Hair’s my latest look

I’m back!! Hardly a surprising event for those of you used to my appearing and disappearing over the years, coming and going as I please, as if my blog were a hotel, lol. Some people are just that rude!

But I do have a surprise. Well, just a tiny one. Which you probably already noticed way before you read these words, because of this photo right here.

 

Sheylara with short hair
Aaaaaah! What have you done! I imagine some of you saying.

 

I cut my hair! In fact, this photo was taken four months and a bit ago, on the day I cut my hair short. But this is the first time I’ve put my photo online since then (because I just haven’t felt like it).

Well, not that a hair cut is a big deal or anything. But it’s something to blog about if you don’t do anything else in your life except play games and read books all day long. (Which I don’t. Honest.)

I got tired of hair on the carpet and hair in the shower plughole. If you have super long hair, cream coloured carpet will look positively frightening only three or four days after you’ve hoovered the whole place and told yourself you don’t ever want to touch the hoover again for the rest of your life, but you have to because hair.

In fact, I wanted to cut it even shorter but Piers wouldn’t let me, so this was kind of a compromise.

 

Cutting your hair short comic
Cutting your hair could be a good or bad thing. Who knows?

 

It took me only three or four days to realise that nothing changed from that hair cut. My head still rained hair on the carpets and plugholes, and I still have to break out the hoover more often than I would like.

So, that was all a big waste of energy. Plus the short hair ends tickle my neck.

Still, a change every so often is probably good. Not that my hair can ever change much, being literally the most stubborn hair on the planet. All it ever wants to do is be straight and limp. And stylists who have to get me ready for a shoot hate my hair. That ought to tell you something.

Well, like I said, it’s been four months and a bit, so it’s longer now, straighter and limper than ever.

 

Slightly longer short hair
This is slightly longer short hair still trying to poke everywhere and tickle my neck

 

Okay, I don’t really know why this post became a whole post about my stupid hair. I only meant to say I’m back blogging (do I miss it ever so much) and here’s my new short hair and happy new year, you know?

So, like, I have A ZILLION THINGS to blog about, having not blogged for so long, you would think, and the first thing I do is whine about my hair. Right?

Next you know I’ll be blogging about handbags.

Women, tsk.

 

Hobbies to drive your spouse crazy

There must be nothing more annoying than a friend or family member learning a new language (except maybe a friend or family member learning piano or violin or the trombone). These linguist-wannabes would go around all day saying asinine things like “I am eating an apple” (in whatever language) even if it’s blindingly obvious that they are not, in fact, eating anything at all.

They would tell you in earnest: “The cat is black and the orange is orange,” and you would wonder about ringing up their therapist.

And maybe you should because goodness knows everyone needs a therapist these days.

 

Comic - Learning a new language

 

I should know because, right now, I am spouting truisms such as “el vino y la manzana son rojos” on a daily basis. (For the Spanish-challenged, this means “the wine and the apple are red”.) I am diligent in practising my sentences because I’m sure they will come in handy when I next visit Spain.

“El vino y la manzana son rojos,” I will say to the nice lady ringing up my shopping at the supermarket while I point at the apple and the delectable bottle of Spanish wine in my basket.

And she will clap her hands in glee and give me a discount because I just said something very useful to her.

 

Comic - Learning a new language 2

 

All I need to do is make sure that I preserve my sanity long enough to even make the trip to Spain. One does tend to feel a bit crazy after one has kindly informed one’s family for the umpteenth time the colours of various objects in the household and the ways in which one can interact with said objects, only to be met with a blank stare.

For example, I would tell Piers, in Spanish, “The newspaper is black and white. I read the newspaper,” and he would give me either a blank stare or, more often, a “Shall I ring your therapist?” stare, slightly quizzical, slightly worried, but mostly what the fuck.

Perhaps it’s his sanity I should be worried about.

 

Comic - Learning a new language 3

 

Now, remember in the beginning I mentioned that someone learning a musical instrument would probably be more annoying than someone telling you dumb things in Spanish all day long?

Well, guess what, I’m buying a piano, too!

Or, rather, Piers has just agreed to buy me a piano!

Ooh. I just realised that he probably isn’t yet aware of the double whammy situation he’s gotten himself into.

Double insanity!

Well, I am not exactly a totally virgin beginner pianist. I took piano lessons when I was 11 for a year or two and passed a few exams. However it HAS been a while, so I’m anticipating long months of banging out Yankee Doodle or whatever stupid songs they make you learn in piano these days.

I should probably put a therapist on our speed dial.

On the health front, I’ve decided to give yoga another try. (Went to a class a long time ago and hated it because it was so boring.) But I need to like it because of, well, health reasons, lol, so I’m going to try it at home first (using yoga apps on the iPad) and see how that works out before going to actual classes.

Perhaps Piers will be so distracted (and distraught) by the crazy poses that he won’t notice the other hobbies!

 

Comic - Yoga

 

There’s a plan, huh?

Probably not a very good one but we all gotta do what we all gotta do and spouses gotta put up with it. :D

Will keep you posted on outcomes!

 

Why I disappeared again

I’m back! Again! So, okay, that took a bit longer than planned, but it’s all normal. I just got side-tracked a little, as I’m wont to do. (I hate the phrase “wont to do” so I don’t know why I’m using it.)

Now, to pick up where I left off.

When Silly Wen left England in May, I was supposed to resume blogging (again). I didn’t, obviously, and I can’t use the alien abduction excuse twice so, this time, I’m going to place the entire blame on Game of Thrones Ascent, this stupid game I started playing early last year.

Well, okay, a bit of the blame goes to my weak will, that lousy piece of unpalatable word, but only a little bit.

 

(Comic) Running out of excuses

 

I shan’t go into boring detail so let’s just say that the game got updated with lots of new stuff around the end of April, demanding even more participation to fully reap all the benefits. It got so that playing it was a full-time job if you wanted to remain competitive.

Stupidly, I got sucked in.

I have played games full-time before. They were mostly MMORPGs such as EverQuest 2 and Star Wars Galaxies, from a long time ago, an era before evil IAPs. I never regretted those; they were fun and fulfilling, and even got me in the news.

 

Sheylara posing with a cheesy lightsaber toy.
An old archive photo (c. 2003) from my interview in The Straits Times
I’d probably regret digging out.

 

But I regret every minute spent playing Game of Thrones Ascent. It’s not even a proper game and the game mechanics and UI are so 20th century fail that I actually feel embarrassed admitting to playing it.

I also feel ashamed for having played it so long. But no more. I quit.

QUIT!

Suddenly, I feel free. Unencumbered. The world is my oyster again. Although, after quitting, I spent probably two weeks wallowing in that empty, lost feeling you get when you go cold turkey or end a destructive relationship.

But I’m now ready to rush headlong into my next addiction! Except I’m thinking I should take a break and be normal for a bit. You know, like, do normal people things, eat proper meals, get some exercise, water the dying herbs.

Also, blog.

So, there you go. Welcome me back! Or not, but I DO care, because I feel stupid blogging to air so the plan is for that to not happen. I like to keep a dialogue going (even if it’s mostly imagined) and I know you miss my ramblings.

Right?

 

Babysitting the bestie

I haven’t disappeared! Still here, but extremely busy spending time with my best friend Wen (I used to call her Nanny Wen but I think that nickname is old now, so I need to think of another one) and her boyfriend.

They have come to England to visit me and Piers, although not so much him, I think, heh, because Goofy Wen and Piers bicker all the time, disagreeing with each other’s accents and food choices and lots of other miscellaneous things.

 

Mandatory group photo at Corfe Castle, Isle of Purbeck
Sightseeing at Corfe Castle, Isle of Purbeck

 

So, anyway, can’t blog much until they leave because they’re here for only a week more and we have PLACES TO GO and THINGS TO DO, as if we’re very happening people!

But we’re not, really. Silly Wen fell asleep at like 9:30 pm on a Saturday night; she’s useless after a glass or two of wine. So the rest of us just watched TV and then went to bed. Tsk!

Business will resume once they’ve gone and I’ve recovered sufficiently from the trauma of babysitting The Wen.

Toodles for now!

 

It’s your fault that I post selfies

Yes, I just thought it was time for me to post a recent selfie to show that I haven’t grown horns or anything.

Although I suppose I could have just photoshopped the horns away and you’d be none the wiser. But let’s just assume that I haven’t got the skills to do that. I can just about erase the odd blemish and eye bag and wrinkle and… wait, what? I didn’t say anything. I’m not saying anything until I see my lawyer.

What respectable human being grows horns for no reason, anyway?

So, selfie, sans horn!

 

Sheylara

 

Except I have cleverly cropped the top of my head off. Mwahaha.

And then very un-cleverly revealed all my tricks.

Speaking of horns, I just remembered I have a pair of cute reindeer antler hair clips I bought years ago. I was planning to wear them at Christmas but kept forgetting, and have forgotten three years in a row, or thereabouts.

Perhaps this year I will remember and then we can have a selfie with antlers.

Although when Piers found out my plans (to wear antlers at Christmas) he was, like, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, I’m not sure he would let me out of the house with them on.

Only about eight months to find out.

 

Comic: Antlers
He was afraid to tell her something was growing out her head.

 

Now I want to talk a bit about selfies. They’re a funny bit of modern culture that makes me very uncomfortable. I mean, selfies are blatant attention-seeking devices, right? Who would post a selfie other than to say, “Look at me and give me some attention, dammit?”

But go ask anyone, “Do you like attention-seeking people?” I’m going to bet you the answer is no. In fact, you know the answer is no without having to ask.

So why is it that, when someone posts a selfie anywhere, they get likes and compliments GALORE?

Here, look at this.

A selfie appears on my Facebook feed. I get 112 likes. And it wasn’t even a proper selfie post. I was just changing my profile back to an old picture I had already used before.

 

Selfie

 

On the contrary, a blog post link, accompanied by a nice little cartoon, gets three likes.

 

A blog post

 

THREE.

Ok, I did manipulate the data a bit by picking out two extreme instances but the fact generally is that selfie posts get WAY MORE likes and comments than any other posts (except engagement and pregnancy announcements).

It’s almost enough to make me quit blogging altogether and just post selfies all day long.

But, like I said, it makes me very uncomfortable.

Why do people claim not to like attention-seekers yet give them so much attention?

 

Peoples! You are messed up
You should be very afraid of yourself.

 

A lot has been written on this subject. A lot of psychobabble about self-esteem, and a lot of rants about selfies destroying the universe. I don’t want to add to that. Well, I do want to add that people are crazy and the world is crazy, and that’s about the size of it.

The selfie culture makes me uncomfortable because I was raised in an era and country of modesty and humility, which selfies are the burning antithesis of. I don’t want to post a single selfie if I am to be honest. I want to be admired for the work I do. But a lot more people seem to admire my selfies than my work, so it encourages me to propagate the selfie culture.

Which means that it’s all your fault.

When you like my selfies, it makes me feel better about the times you fail to like my blog posts, which I would have put a few thousand times more effort on.

Time spent writing this post: 5 hours.

Time spent taking this selfie: 5 seconds.

 

The other selfie
Let’s play a game. It’s called smile at the camera for no reason.

 

So, people, I don’t know, like, just do the right thing. Leave a comment to tell me I’m right (that you are messed up because you like selfies more than anything else)?