The kind of dog I love — #8 Sniffs inappropriate places

 

Sniffs inappropriate places

 

It’s not easy having a dog (or children, for that matter). They find new ways to embarrass you all the time!

Of course, dogs sniffing crotches and bottoms is nothing new. It’s just their way of getting to know a person or another dog.

But some male dogs are sexist, like Basil. They only sniff females. I’ve never seen Basil sniff a man’s crotch. And when I take him out for walks, I observe that he only sniffs some dogs and not others, so I assume they are female dogs.

Scientists say that dogs can tell if you have cancer (and other illnesses) just by sniffing you.

That’s quite a handy skill.

So, if your dog is acting strange around you, always sniffing at a different spot, or scratching, licking or biting a specific spot on your body, they may know something you don’t know.

Hmm. Basil’s always licking my arms and legs (besides sniffing my crotch). Oh no! Is he trying to tell me something?!

 

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Previous chapters:

#1 Won’t play fetch

#2 Jumps on your lap

#3 Follows you everywhere

#4 Barks at nothing

#5 Gets too excited

#6 Has strange taste buds

#7 Sleeps on your bed

Me at fitness boot camp

I started fitness boot camp last week. Three times a week of 45-minute non-stop physical tortures sessions which include a mixture of the following exercises: sprints, press ups, squats, lunges, tricep dips, sit ups, jumping jacks, burpees, skipping rope and boxing.

It’s tough. Especially tough if you’re not at all fit. I’ve drawn a comic to show you how tough it is. (Actually, it shows how unfit I am.)

 

Me at fitness boot camp

 

It’s been several years since my gymming/running days so it was hard going the first time. The coach said newcomers should perform at 50% intensity but I think I barely did 10%. We started the session by skipping rope and I was wiped after one jump.

The good news is that it gets better quickly. At every session, I feel like I can do a lot more than the last. After five sessions, I feel like I can almost catch up with the long-timers.

I mean not be so rubbish as to be an embarrassment to the human race. I can now skip at least five ropes without getting a heart attack. Yay me.

Random stuff I feel like talking about

#1

I have decided to get on Instagram, finally. It’s one of those things I didn’t want to do when everyone else was. Now that I’ve dallied enough, I find that someone has already taken the username sheylara (why???), thus forcing me to coin the very creative alternative of sheylara_uk.

So, there’s a lesson for you. Don’t be stubborn. Nothing wrong with being an excitable pup and rushing to join everything on the first day of launch.

I have just posted enough photos (7) for Instagram to create a montage cover for me. I like it. It feeds my vanity to have a portfolio of my pretentious artsy photographs displayed like that.

 

Instagram profile page

 

So, I’ve done that. Your job is to follow me and like all my photos from now on! :D

Pretty please with a cashew nut on top? Honey roasted!!

 

#2

I’ve started a fitness regime to prepare for Mallorca and I hope I’m not too late. I have four bikinis to look decent in by September. (They’re the ones I bought in 2011 and never got to wear because I forgot to pack them for my 2011 Mallorca trip).

If you recall, I’m not a beach and sun person, so going to a resort island would be the only time I’d need to wear any swimsuit at all, so those bikinis have sat untouched in my cupboard for two years!

 

My fitness regime consists of fitness boot camp three times a week and a sugarless, carbless, junkfoodless diet.

It’s brutal, I tell you. Totally brutal, considering that up to this point my diet has been 80% sugar, carbs and junk food.

Now I have to spend too much time cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner, putting in more effort to make boring food edible. giving me less time to do stuff I enjoy.

:(

 

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with red onion and grilled tomatoes.

Breakfast for a champion.

 

 

Lunch: Prawn and avocado salad.

Lunch for a champion.

 

And I haven’t even started on the craziness that goes on in bootcamp. My muscles want to tell you but I’m asking them to shut up and stop bothering me.

Vanity is a powerful motivator, therefore it’s gotta be a good thing, right?

 

Healthy Sheylara

 

 

#3

I bought tickets to watch STOMP!

I saw them once a long time ago in Australia and loved the show. They’re coming to Bournemouth next month, playing at the Pavillion, which is about 15 minutes’ walk from home, whoopee.

When I first saw the poster in the town centre, I said to Piers, “OMG STOMP we have to go watch it!”

He said, “Okay.”

Then, when I was booking the tickets at home, I asked him which day he preferred, Tuesday to Saturday, and he said, “None of them.”

Stupid Piers!

 

STOMP

 

#4

Right, that’s all the random stuff I feel like talking about today. Tomorrow, we talk about sheep. I know you can’t wait!

How to lose your appetite fast

A few months ago, I started experiencing a loss of appetite and it has been really disconcerting.

If you have been following my blog over the years, you might have concluded that I was an irredeemable glutton, such was my penchant to share endless gastronomical conquests, replete with mouthwatering photos.

 

Noms

 

I have loved food, especially unhealthy junk food, all my life. Barring the occasional loss of appetite due to temporal sickness, depression or jetlag, I’ve always lived to eat and looked forward to every meal with hungry impatience, always dreaming of all sorts of savoury delights rolling around my taste buds.

And then, all of that suddenly gone. Almost overnight.

I woke up one day and found no urge to eat. No food excited me, not even my favourite things, and I have many of those, trust me. One day rolled into two days, which rolled into one month, two months.

Piers would ask me, “If you could have anything to eat right now, anything at all, what would it be?” And I would say, “Nothing at all!”

Putting something into my mouth to chew and swallow started seeming a bit like a chore, even when I was hungry. I did still occasionally enjoy tasty food, but the enjoyment would be at about 30% of what it should have been.

“O.M.G. I’ve died and gone to heaven” became “Okay, this is quite tasty so it’s less of a chore to eat”.

 

Om nom nom

 

At first I thought it was because I was sick of the food in England, since the variety there is quite limited, and I’ve always craved variety. I thought my appetite would go back to normal once I was back in Singapore and I looked forward to eating all the food I missed.

But I came back to Singapore and nothing changed. Faced with all the best food you could find in the whole wide world, my appetite remain unmoved.

It has been two weeks since I’ve returned to Singapore and I have woken up with dismay every day, no urge to eat, thinking of each day wasted that I’m not scarfing down chwee kueh for breakfast, chicken rice for lunch and chilli crab for dinner. I’m only in Singapore for six weeks.

But I just have no interest in eating, whatsoever.

My mind ruminated all the possible reasons. Prolonged jetlag? General malaise from having finished my course and undecided on my next step? Old age? I did use to wonder as a kid why adults never seemed to want to eat tidbits all day, even when they had all the money and freedom to do so.

 

Let there be bread

 

And then, today, I suddenly put two and two together and discovered the culprit of my malediction. It is the stupid Omega 3 fish oil capsules I’ve been taking daily since Novemeber last year!

It didn’t cross my mind that something like that would suppress my appetite. I started taking it a month before my exams because our psychology lecturer told us that fish oils supplements have been proven to boost brain function. After that, I continued taking it because I noticed that my skin was getting smoother, too.

I think my appetite might have started buggering off around that time. I had then stocked my snack cupboard to the ridiculous brim for the exam period, expecting it to be all gone within weeks. After my exams, the cupboard remained untouched, still stocked well enough to last me through an apocalypse and a half.

 

Snack cupboard

(I don’t have a photo of my snack cupboard in England, but it’s bigger than this one I had in Singapore about 5 years ago.)

 

After my exams, I would literally not eat until about 7 pm when Piers would get home from work and we would have dinner together. For a couple of months, there were many days in which I ate just one meal a day. (Other days, I would force myself to eat something in the day.) But dinner would be a huge meal, which made up the calories my sedentary lifestyle needed, although it was probably not too good for general health.

So, today, I woke up and I looked at the bottle of fish oil capsules on my table and something clicked in my brain. I got up and Googled “fish oil suppresses appetite” and there was my answer.

While the evidence is compelling — the articles confirm it and my timeline fits — I can’t say for sure that fish oil is the main cause of my lost appetite. I suppose I will have to stop taking it for a while to see if the good ol’ appetite comes back. I only have 3.5 weeks left to eat my fill in Singapore!

If I am right, then I have found a way for me to maintain a healthy diet while at the same time benefit from the multitudes of health benefits of this supplement. I’ve never been able to stick to a healthy diet plan for my junk food cravings always got the better of me.

So, yay?

I do miss foodgasms, though, so now I’m kinda undecided what to do.

By the way, this is not an advertorial for fish oil or a recommendation to try it or whatever. Take it at your own risk and stick with reliable brands!

Never take a man shopping

I’ve been thinking of getting back into running. My Nikes and Adidas fell apart a couple of years ago and I haven’t run since then.

I have been putting off getting new ones because there are so many other things I need to spend money on in England, such as warm clothing and… even warmer clothing.

But I am finally putting my feet down to have them fitted for a new pair of running shoes.

 

Now, Bournemouth (where I live now) is not a shopping paradise like Singapore is. You can’t just take a short MRT ride to Orchard Road and immediately have access to 500 sporting stores offering pretty much the same stuff but all the brands and models are represented within a 500m radius.

(That means if you don’t like the attitude in one store, you can walk 10 seconds to another store to get exactly the same thing.)

 

Adidas

 

You can even find trained consultants who professionally flirt with you and make you run on gait analysing thingies, then know exactly which pair of shoes you need to instantly improve your speed, stamina and intelligence by 300%.

 

In Bournemouth, on the other hand, you could choose to walk 10 minutes to a small sports supermarket (and I’m using the term “super” very loosely here) offering products that would make all the fashion policemen in the world vaporise from agony.

And there are two staff members in the whole place, one manning the cash register and the other bustling about pretending to be busy with stock or something.

Or you could drive an hour to a slightly bigger sports supermarket offering similary fashion-offensive products, and there are three staff members manning the cash registers or pretending to be busy.

 

I chose to go online.

 

And after a bit of looking around, this caught my eye:

 

Adidas

 

I am partial to Adidas shoes. I had a pair several years ago which were the lightest and most comfortable track shoes you’d ever wear. I almost felt like I was flying in them. Sadly, they didn’t last very long because I wore them almost every day, not just for running but for everyday use.

 

Old Adidas

 

So I’m hoping to find another pair that feels the same.

I was quite excited to find the pink and black Adidas because I love the colours and design and it’s really hard to find running shoes with nice designs. Most branded running shoes seem to me to be designed for aliens. Which makes them only marginally better than the ones in Bournemouth.

I quickly MSN’ed the link to Piers (who was at work).

 

I said, “I’m going to buy this!!!”

It took him just one second to reply, “Those trainers look ugly!”

“What?!” I said, “They don’t!”

“They do to me!”

I said, “You’re just saying that cos it’s £75!”

He said, “I am not!”

 

Then, he was silent for two seconds and came back with this:

“These ones look much nicer!”

 

Cheap running shoes

 

I said, “That’s £8!!!!!!!!!!”

“Oh! Are they?” he said, “Wow, that’s good value!”

“Yeah, right,” I told him. “Too bad, cos I need an Adidas.”

 

Then another three seconds and he sent me this:

“These look nice!”

 

Cheaper running shoes

 

I said, “Those are man shoes!!”

“And old!”

 

“Oh, yeah,” he said.

Not to be deterred, he took a few more seconds and came back with this:

“Nice!”

 

Cheapest running shoes

 

Indeed, it was time to change strategy.

“Thanks,” I said, to lull him into a sense of false security, “I love that.”

 

He doesn’t know that I have gone ahead to order the £75 Adidas. With his credit card! Mwahahaha.

I suppose he will find out when he receives the bill at the end of the month.

Or when he reads this post, which will presumably be sooner.

But that’s okay because I have suddenly and mysteriously turned into a good cook so I will distract him with some nice Chinese cooking.

 

He liked the wat tan mai fan and curry puffs I made in the last week, which is saying a lot because men’s taste buds are as good as their fashion senses are bad.

 

wat tan mai fan
Vermicelli in egg gravy

 

Curry puffs
Curry puffs

 

I don’t mean all men, of course. Just the ones who equate expensive with ugly and cheap with sublimely gorgeous.

 

Which is why I will never take a man shopping with me. The best strategy is to go online to buy anything and everything you want while the man is at work. It’s fast and convenient and when the packages arrive, you can feign ignorance. “Goodness me, where did that come from?”

Just remember not to send him any links.

Or if you must, send him eBay links of really cheap stuff to drive him into a permanent state of deep, deep security.

 

In other news, I am micro-blogging on Facebook more than updating this silly blog so I would respectfully suggest that you go to Facebook for quicker updates on my superfluous life.

Thanks!