!

Hey, my silent admiring crush isn’t as bad as this bloke posting a Bayonetta video on YouTube asking if it’s normal to get a hard on while playing the game.

Bayonetta is an action game by the creators of Devil May Cry. Expect a similar feel but with a female hero with an attitude.

The moves are similar, with guns and huge-ass melee weapons, but the developers have raised the stakes here. Many variants of special moves such as Punish, Torture and a Nude move make the gameplay all the more exciting.

The Punish series of moves includes pinning down the enemy and bitch-slapping it to death, or grabbing it and slamming it right to left.

Torture moves include kicking an enemy into a guillotine and dropping the blade, or throwing it into an iron maiden and watching its juices flow out.

In the Nude finishing move, Bayonetta’s black leather outfit melts off her body to become this huge demon that flies up and eats the enemy.

But what’s better than all these moves combined is the unforgettable soundtrack which gets your blood pumping while you fight, especially the techno-jazz remixed version of Fly Me To The Moon.

Bayonetta is a witch who has lost her memory and goes around in search of her past. Following trails of a mysterious gem known as The Eyes of the World, with the help of an informant, Enzo, Bayonetta tries to recover her lost memories.

Along the way, she meets a journalist named Luka who claims that she had killed his father while he was a little boy. Luka swears to expose her existence to the mortal world. But because both of them aren’t bad people, it’s hard to make enemies out of them, which resullts in an uneasy friendship.

As Bayonetta visits places of significant histories, flashbacks of her past occur to her. She also meets delightful bright-eyed Cereza, who keeps calling her Mummy and following her around despite Bayonetta’s protests.

Cereza adds a wonderful human interest element to the story. You will fall in love with both mother and daughter for different reasons.

Be sure to watch the cutscenes carefully for the story is complicated but rewarding if you follow it through to the end.

If Bayonetta were an anime, I would be the first to buy it!

One noteworthy feature of the game is the loading screen. A controllable Bayonetta appears on the screen together with a scrollable list of fight combos. While the game is loading, you can practice moves and combos.

There’s never a moment of boredom in this game!

Well, now that I have completed the game, I feel at a loss. Perhaps I should try and persuade Sheylara to cosplay Bayonetta for me.

=)

Reviewed by The Goonfather

Firstly, many thanks to Sheylara and New Era, for it is through their graciousness that I had a chance to play Assassin’s Creed II on the Xbox 360.

Dear Sheylara also honoured me to write a short commentary on it. But, but.. there’s so much to talk about in this game!

For players who have played the first game, Assassin’s Creed, here’s a piece of good news: Assassin’s Creed II has come back improved. While some of the old moves are intact, many more new ones have been added. There are also new weapons and loads of new content.

The game does start out a bit slow but get through it and you’re in for a treat.

One notable improvement is the lack of repetitiveness that had frustrated players in the first game. Back then, players were made to repeat these steps for each assassination target: Eagle View (to synchronize map), followed by Intelligence Gathering, followed by the assassination.

That was tedious and boring, but it’s history. Eagle View is now optional, so the repetitiveness is gone. Every assassination target now has a different mission leading to it, making the gameplay much more interesting.

The Story

Not to provide a spoiler, here’s the short version: Playing as Ezio, your family has been wrongfully accused and executed before your very own eyes. In anger, you become an assassin to exact vengeance upon those responsible.

The Graphics

Ubisoft has done a great job on the graphics, from the scenic city views on rooftops to close-up architectural details on castles, chapels and fortresses. These words come to mind: Splendid, spectacular, and breathtaking.

The game takes players back to the old days of Italy in Florence, Tuscany, and Venice, for which good virtual impressions have been made.

Movements such as running, jumping, and climbing are extremely smooth and do not have the slightest blocky feel. One particularly amusing graphic effect is the “wet look” your character gets after taking a swim. It lasts 10 seconds or so before you dry up.

The Moves

The double-kill-air-assassinate technique is by far the coolest and my personal favorite. It involves first picking out two targets, both close to each other. From a high ledge, Ezio will leap into the air and land on both targets simultaneously, plunging one blade into each. Awesome and truly elite.

The Controls

The controls are simple yet sophisticated. By the middle of the game, you would have access to an arsenal of at least five weapons, plus access to another five or six assassination techniques. Most of the moves can be performed easily with the Xbox controller, so I forsee a short learning curve for new players.

The Gameplay

The gameplay is fantastic, with each mission being different, as well as optional quests, secret missions and bonuses to cater to hardcore fans. The best part about this game is that every mission is like a puzzle with numerous ways to solve it.

Conclusion

Did I mention you could hire mercenaries or poison a target? What about the exciting carriage-chase mission with Leonardo da Vinci? There are so many fun elements in this game that I could never do it justice with such a concise review.

Try it out yourself. You won’t regret it!

Rating: 4.5 / 5

Reviewer: Kerrendor