Someone told me today that eating one stick of satay is equivalent to smoking 10 sticks of cigarettes.

Wow.

I know that barbequed meat is harmful. There are many articles circulating around on that topic. But I didn’t know it was that bad.

So, should I quit eating bbq chicken wings and pick up smoking, instead?

Haha. Just kidding. I couldn’t give up my favourite food if you killed me.

I found a food stall in Geylang which serves rather unique satay and bbq chicken wings.

It’s cooked Chinese-style, using all kinds of interesting Chinese herbs and spices, and tastes nothing like the regular Malay satay.

The pork and mutton are supposedly the best, although I feel that the pork (above) is way better, which is why we ordered a huge bunch of it, compared to the measly few sticks of mutton (below) we ordered just to have a variety of taste.

The satay is meant to be eaten together with a fragrant barbequed bun, which also comes skewered in a satay stick. There’s no sauce.

The Goonfather says not to order the beef because it’s dry and it sucks. There’s also chicken satay, but we didn’t order it because we wanted bbq chicken wings, instead.

Chicken wings my favourite! Tastes so unique. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

Actually, that’s because I’ve kinda forgotten how it tastes like, haha. It was about a month ago when I ate it but I remember loving it. I didn’t even need chilli sauce to go with it and I’m the chilli sauce queen.

Haha. The woman manning the stall looked at me suspiciously while I took photos of her shopfront.

I won’t say the satay is to die for, but I’m writing about it because it’s interesting. Something you probably can’t find anywhere else in Singapore. And it tastes pretty decent.

The stall is located at Geylang Lorong 31, just a little off Geylang Road.

Well, I had one chicken wing and about seven sticks of satay. Does that mean I indirectly smoked 80 sticks of cigarettes?

Categories: Food Files
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This place apparently needs no introduction, judging from the size of the crowd.

That above is the queue.

And these are the diners:

Yep, it’s a big place and this big table above is reserved for us!

And this is us:

You need a big group if you want to enjoy your seafood.

This restaurant is supposed to be famous for its unique crabs. But this was my first time coming here, thanks to Hamster Ely, who bought us dinner because she snagged a cushy new job.

Our first dish was drunken prawns. I really love drunken prawns, but I really hate having to watch live prawns get cooked. Yes, it’s one of those absurdities of human nature.

I need to share my horror, so here’s a picture.

Alive:

Dead:

I’m sorry, prawns, but you were quite delicious.

The next dish, thankfully, came to us already dead and properly garnished.

Bamboo clams with enoki mushrooms!

That was really yummy.

I can’t remember what this next one is called. Some kinda pork rib or other:

Who cares what it’s called as long as it tastes good?

Yeah, like, who cares what this is called, either?

It’s some kind of chicken or other and it tastes good. That’s all that matters, ay?

The tofu with pork floss came at a time when I was getting full.

What a pity.

In fact, I started dinner not really feeling hungry because we’d been snacking on pizza and junk food the entire afternoon before this dinner.

A darn waste.

Because when the main attraction came, I was severely in need of a spare stomach.

The main attraction, of course, is crab.

But this vermicelli crab was only the prelude. I didn’t touch it because it looked utterly unremarkable and I had to save that last square inch of my stomach for the main, main attraction, which was…

Really seriously awesome shit.

Not shit, literally, if you get my drift.

It’s a key dish of the restaurant. I can’t remember what stupid name they call it, but it’s basically crab in cream sauce, as you can see.

You have to order fried mantou (Chinese bun) to dip in the sauce.

In fact, forget about eating anything else. Just come here and eat mantou with this.

Like this:

Divine bliss!!! !!! !!!

Then again, eat too much of this creamy stuff and you might start feeling sick. So, yeah, order something else, too.

Like a proper Chinese banquet, we had fried rice at the end of our meal. The fried rice is supposed to be famous and special, but I thought it was normal.

No picture because I was already on the verge of regurgitation.

Anyway, who can eat rice after so much food? I never touch the rice or noodles at the end of banquets. I think they’re ridiculous and should be done away with entirely.

The name of this restaurant is really corny. It’s called Seafood Paradise. I mean, can you get any cornier?

Seafood Paradise is located at 91 Defu Lane 10, Swee Hin Building. You might want to call to make reservations because you can see for yourself that the walk-in queue is crazy. Phone number is 6487 2429.

Remember, if you’re going to eat seafood, don’t snack on junk food before!!

Categories: Food Files
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Here’s an incident that left me so astounded that I threw all my evening plans out the window so I could rush home to blog about it.

Kind of.

I was at Square 2 Shopping Mall in search of the best cupcakes I’ve eaten in my life. (Some months ago, a friend had bought me some and left me wanting for more.)

It didn’t take much effort for me to find the little outlet. A sign was displayed on the counter, proclaiming: “Buy 5 Get 1 Free!”

That was great, because the cupcakes cost $2 each (an outrageous price for their tiny size, but totally worth it because they’re melt-in-your-mouth good).

I chose three flavours and told the girl at the counter I wanted two each.

She took the six cupcakes out and placed them on a tray. That was when I discovered there was another flavour I just had to try. So I ignored my wallet’s protestations and upped my order.

“Two more of the Nutella, please,” I said.

So now I had eight cupcakes on the tray, waiting to be packed.

This was where I received my first clue that the counter girl was clueless.

While packing my cupcakes, she said, “Do you want to get nine pieces? The box is made for nine pieces so it will pack nicely and the cupcakes won’t slide around and crush each other.”

I considered the suggestion. I also considered upping my order to 12 pieces so I could get two free. Might as well, since I was already getting so many, you know.

I asked the lady, “If I get 12 pieces, how are you going to pack them?”

“Six in one box lor,” she explained, as if I were dumb.

“This same box?”

“Yah.”

“Won’t they slide around even more, then?”

I wanted to go on to say that the “buy 5 get 1 free” promo isn’t very good if they persuade people to get nine pieces to fill up one box, just to prevent the cupcakes from getting smashed around. Because, then, customers can never get the best deal by buying in multiples of six.

But I wasn’t in an argumentative mood, so I held my tongue and waited for her answer.

“Er… I can pack for you in the small box.” (Small boxes hold two cupcakes each.)

Not a very good solution, but a solution, nonetheless. I went on to consider the state of my wallet, which was now giving me dark looks as I contemplated using its contents to acquire even more cupcakes.

“Hmm. I have eight pieces now. Means, I get one free, right?”

“Right.”

“How much does my order cost now?” (Sometimes I’m just lazy to do mental calculations.)

“You have eight pieces. It’s $2 each.” (Seems I have met my match in laziness.)

Sighing inwardly, I did my own mental calculation.

“My order is $14 because I have a free one, right?”

“Right.”

I thought about it more. Adding one more cupcake just to fill up the box was a bit silly. Getting 12 pieces was a bit excessive.

“I’ll just get these eight, thanks.”

So, the girl finished packing my cupcakes and went over to the cash register to ring up my order. A few button presses later, the cash register displayed “$16″.

The girl said, “$16.”

I stared at her wondering if she was stupid or just forgetful. I took out $15 and held it out to her, thinking that would jog her memory.

A look of confusion crossed her face as she looked at my $15.

“It’s $16,” she repeated.

I continued staring at her, weighing the pros and cons of being rude (funny but bad karma) and being nice (good karma but boring).

“Er…,” I said, while I thought about it.

The girl felt that she had to fill in the conversational gap. “You bought eight pieces. It’s $2 each so it’s $16.”

Faced with such infallible logic, I had no choice but to play my trump card.

I looked over again at the big sign placed prominently on the counter which screamed, “Buy 5 Get 1 Free!”

Then I turned back to her and asked, “Don’t I get one free?”

“Ah?” she looked surprised.

I waited.

Her colleague came over to investigate the holdup. The girl looked at her colleague pleadingly, as if she thought she was serving a moron and needed help.

Both of them had a short discussion in Malay. I didn’t understand any of it but it was clear that her assertive colleague had more of a clue.

The original girl then had a light bulb moment as she said, “Oh!” She turned to me and accepted my $15.

“Here’s your $1 change. Thank you!” she smiled brightly, as if she hadn’t just done the most moronic thing ever.

Oh, well. At least she was sort of friendly.

I didn’t play my rude card, either. I smiled back at her with genunie warmth and said thank you. That had better earn me some karma points.

Anyway, the outlet is called Angelz Cup and is located at Square 2 (beside Novena Square and Novena MRT station). It’s on the fourth floor, just outside NTUC Fairprice.

Try it if you’re around the area. They’re all chocolate based (I think) but they come in exciting flavours like Nutella, Cream Cheese, Peanut Butter, Oreos, Butterscotch and Mocha. I’ve only tried two flavours so far but they’re both great.

Categories: Food Files, Regular Blogs
32 Comments »

I just got home from a full-day shoot and dinner at Paulaner Brauhaus, so this is going to be short and sweet. (Because I’m tired and tipsy.)

I drank one litre of beer.

Anyway, it’s Oktoberfest, so you must visit a German restaurant at least once during this month. It’s a sacred rule, you know?

There’s this special Oktoberfest brew they’re serving at Paulaner Brauhaus only for this week. It’s quite strong. Even the Goonfather, who is usually immune to alcohol, felt tipsy after one litre.

It’s quite expensive. $16.90 for half a litre. But pretty worth it because “it has kick”, according to the Goonfather.

Kell got drunk after only two-thirds of his half-litre.

See, here’s proof.

Kell decided that his mug of beer would look really handsome with sunglasses, so he decorated it.

Crazy bugger.

(The mug on the left is the Goonfather’s. That was already his second mug, while Kell was still struggling with his first.)

I had a great time. The place was quite happening and the Munich band there was really cool. They made me happy with their unique renditions of popular cover songs. And there were German lasses wandering around in milkmaid costumes.

The liver dumpling soup was sublime. And try the Nurnberger sausages. OMG yummy. Kell and the Goonfather fancied the Cheese Knackers more. I think because the word reminds them of a certain item of womanly delicates.

Sorry, no pictures because I was too tipsy to think about taking pictures.

But!

I took this picture as proof that we almost got ripped off.

We got charged $27 for tips we never gave. And that’s on top of service charge and GST.

But the restaurant was nice enough to modify the bill after we alerted them to this discrepancy. At the same time, we were also told that there’s a 15% discount for Amex holders.

So they cancelled our first bill and charged our order to the Goonfather’s Amex card, instead. Our bill become $50 cheaper!

Wow.

[Random camwhore pic]

Okay. Need to shower and sleep.

Happy Oktoberfest!

Categories: Food Files
20 Comments »

Last week, I brought The Goonfather to Superdog at VivoCity because I had tried it once and loved it. The Ripper hotdog was crunchy and juicy. The bun was crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. The sauce was yummy.

But my second trip turned out quite disastrous.

1. We were overcharged because the counter girl thought she was damn smart.

   We had used two discounted-meal coupons in our order. We also ordered two individual items. But the counter girl didn’t key in the items as that. She split up the items in the discounted meals and keyed in everything individually.

   The Goonfather told her that the tally wasn’t right because of that. She insisted she was correct. They had a ten-minute discussion which I didn’t hear because I was waiting at the seating area. Finally, he gave up arguging and sat down to work out the sums.

   After a while, he figured it out and brought the receipt back to explain. The manager said he would check it out. It took a few of the staff 30 minutes to discuss and check, after which they came back and refunded us $1. *lol*

2. They used the wrong bun on the wrong hotdog.

   We ordered a Spicy Italian and a Ripper. The menu specifies that the Spicy Italian comes in a soft bun. And I know the Ripper comes in a toasted bun.

   When our order arrived, the Spicy Italian was in toasted bun.

   

   The Ripper was in a soft bun.

   

   Both wrong.

   I know the hotdogs actually look quite delicious in the pictures. But read on.

3. The Spicy Italian was charred and didn’t taste good. It was dry and tasteless.
4. The toasted bun was dry and hard throughout, unlike the first time I had tried it.
5. The Ripper tasted wrong. It wasn’t crispy, crunchy and juicy like the last time. It tasted more like cheap canned hotdog.
6. The Ripper’s bun was coated with sauce when it came. By the time I was done with my meal, my fingers were disgustingly sticky. Aren’t they supposed to put sauce on the dog and not on the bun? (On the plus side, the sauce still tasted as good as before. Haha.)

   

I’m totally mystified. How could things get so bad so fast? Perhaps it was “one of those days” for the restaurant.

We also had a burger, which was quite nice but not spectacular.

But our overall experience was disappointing. After my first time, I had thought I’d found another nice fast food which isn’t too expensive. I love fast food and was looking forward to becoming a regular customer.

But after this round, The Goonfather swore he would never step back there again. Haha.

Oh, well. There’s always McDonald’s.

Categories: Food Files
28 Comments »