So, I’m going to be mean today and show you some of the calories I collected from my weekend KL trip.

1. Seafood Curry Noodles

Located in a quiet alley in the town of Segambut, this noodle outlet enjoys a thriving business selling seafood noodles in three flavours: curry, tom yam and clear.

Curry is the hot favourite and that’s what we’ve been craving to eat since our last triip there. It’s really the best curry noodles I’ve eaten. Not that I’ve eaten much to begin with. Haha.

Each bowl is so chock full of seafood (mussels, clams, big prawns and squid) that I wanted to donate some to the goonfather. But I didn’t because it was so delicious I had to finish the bowl even if I exploded doing it.

The curry soup is literally to die for!!!

2. Fried Chicken Claw

We had this as part of our dinner in a dirty street filled with small hawker stalls lining both sides.

The chicken claw is mostly a novelty, although it does taste quite good. I enjoyed the regular chicken parts more. The stall was quite popular, too, judging from the neverending queue.

3. Satay

The taste and quality of this satay is about on par with the best satay in Singapore but there are a few special things to add.

There’s a bigger variety. Besides chicken, beef and mutton, there’s also rabbit and venison. And beef tripe. And chicken heart and liver — my favourite!

A chilli oil sauce is available for adding to the regular peanut sauce (you can mix and match the quantity) to spice up the taste. It’s very spicy but very good.

The price is ridiculously low for such good food. It’s RM$0.60 per stick!! That’s like 25 Singapore cents, half the price of an average Singapore satay! The rabbit and venison are priced higher, at RM$1.20 and RM$1.30, respectively, but that’s still cheap!

The stall is located in a rest stop along the Kesas Highway and we have to drive a great distance to get there and back but it’s so worth it we do it every time we go to KL.

This time round, we ordered 60 sticks for three of us and almost died trying to finish it. I only managed to eat 15 sticks! Guess how many the Goonfather ate! Haha!

4. McDonald’s Grilled Chicken Foldover

We drove up to Genting Highlands to eat this. I know it’s crazy, but the Genting version tastes so much better than the Singapore version because the bread is more crispy and there are more vegetables. And the patty is juicier. Like how KFC tastes better in Malaysia than in Singapore. Sometimes we drive to Malaysia just to eat KFC.

5. Hong Kong Milk Tea

This isn’t food and I don’t really want to talk about the tea, except to say that it’s really good.

I actually want to highlight the ice. This was at a Hong Kong style cafe called Prince Cafe in Mid Valley City.

Each glass of iced milk tea comes with a giant chunk of frozen milk tea to keep your drink cold without diluting it. How I love that because I hate my drinks getting diluted by melting ice cubes.

It was a huge chunk, too. By the time I finished my meal and my drink, the chunk still hadn’t totally melted.

I think all cold drinks in the world should be served like that!

I hope you enjoyed helping me count my calories as much as I enjoyed consuming them. =)

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Today’s blog is ostensibly about chocolate, but it’s actually just an excuse to camwhore.

You see, one day, the Goonfather rushed home all excited and said to me, “I have something yummy for you! You’ll love it!”

“What what what?” I cried excitedly.

“Here!”

“Eew! What’s that?” I exclaimed.

“Chilli chocoate! It’s yumzzzzzzzz!”

“Gross!!!” I said.

“Just try it lah! I had to smuggle it out of the office!”

It was a leftover bar of chocolate that had arrived from Germany and circulated around his office. He thought I would like it because I love chilli and I love chocolate. And his colleagues all loved it, apparently.

But the thought of mixing chilli with chocolate has never crossed my mind. What a crazy combination.

Still, I had to give it a try.

Slowly, skeptically, I took a bite.

I chewed reflectively.

“Yuck!” I said, delivering the verdict straight to the point.

“It’s dark chocolate. I hate dark chocolate,” I complained.

“I can’t even taste the chilli,” I continued.

“There’s a bit of a spice, but it’s more sour than spicy,” I finished.

The Goonfather called me lousy (again) for not knowing how to appreciate dark chocolate.

I don’t like the taste lor!! Cannot meh?

And, dark chocolate aside, I don’t care whether it’s Lindt or not. Chilli chocolate is weird!

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I know some people are going to kill me for this, but what can I do? Journalists live dangerously. (Which is why I quit being a journalist, but old habits die hard.)

Anyway… another food post!

Hehehe!

We took the Goonfather to Carnivore for his birthday. The food is so good I feel compelled to go back again right after I digest my first meal!

The concept is not new (been around for ages) but for those who haven’t tried it, it’s a barbeque buffet restaurant where they serve you meat right off the skewers in front of you.

ALL KINDS OF MEAT.

There are several kinds of beef (different parts), lamb, pork, ham, chicken, fish, sausages. There are also interesting things like chicken hearts and pineapple. The meat waiters just come to you nonstop to fill up your plate.

There’s also a salad bar with all kinds of vegetables and pasta. It’s delicious!!!

Here’s what my plate looks like after I’ve helped myself to some salad and had my first piece of beef sliced onto my plate.

This beef just melts in your mouth.

I love the chicken heart.

I hate the pineapple because it burned my tongue (acid burn, not heat burn).

But I seem to be the only one who suffered from that. The others loved the pineapple. It looks dry but it’s really juicy and fragrant when you bite into it. It’s barbequed on a skewer and sliced hot directly onto your plate, like the meats.

One note of caution. Some of the meats are really salty so might not be suitable for people who take minimal salt. But I love it!

And now, for something truly disgusting to take your appetite off a bit.

Rare beef! Yuck.

Some of the beef come with rare centres. It’s so rare it’s raw! The Goonfather and Morte were lapping it up like carnivores. Gross. I don’t know how anyone can look at that red glob and salivate like a savage, which is what the two carnivores sitting beside me were doing.

You can request for the more cooked parts if you’re squeamish like me. The cooked parts are divine. I’ve never eaten so much beef in one sitting!

Ok, enough meat. It’s dessert time!

There’s a chocolate fondue fountain beside the salad bar, stocked with fruits and marshmallows.

That’s Paul’s plate above.

He started rather conservatively with a few pretty sticks.

But he found that he enjoyed it so much, he had to go back for second helpings.

How can anyone eat so much dessert after stuffing himself silly with a whole cow??!! (That’s roughly how much meat he ate.)

Well, he’s Paul, aka Don Juan de Porko. Like that explains anything. But it does.

Personally, I don’t like chocolate fondue (because I don’t like dark chocolate) and I find this chocolate too sweet.

The Goonfather says I’m lousy because I don’t appreciate fine foods like raw meat and dark chocolate.

Idiot.

When everyone was stuffed and couldn’t eat another bite, we sprang the surprise.

The Goonfather nearly jumped out of his skin in shock when the waiters sprang out from the kitchen bearing a cake and singing him a birthday song in Spanish.

Hahahahaha!

But I think he was generally pleased with the surprise.

I don’t know how anyone managed to eat any birthday cake at that point of time, but we all did. It’s Lana chocolate cake!!

Satisfied smiles.

But it’s really a bad idea to do a birthday cake thing at a buffet restaurant.

I told Wang Wang as much, but she said the Carnivore staff are really nice and will sing a birthday song on request, so I thought I would give it a try.

I suppose it was worth it.

I’m definitely going back again!

If you go at 5:30pm, there’s a happy hour price of $31++ or $33++ depending on the day of the week. Regular prices are $39++ and $42++. There’s a branch at Chjimes and one at VivoCity.

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Someone told me today that eating one stick of satay is equivalent to smoking 10 sticks of cigarettes.

Wow.

I know that barbequed meat is harmful. There are many articles circulating around on that topic. But I didn’t know it was that bad.

So, should I quit eating bbq chicken wings and pick up smoking, instead?

Haha. Just kidding. I couldn’t give up my favourite food if you killed me.

I found a food stall in Geylang which serves rather unique satay and bbq chicken wings.

It’s cooked Chinese-style, using all kinds of interesting Chinese herbs and spices, and tastes nothing like the regular Malay satay.

The pork and mutton are supposedly the best, although I feel that the pork (above) is way better, which is why we ordered a huge bunch of it, compared to the measly few sticks of mutton (below) we ordered just to have a variety of taste.

The satay is meant to be eaten together with a fragrant barbequed bun, which also comes skewered in a satay stick. There’s no sauce.

The Goonfather says not to order the beef because it’s dry and it sucks. There’s also chicken satay, but we didn’t order it because we wanted bbq chicken wings, instead.

Chicken wings my favourite! Tastes so unique. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

Actually, that’s because I’ve kinda forgotten how it tastes like, haha. It was about a month ago when I ate it but I remember loving it. I didn’t even need chilli sauce to go with it and I’m the chilli sauce queen.

Haha. The woman manning the stall looked at me suspiciously while I took photos of her shopfront.

I won’t say the satay is to die for, but I’m writing about it because it’s interesting. Something you probably can’t find anywhere else in Singapore. And it tastes pretty decent.

The stall is located at Geylang Lorong 31, just a little off Geylang Road.

Well, I had one chicken wing and about seven sticks of satay. Does that mean I indirectly smoked 80 sticks of cigarettes?

Categories: Food Files
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This place apparently needs no introduction, judging from the size of the crowd.

That above is the queue.

And these are the diners:

Yep, it’s a big place and this big table above is reserved for us!

And this is us:

You need a big group if you want to enjoy your seafood.

This restaurant is supposed to be famous for its unique crabs. But this was my first time coming here, thanks to Hamster Ely, who bought us dinner because she snagged a cushy new job.

Our first dish was drunken prawns. I really love drunken prawns, but I really hate having to watch live prawns get cooked. Yes, it’s one of those absurdities of human nature.

I need to share my horror, so here’s a picture.

Alive:

Dead:

I’m sorry, prawns, but you were quite delicious.

The next dish, thankfully, came to us already dead and properly garnished.

Bamboo clams with enoki mushrooms!

That was really yummy.

I can’t remember what this next one is called. Some kinda pork rib or other:

Who cares what it’s called as long as it tastes good?

Yeah, like, who cares what this is called, either?

It’s some kind of chicken or other and it tastes good. That’s all that matters, ay?

The tofu with pork floss came at a time when I was getting full.

What a pity.

In fact, I started dinner not really feeling hungry because we’d been snacking on pizza and junk food the entire afternoon before this dinner.

A darn waste.

Because when the main attraction came, I was severely in need of a spare stomach.

The main attraction, of course, is crab.

But this vermicelli crab was only the prelude. I didn’t touch it because it looked utterly unremarkable and I had to save that last square inch of my stomach for the main, main attraction, which was…

Really seriously awesome shit.

Not shit, literally, if you get my drift.

It’s a key dish of the restaurant. I can’t remember what stupid name they call it, but it’s basically crab in cream sauce, as you can see.

You have to order fried mantou (Chinese bun) to dip in the sauce.

In fact, forget about eating anything else. Just come here and eat mantou with this.

Like this:

Divine bliss!!! !!! !!!

Then again, eat too much of this creamy stuff and you might start feeling sick. So, yeah, order something else, too.

Like a proper Chinese banquet, we had fried rice at the end of our meal. The fried rice is supposed to be famous and special, but I thought it was normal.

No picture because I was already on the verge of regurgitation.

Anyway, who can eat rice after so much food? I never touch the rice or noodles at the end of banquets. I think they’re ridiculous and should be done away with entirely.

The name of this restaurant is really corny. It’s called Seafood Paradise. I mean, can you get any cornier?

Seafood Paradise is located at 91 Defu Lane 10, Swee Hin Building. You might want to call to make reservations because you can see for yourself that the walk-in queue is crazy. Phone number is 6487 2429.

Remember, if you’re going to eat seafood, don’t snack on junk food before!!

Categories: Food Files
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